Comedian John Cleese | E438 | Willkommen Österreich

Aber jetzt begrüßen wir
Mister John Cleese! * Russkaja spielt “Always look
on the bright side of life”. * * Applaus * John Cleese! John Cleese! Wo ist er? Gleich kommt John Cleese! Und hier ist John Cleese,
meine Damen und Herren! * Jubel und Applaus * John Cleese! I bring you to your place.
Mister John Cleese! * Jubel und Applaus * Mister Cleese. * Jubel und Applaus * Mister John Cleese,
ladies and gentlemen! * Jubel und Applaus * What would you like to drink,
Mister Cleese? Would i what? What do you like to drink? I want a … What was it?
– Kaiserspritzer. A Kaiserspritzer. He knows that? Ja, ja. I had one in the “Landtmann”.
– You had five. What is so good
about Kaiserspritzer? Kaiserspritzer is refreshing. And you can drink a lot of it. Did you sleep backstage right now? Yes, i just slept up when I saw him. You always fall asleep
when you see him? Yes, I want to do
what I can for his career. * Gelächter * Here comes the Kaiserspritzer. Please, come into the Bild. He was … Ich verfüge leider nicht
über das nötige Englisch, um mit Herrn Cleese auf Augenhöhe
reden zu können. Mister Cleese, Nia,
der ja Persisch kann, und Persisch ist dem Englischen
verwandt, dass er versucht zu übersetzen. They want me as a translator. Because my Persian is very good. Because their English
is not that good. How is their Persian? Their Persian? If I speak to you in Persian,
can you translate? – Yes. * Beide tun so,
als würden sie persisch sprechen. * * Applaus * I have one question
written down here. Let him … Please! Warte kurz! Könntest du das übersetzen? Er hat gefragt, wo euer Schleier is. Dear Mister Cleese,
what was your first impression of this half iranian, half austrian,
rather small but corpulent comedian? Good question. Die Frag is: Als du mich das erste
Mal g’sehen hast … Ach so! * Er tut wieder so,
als würde er persisch sprechen. * Das war very good. Yes. Thank you! * Gelächter * You like Vienna? What is it? What do you see? I like this desk.
I want to go under the desk. Under the desk? * Grissemann lacht. * Be careful! Hi! Are you okay? Yes! Great! Stay there! Nia, dann können wir ja weiterreden. * Applaus * Do you need something to drink?
– I have something to drink. Shall I bring it to you? It’s okay. Give me a kiss! We take a ride on you! Okay. So! This is … Na endlich! Is this already a silly walk? Or is it nothing? Nia, wir können das Interview
ja weitermachen, oder? What we’re doing? This was the best free acting
of Monty Python. Be careful! Haben wir was verloren?
– Nein. Die Brille von Herrn Cleese!
Mister Cleese, your sunglasses. Thank you very much. You like animals. I love animals. I’ve seen that now. The best of all are cats. I know. Ich muss übersetzen:
Am liebsten mag er Katzen. * Gelächter * Because? Weil? Weil? Because they are so much better
than chrildren. * Gelächter * The young people, when they get
married, they first thing they do is having children. Then for 35 fucking years they have
to look after their children. You don’t have
this problem with cats. They’re very soft contained,
you feed them twice a day. They’re always in affection. What do you think about Sodomy?
– Sodomy? Yeah. * Gelächter * It’s okay. * Gelächter * The question is:
If you wanna have sex with a cow: How do you ask, if it’s okay. Because we’re living
in politicaly correct times. What do you have, to make sure,
it’s a female cow? That’s the beginning. But then? “Muh, muh, muh”? You have to be able
to speak like a little cow. Cowish?
– Yes. Do you consider your cat
as a female person next to you, whom you like very much,
maybe too much? Yes. * Gelächter * Yes, I love my cats very much. I have a very nice wife. You know, I had a lot of …
– … wives. Wives. You had
a lot of private catastrophes. Yes, that’s why I’m still working. If it wasn’t for the third wife,
I would’nt be in Vienna. Having a good time
and enjoing myself. Which one of your ex-wives
is your favorite ex-wive? The dead one. * Gelächter * But! Man sieht schon … Ganz kurz! Es läuft ein unglaubliches
Ping-Pong-Spiel zwischen euch. Wie habt ihr den Abend,
den’s ja im Globe geben wird, restlos ausverkauft,
ihr zwei im Dialog. Wie erarbeitet ihr solche Abende? He asks: How we prepare for the show?
– For the show? Well, we have
lots of Kaiserspritzers. Yes. And we have a little
chat about general. But we really don’t know,
what is going to happen. That’s right. We have no idea,
what will be on stage. What we’re going to talk. Is it because you’re lazy? Pardon!
– Is it because you’re lazy? No, it’s because we’re old.
How old are you? I don’t look it. But I’m 51. Das heißt,
Nia ist der Jüngste am Tisch. Only 51? I thought you are older than me. No! I’m 51. Really? This are the iranian genes. Ah! I see. Kannst du ihn fragen,
was die Vorteile des Alters sind? Oder gibt es nur Nachteile? Is there anything positiv
about groing old? Or is it only negative? A lot!
– Positiv? Oh yes. What? For the first start: You go deaf. And that’s great. Because most of what people said,
isnt’s worth hearing. That’s good. Then … The problem is the memory. Because you forget things. My memory is not was it was
as far as I can remember. * Gelächter * Maybe it was better than it is now.
I can’t remember. Do you remember, that you were
a part of Monty Python? MONTY PYTHON. Monty … What? Oh! Monty Python! Yes! Yes, you know it. Few years ago. Yes, I was in the movies. You remember. That’s right. Mister Cleese, do you enjoy
being in Vienna? Hm? Are you enjoying being in Vienna?
– Yes! It’s sounds
like showbusiness-bullshit. But this is my favorite city
in the world. Why? Because …
– It’s about Sigmund Freud? .. it’s beautiful. The austrian people are very smart,
very funny and very laid back. I feel always connected. And I don’t know why. I’ve heard a radioshow,
where you were part. And you said, it’s so weird about
Vienna and you like it so much, there is so much culture, because
there are so few young people. This is the key. He hates children. I couldn’t understand
why there was so much music, so many museums, so many bookshops: And then I saw:
There are no children. And what happens is: They go out in the morning,
the children-catchers. And they catch all the children. And they all bring them
to Amstetten in a cellar. No! They take … Oooooooh! Ooooh! You naughty …! Es gibt die Gag-zurück-Garantie,
meine Damen und Herren! Gilt auch für Herrn Niavarani. I never buy your carpets again. What do we talking about? Cats! Let’s talk seriously. Frag ihn bitte! 50-jähriges Jubiläum
von Monty Python mittlerweile. Das war auch die Zeit der Beatles. Stimmt es, dass die Beatles,
Queen oder andere Popgrößen für Werke von Monty Pythons
Geld bezahlt haben, damit die zustande kommen? Is it true,
that The Beatles and Queen produced the work of Monty Python? 50 years ago, when you started.
– Yes, they did. We asked them,
if they would be in the show. And the queen was in the show.
She introduced the show. The queen paid for your show? No, she introduces. Of course, she didn’t introduced
the show, you stupid man! What do you talking about? He is German. He is German. You got me! I got you. He got me. Ähm. Wow! I have … * Applaus * Shut up!! I think, I go under the desk. John, you’re playing a solo-show
as well in Vienna. Which has the strange title … I haven’t confronted you on this. How many shows we’re doing together? Eight oder ten.
I don’t know. Eight. Well, we’re doing eight together. And two is just me. Two is just you?
– Shut up! The eight are sold out. And mine aren’t. So, the legend … When you work together: And you are
so much interested in money. That’s the only reason,
why you do that. So, do you share 50:50? Because it’s his theatre. He is the producer. I don’t know. Well, he thinks it’s 50:50. Ist das mittlerweile, lieber Nia,
lieber John, eine Freundschaft? Oder sind das Kollegen,
die hier sitzen? He’s asking, if we are just comrades
or if we’re friends? I think, to be friends, it takes
more time to spend together. We just met three times, before we
decided to put on a show. For me it’s a friendship. We had lunch three times. Friendship. It’s sometimes you meet someone,
I just said to Helen, that you and I are the same person. When I was listening
to your interview just now and Helen was translating it. He was saying all the things
that I say. That we haven’t even discussed. About if you’re on stage. It doesn’t
matter who gets the laughs. It’s somehow
a funny and weird connection. Seelenverwandtschaft.
– Soulmade. Sometimes it happens, I believe. And it happend with him. We discover,
we have all the same views. And we laugh so much,
when we’re together. It’s wonderful.
What is your name again? Michael! May I ask you one thing? When you arrived in Vienna
and you entered the airport. Did you go this time “EU Citizen”? Or did you already go
trough “Others”. I just slip around the back.
– He’s a star. I had a lot of stuff to …
– Okay. Um eine ernsthafte Frage zu stellen: Wie beurteilt er
die heutige Comedy-Szene? Haben sich
die Regeln der Comedy geändert? What’s your view on the comedy-scene? There’s a lot of very good
stand-up-comedians. But I don’t think, there’s a lot of
very good scripted comedy. 30, 40 years ago there were so many
people writing great scripted comedy. That’s not true in England now. They don’t seemed to have quite the
same quality of shows in America. To scripted comedy. The people in movies don’t know
how to construct a realy clever … The great constructors of comedy
were all Austrian. You know Billy Wilder. They were such artists. They knew how to structure a comedy. You’re an artist
in structuring comedy. Because “Fawlty Towers” …
– The structur is very well. You wrote “A fish called Wanda”. Just you? Yes. Did somebody else claiming …? No! You wrote as well “Wild creatures”? “Fierce Creatures”. “Fierce Creatures”, yes. We don’t talk about that. But you also wrote a sketch. And we talked about that sketch
before you came to the show. You wrote something for him. No, he didn’t write it for me. He and Graham Chapter … I asked him, if we can … Es ist ein Sketch,
der im Simpl gespielt wird. Jetzt momentan, ja. Aber nicht auf Englisch.
Du hast übersetzt. Allein wegen dieser Sketches
sollte man das Simpl stürmen. Wir müssen’s erklären.
– Was? Wir müssen die Szenerie erklären. Bei dem Sketch
muss man nix erklären. Jemand will ein Hörgerät kaufen
für seinen Vater. Erzähl doch gleich die Pointe!
– Nein! Ich hab ein neues Hörgerät.
Das is noch ned g’scheit kalibriert. Jetzt geht’s. Is es gut?
– 200 Euro. Zirka. Ja, aber ob’s gut is? Nein, ganz klein.
Da, im Ohr. Hören Sie mich? Bitte? Können Sie mich hören? Kontaktlinsen. Was? Sie brauchen Kontaktlinsen. Dafür
is der Kollege Pospisil zuständig. Ich mach nur Hörgeräte.
– * Klingeln * Die funktioniert auch nicht. Kollege Pospisil!
Da is jemand für Kontaktlinsen! Ja? Er sieht ein bisschen schlecht. Ha?! Grüß Gott! Bitte?
– Sie brauchen Kontaktlinsen? Bitte? Sie brauchen Kontaktlinsen? Ich kann Sie nicht hören. Da brauchen Sie aber keine
Kontaktlinsen, sondern ein Hörgerät. Nein, ich brauch
ein Hörgerät! Wer war das? Toll! Aus der neuen Simpl-Revue! Aus der Feder von John Cleese. Schauen Sie sich das bitte an! Und John Cleese spielt auch solo. Und zwar mit seiner Show “Seven ways
to skin an Ocelot” im Globe. Und Stermann! Hinter uns … Ich hab eine Frage.
I have a question. Because everybody
talks about british humor. What does that mean infect? What is british humor? Doesn’t exist. Very interesting, isn’t it? The BBC-Shows, not just my shows,
are always very popular in Scandinavia, in Holland. A little bit in Belgium,
where they speak flemish. And then
in the German speaking countries. But not ever in Italy, Spain,
Portugal, France. Very odd. It’s almost split
between protestants, I know Austrian is catholic,
and the catholics. So it’s an protest and humor? It has something
to do with an ability to seperate a little bit
from the Ego. Even look at your own behavior. But it’s lovely,
if you go to Scandinavia. Holland. Definitely in Switzerland,
Austria, Germany: People laugh
in exactly the same things. There is some stupid rumor
in England, that the Germans
have no sense to humor. That’s nonsens. They have the same sense of humor
like all the other people. – Wow! Mister Cleese,
wir sind uns wohl einig: Neben Auf-der-Bananenschale-
ausrutschen ist die Torte-ins-Gesicht-kriegen seit Jahrzehnten
DAS komische Element. But is there …? What we wanna do is: Mister John Cleese
is not only the pope of comedy. He is the god of comedy. This is true. Of course he is. I asked him to give
the two of you his blessing. Ja! And as a blessing … Ich würde mich nie trauen, Herrn Cleese
die Torte ins Gesicht zu schmeißen. How many times?
You have to bless them. I’m German,
I don’t know about humor. Sorry. Are you ready?
– I’m ready. Eins, zwei, drei! Jetzt siehst du nicht … Where are you? John, where are you? John Cleese und Michael Niavarani! John Cleese und Michael Niavarani!


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