22 Bones, Episode 12: “Casting Call”

(lively Scottish music) – [Yorick] Man, that moon
trip took a lot out of me. It’s nice to just kick back and relax. – [Bertie] Mail’s in. – [Yorick] We keep
getting this guy’s mail. You’d think they’d check the address a little more carefully. – [Bertie] This one’s
from Will Shakespeare. – [Yorick] Really? He said
he’d never speak to me again. (crackling) – [Will] Dear Yorick, how are you? I am fine. Since you left, the place
hasn’t been the same. Okay, I’ll admit it,
it’s gone down the tubes. I think I might have been
a bit rash in firing you. – [Yorick] He didn’t fire me, I quit. – [Will] We sent out a casting call for a replacement and got applicants of all sorts and descriptions. The big, the small, the rich, the old, goth, festive, seasonal, sporty, and just plain weird. I made another bad judgment call and decided to cheap out. We went with the papier mache guy who it turned out had
no personality at all. The audience became restless.
(booing) And the ratings plummeted
like a loose buskin. However, we did hire the goth guy to head up the lighting crew. I’m not a begging man but
if you could see your way to returning to the Globe, even for one summer season? Respectfully yours, Will Shakespeare. P.S. Hamlet says hi. – [Yorick] Hey Will,
good to hear from you. I’d really love to help you out but I just couldn’t leave
my crew in the lurch. You see, we’ve built our
own theater aboard our ship and we’ve been spreading
your name far and wide. You know that performance
of Hamlet a while back aboard the Red Dragon anchored
off the cost of Sierra Leone? Well, our discombobulator
got stuck that day. Yeah, that was us. (waves crashing) (tranquil harpsichord music)
(audience clapping) – [Bertie] Alas, poor
Yorick, I knew him well. – [Yorick] I knew him, Horatio. – [Computer] Huh? – [Yorick] Horatio, Horatio. – [Bertie] Gesundheit! – [Yorick] Sigh. Tell you what I’ll do though, my first officer can
sculpt a likeness of me as a stand in. It’ll be better than papier mache. Y. – [Will] Could have been worse. We could have ended up with the eggplant. (lively music)

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