Here come the WAVES marching row on row!
Clear the way as they pass in review… BING CROSBY:
It is said that we who live in the busy world of Nineteen Hundred and Forty-Five are all too prone to forget the glamour and the romance of the past. So for this evening’s medley, let us turn a backwards glance toward those days when there was less hustle and more bustle. We turn to those nostalgic times when loving couples croon to one another such tender melodies as these: KEN CARPENTER:
Maaaairzy Doats and dozy doats
and liddle lamzy divey…
[audience laughter] BING:
The milkman keep those bottles quiet… [chuckle] KEN:
Not forgetting the simple sentiment of “I Drottled a Drit-Dirt” BING:
What a lovely thing that is. Ah yes, cousin, those were the charming tunes of yesteryear, in fact Nineteen Hundred and Forty-Four. The year in which Johnny Mercer and Harold Arlen wrote the score being heard ’til this very day. And that salty saga currently seen on the silver screen, “Here Come the Waves”. KEN:
Yes, 1944 was the year in which family groups puttered around the parlor pianola or the neighborhood jukebox sang ’round the lays from listening to the years when grandma used to give voice to the violet-scented songs of an even earlier time. BING:
Ah yes, bringing ditties like: “Who Threw the Overalls in Mrs. Murphy’s Chowder” or “The High Rock Candy Mountain” or “Throw Him Down McCloskey”…[trails off] KEN:
Yes Bing, 1944, a year with much shadow… [audience laughter as Bing continues mumbling] 1944 did have its sunshine too. BING:
Oh a good year, a good year! KEN:
Truly a good Crosby year. BING:
How come? KEN:
Well, 1944 witnessed the cinematic triumph of “Going My Way”. BING:
Oh now, Ken, please. KEN:
With, uh, Barry Fitzgerald… BING:
I believe was his name. BING:
Yeah. [audience laughter] KEN:
1944, the year in which numerous Crosby records broke all previous records. BING:
Kensington, please! KEN:
Please, what? BING:
Please continue, I love it. [audience laughter] [chuckle] No really, it was a clever kind of year, didn’t you think?
Not bad. BING:
Interesting year, definitively sunny. KEN:
Was funny. 194 [skip] followed the lead of bobby soxers by bestowing stardom on Frank Sinatra. BING:
Into Each Life a Little Rain Must Fall. [audience laughter] KEN:
1944 was the year in which many young girls decided to be more than just “The Girl He left Behind” BING:
Ah yes, a lot of them joined Uncle Sam’s Navy to avoid being like the gals in our first “Here Come the Waves” chanter. There’s a WAVE waitin’ in Biloxi.
Says she’s gonna marry me or bust. We’re being married by proxy.
When I find me a wolf I can trust. There’s a SPAR waitin’ in Waukegan.
She is really different from the rest. I think her last name is Reagan.
That’s the name that’s tattooed on my chest. A WAC in Hackensack.
A WAAC from Pontiac. I got ‘em here and there.
What the heck, chicks are chicks anywhere. Some of them are kinda bobby-soxsy.
But it may be quite a lengthy fight. There’s a WAVE who’s waitin’ in Biloxi,
but I’m strictly on my own… strictly on my own… strictly on my own tonight! KEN:
1944, a year in which deathless words were said by men of distinction. The year when George Bernard Shaw declared, “The difference between men and women is that men are pugnacious and women are very pugnacious.” BING:
Hear, hear! KEN:
And the clever columnist and expert Franklin P. Adams quipped when running for office: “My main strategy is to keep my trap shut.” BING:
And he lost too. KEN:
By a long neck. And this year, radios win some wit. Fred Allen delivered his withering last word comment on California. BING:
What’d he say? KEN:
And I quote: “As for California, if you’re an orange, it’s ideal.” [laughter] BING:
And an anonymous bard bequeathed to us my favorite definition of a wave: “Sailors are said to say ‘aye, aye’ wherever they may go. But I have found that this is a wave:
a sailor who says ‘No’.” [audience laughter] KEN:
In that case, man,
you just have to eliminate the negative. BING:
We’ll leave as I “Accentuate the Positive” just like they say in “Here Come the Waves”. Plus we are building this picture up to a big letdown. Play. You’ve got to accent-uate the positive,
eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative,
don’t mess with Mister In-Between. You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum,
bring gloom down to the minimum, have [faith or] pandemonium,
liable to walk upon the scene To illustrate my last remark:
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark. What did they do
[just when every]thing looked so dark? Man, they said we better accentuate the positive,
eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative,
don’t mess with Mister In-Between. No, don’t mess with Mister In-Between! Oh yeah! I’m fine. Fine. KEN:
1944 and Bob Hope’s book “I Never Left Home” was an outstanding best-seller. BING:
1944 and Bob Hope’s nose was an upstanding best-smeller. [audience laughter] KEN:
And in a mellower mood, 1944’s cooing couples could woo each other with our concluding “Here Come the Waves” melody: “Let’s Take the Long Way Home” Let’s take the long way home. Let’s look for the long way home. And on the way, let’s pretend
that this wonderful night will never end. Through Asia would be much too soon;
We’ll circle once around the moon. Our dream boat will carry us across the foam. We’ll take the long way,
make sure it’s the wrong way. Let’s take the long way home. Shall we fly through the night?
Shall we dream [as we] go? [See the] star on your right?
See the farm [down below?] The whole trip it appears
only takes a million years. If you’re in the mood to roam. Then let’s take the long way. Make sure it’s the wrong way. Let’s take the long way home. [chorus vocalizing] That’ll be all in the Hall for this session, but we’ll be coming at you next Thursday eve at the same time with more of the same. Along with our special guests, Whistlin’ Fred Lowery and the lyrical soprano star, Vivain Della Chiesa. Adios for now. [applause] [instrumental] KEN:
The Armed Forces Radio Service. [instrumental]