Horror Express | Nightmare Theatre | WSRE

– [Announcer] This
original WSRE presentation is made possible by
viewers likw you. Thank you. (thunder crashing) ♪ One day the
devil came to him ♪ ♪ For he was a minor demon ♪ Asked him to
torture some humans ♪ ♪ With his two friends in tow ♪ Mittens and El Sapo ♪ The Baron Mondo Van Doren ♪ On Nightmare Theatre. – Look dude, I’m not
saying that at all. I’ll stand up dor
Shasta all day long, but nothing beats an
RC when it comes to your off-brand sodas. I mean, an RC and a Moon Pie? That’s as close to perfection as you’re gonna get
in the seven layers. Oh, we’re on. Greetings, my friends,
and welcome once again to another episode
of Nightmare Theatre. I am as always your host,
the Baron Mondo Van Doren and as usually the case, my
layabout manservant El Sapo seems to be AWOL once again. – Who’s a good boy,
who’s a good boy? – Well, well, well,
look who it is. What do you got there, Sapo? – Didn’t I tell you? I got a little puppy, boss. I know Mittens has
been a loyal companion, but he’s kinda moved
on with his life and I was feeling a bit like
an empty nester, you know? – No, I don’t know. The day you leave here will
be an absolute celebration. But where on earth
did you get a dog? – Remember last week
when I went home to visit my folks
down in Tijuana? I was down at Larry’s
Local Taco Stand and I saw this little
guy eating out of the dumpster behind the joint. He looked so sad and hungry. I coaxed him out with the
last bite of my chalupa and I managed to pick him up, ad he’s only bit me
four or five times. – And you brought the
rabid thing back here? – Oh boss, he’s not so bad. He’s gotten used to me. He only bites me
occasionally now. – I hate to ask this, but
what kind of dog is it? – I’m not sure, but I
think it’s a chihuahua. – Sapo, I don’t think
that’s a chihuahua. – Do you think it might
be a Cocker Spaniel or a Labradoodle, or one
of them fancy designer dogs all the Hollywood stars have? – Yeah, I’m sure that’s it. Now more importantly,
do you have a movie for us to screen for
the folks tonight? – Oh geez, I was so busy taking
care of little Lester here that I forgot to get
one, but you know what, I think I know
where to find one. Can you show something
while I run and get one? You wanna hold the puppy
while I’m gone, boss? – No, no, I’ll pass on that. Thank you very much, I’ll pass. – Okay, I’ll go get something. Ow, boy, ow, ow. (sighing) – Well, luckily folks,
I’ve grown accustomed to this gross
incompetence, and I’ve got a very special cartoon,
as well as, well, something that’s not
quite so special, chapter 10 of The
Phantom Creeps. Why don’t you watch
these presentation while Ratso here
finds us a film. (dramatic music) (engine rumbling) – Now we’ve got to get
aboard that schooner before anyone comes
back with help. – We can’t. Some of Rankin’s crowd
are still on the ship. – Start the motor, I will
explain you have to do. (engine rumbling) (water splashing) – We’ve got to get
that box ashore before Captain West gets the
Coast Guard after us. – I’ll lower a boat. (engine rumbling) – Look! It’s Monk, Zorka’s assistant. What’s he want? – We’ll soon find out. Tell him to come aboard,
but watch out for tricks. – Come aboard, Monk,
we’ll throw you a line. – Now what? – [Zorka] Do as he says, but let me get up
the ladder first. – Who’s he talking to? – Himself, I guess. He’s a kind of a
nut, like Zorka. – Look! – At what? – A shadow. – What of it? – There was no one
there to make it. – You’re drunk. – What are you doing here, Monk? – I came to make a deal. Dr. Zorka– – Never mind Dr. Zorka now. How did you know
about this ship? How’d you know
that we were here? – I didn’t, but I knew
the meteorite was here. This little instrument
will guide me to wherever it’s hidden. – Meteorite. So that’s the source
of Zorka’s power. – Yeah, but the meteorite
is more dangerous than useful to you
without my help. – Your help? What about Zorka? – Dr. Zorka’s dead. – That’s a lie, Monk. Zorka’s masquerading
as Dr. Zane. We caught him with
you and locked you
both in his own vault. You escaped. – That’s right, we did escape. But Zorka only lived a
few hours afterwards. – Get this man, Baldwin. Oh, wait a minute. Can you prove that Zorka’s dead? – If you’ll come to
his house with me, I’ll not only prove he’s
dead but I’ll let you in to the secrets of his laboratory. – And what do you expect
to get out of this? – Protection first. Captain West is after me too. I also want a 50/50
split on the price Dr. Zorka’s element brings you. – You put a high
price on yourself. We’ll talk terms
after you make good your bluff about Zorka’s death. All right, bring the meteorite
and go show him Monk’s boat. (engine rumbling) – Any word from
Captain West, Perkins? – No sir, no one has called. – I think I’ll have another
look at Zorka’s laboratory. – Oughtn’t go there alone, sir. That house is dangerous. – If Captain West fails
to recover the meteorite, I’ve got to gather every
scrap of information I can about how to combat it. – But the danger. – The country is in danger. If Captain West calls,
tell him where I’ve gone. – Yes, sir. – Where’s Brown and the others? – They’ll be here
any minute now. – What’s the idea of
bringing the mob here? – I’m not taking
any chances, Monk. At the first sign of trickery, Brown and the boys
will know what to do. – I’m not a fool. I need your organization
as much as you need me. The guards are gone, they’re
with West at the harbor. Taking the box inside? – Yes, since we
can’t use the ship we’ll take it to
our mountain hideout by the night train from Denver. Lead the way and don’t
make any mistakes. (buzzing) (beeping) (high-pitched droning) – All right, Rankin,
put the case down and keep Monk covered. – Hey, what is this? I’m gonna show– – You’re going to
do as you’re told if you expect to get
out of here alive. I don’t believe
the doctor’s dead. I believe he’s hidden
somewhere in this house. – We’ve finally made it, chief. We had a little engine trouble. – All right, where’s Brown? – Outside watching. Now listen men, I want
this place searched. Tap every wall for secret panels and be prepared for
trouble at any minute. Zorka’s probably hidden here, perhaps watching us and
listening to what we’re saying. – Yeah, he might be right
in this room, invisible. Remember the shadow
Brown saw on the ship of the man who wasn’t there? – Oh forget that. Come on, search the place. – Any luck, sir? – No, they tricked us. (phone ringing) – Dr. Mallory’s office. Yes sir, he just came in. It’s for you, Captain. – Oh, thanks. Hello. – Yes, a mob of them, they… They went into Zorka’s place
not more than five minutes ago. – Yes, I’ll take care
of that, Dr. Mallory. I’ll have Daly and
his men pick you up. All right, goodbye. Daly and his men
will be right here, will you have them
pick up Dr. Mallory at Hill and Garland Road
and come right to Zorka’s? – What’s happened, Bob? – Nothing, you better stay here. You’ve been in
enough trouble today. – You can’t leave
me out of this, Bob. Anyway this is my car. – All rightm but you stay
out of Zorka’s house. (knocking) (buzzing) – look out, chief. The light hit him from the
other side of the room. – Stay where you are, Monk. – Get back from those walls. – Look out! (robot creaking) (guns firing) – Get out of the way! (beeping) (high-pitched droning) – Look1 (speaking indistinctly) – And they’ve got
the mystery box. (tires screeching) – We’re still being followed. – Step on it, Brown,
there’s the train. (train chugging) – They’re heading into
the station at Jandberg. (train whistle blowing) – If they get that
train, we’ll lose them. (train rumbling) – We’re going to make it. (speaking indistinctly) Ralph, you hop aboard
that train and make sure that West sees that
you get aboard. – All aboard! (clicking) (train chugging) (train whistle blowing) (train chugging) – All right you, where’s
the rest of your mob? – I don’t know what
you’re driving at, mister. (clicking) – Hey you, no one’s
allowed in this tower. – I am sorry, it is necessary to stop the train
on this siding. – Ah, that’s impossible. The train can be stopped. – Very well, then I must
throw the switch myself. Don’t move. – Don’t pull that
switch, it’s the derail. – Then show me the
right one, my friend. And be quick about it. – All right, I’ll pull it. (train whistle blowing) – Where are the two with the
suitcase, are they up front? – If they are,
you won’t find ’em because you’re not
going any further. (train chugging) (train whistle blowing) (passengers exclaiming) (crashing) (dramatic music) (cheerful music) (wind whistling) (shivering) (sneezing) (nose blowing) (train whistle blowing) – Here it comes. (train chugging) (somber music) (train whistle blowing
“Shave and a Haircut”) (chattering) – Taxi, taxi cab. (chatteriing) (engine puttering) (whistle tooting) (doors creaking) (chattering)
– Come on, give us some money. – Oh! – Hey, Tom. – D-d-don’t, Jerry. Oh no. (eerie humming) (cheerful music) (frightened whimpering) (drums beating) (screaming) (slide whistle tooting) (clicking) (laughing) (lively piano music) (bones clicking) (spooky music) (whimpering) (approving hums) – Uh-oh. (laughing) uh-oh.
– Huh!? (screaming) Oh! (upbeat music) – Well that was a pretty
great cartoon and… Well, not so great, another
episode of The Phantom Creeps. It ended with a train crash. Always some kinda train crash. – It is funny that you
should say train crash, boss. The movie I dug up is all about scary, mysterious
happenings on a train. – Oh really, what’s it called? – It’s called The
Horror Express. – Ah, Horror Express, yes,
I’m familiar with this one. It’s a 1972 British-Spanish
co-production that’s most notable
for its two stars, Hammer film icons Christopher
Lee and Peter Cushing. Now this time they play a
pair of rival scientists who must come together to
deal with an evil force unleashed on a train as
they travel across Asia. Now this low-budget
film was shot in Spain. As many films were at the time,
it was shot without sound. Lee and Cushing had to loop
all of their dialogue later for the English-language release and be on the lookout
for a third familiar face in this film, TV’s Kojak,
actor Telly Savalas as a nasty, nasty, nasty
Russian Cossack officer. This film is the second to
be based on the short story Who Goes There, by author
John W. Campbell, Jr. The first was the classic
Howard Hawks picture, The Thing From Another World,
which director John Carpenter would later remake
as The Thing in 1982. So sit back, relax, and get
ready for Horror Express here on Nightmare Theatre (Train whistling) (Train whistling)The following report to the
Royal Geological Society
by the undersigned,
Alexander Saxton, is a
true and faithful account
of events that befell the
Society’s expedition in
As the leader of the expedition,I must accept responsibility
for its ending in disaster.
But I will leave to the judgment
of the honourable members
the decision as to where the
blame for the catastrophe lies.
(Man whistling) (Wind whistling) (Train whistle) – I’m sorry, there isn’t
a seat left. – My name is
Saxton, Alexander Saxton. If you will check, you
will find the telegram I
sent you three weeks ago instructing you to
reserve accommodation. – (Phone ringing)
– There’s nothing I can do. Hello? Yes. Well, well, look who’s here.
Professor Saxton, I presume? – Doctor Wells. – And what
are you doing in Shanghai? – I might ask you the
same thing. – I’m just
collecting a few specimens. Miss Jones, let me introduce
Professor Alexander Saxton. He dabbles in fossils and bones. Glad to meet you, Professor. Miss Jones has been
assisting me. Bacteriology,
excellent technician. (Chuckles) For a
woman, he means. (Speaks Chinese) Excuse me. Two private compartments
to Moscow, if you please. – Two, you say? Will
that be all? – And
three crates of animals. – Impossible. – I know I’m
asking you to perform miracles. But perhaps this will help. Thank you. It’s called “squeeze” in China.
The Americans call it know-how. And in Britain, we call
it bribery and corruption. Now, sir, excuse me. You! Get out! Halt! Sir Alexander Saxton? – Yes.
– Captain 0’Hagan, sir. General Wang told me to find you
and to make myself useful. Um… um… now I remember! I do
have Your Excellency’s ticket. – Your… your ticket,
right here. – Thank you. (Chanting) And the Lord have
mercy on his soul. Not that he deserves
it, the dirty thief!
You have his things? – You knew him?
– Krasinsky, the locksmith? He could open any
trunk with a hair pin. A thief? But he was blind! Blind? He could spot the
police well a mile away. I’ll be dammed. The work of the devil! Can I be of any
assistance, Father? – This is yours? – It is,
but I demand an explanation. Whatever you have here is unholy
and must be destroyed. Inspector Mirov.
What is in there, Excellency? Fossils. What is a fossil? A stone. Stones? There wouldn’t be something
valuable in there like gold? Gold?! It’s a
laboratory specimen. No value to a thief. Where there is God… there is always a
place for the cross. Even on this stone
floor, just so. But Satan is evil and
where evil is, there is
no place for the cross! – Rubbish! A conjurer’s
trick. Captain. – Yes, sir. You get your men to put
the crate on the train. Ready? Lift it up. 0ff you go. (Bells tolling) – Where is crate C?
– It’s over there, sir. Oh, yeah. Come on. Be careful with this one. Follow me! (Snarling) (Engine whistling) What are you going to
astound the scientific
world with this time? You’ll read about it
in the Society’s annual report. – It’s a remarkable fossil.
– Fossil? But you’ve got something
live. I heard it. – You’re mistaken. – You
won’t need to feed it, then? The occupant hasn’t eaten
in two million years. That’s one way to
economise on food bills. Baggage man. – Alinka, what’s the matter
with you? – Yes, Countess? – You have a safe for
valuables? – Yes, Countess.
I shall make out a receipt. Excuse me. Alinka’s afraid of something.
What do you have in that crate? Oh, nothing that would
interest Alinka, Madame. Normally she likes Englishmen. – All we Poles do.
– I am honoured, Madame. Oh, yes, England. Queen
Victoria, crumpets, Shakespeare. I admire Poland, Madame,
I believe that there is a
bond between our countries. My husband, the Count Petrovski,
says that in the 15th century your King Henry
betrayed us to the Russians, hm? I hope you and your husband will
accept my profoundest apologies. She’s really afraid. I wonder what it is. May I escort you back to
your carriage, Madame? (Train whistle) Yours? Oh, thank you. Excuse me. Yes? I was on the platform
before, when that mad
monk was carrying on. – Yes?
– I’m an engineer, a scientist. And this is ordinary chalk. How do you explained it
not writing on that crate? Hypnosis. Yoga. These mystics can be very
convincing. They can even
hypnotise themselves. The fresh food we will pick up,
who will pay for it, sir? Hmm? Oh, just keep an account
of how much you spend. Er… lf… um… someone were
to drill a little hole in
this crate during the night and take a look at what’s
inside, I’d be very grateful. (Guard) That’s in order. Help me. In what way, Madam? – Is this number 8? – That’s
next door, Wells’ compartment. There, there, don’t cry. Everything will be all right. Excuse me. Sorry, dear fellow, I’m afraid
you’re in the wrong pew.
Here, number 8, do you see? 8A, lower berth. 8B, upper berth. Don’t worry. I was supposed to
have this compartment to myself. – If you don’t mind.
– Sorry if I’m in your way. Excuse me, I have no ticket and
I have to get out of Shanghai. – I’m sure I can make it
worth your while. – The
young lady’s in trouble. What do you suggest
we do about it? – Couldn’t you double up with
somebody else? – Miss Jones? I’m sure we can all get along
very well together. (Man whistles tunefully) (Clinking) (Key drops on floor,
padlock rattling) (Tuneful whistling) (Whistling) – Boy, it has been such
a long day of cleaning up and sweeping up
around this place. I don’t know how one
werewolf can shed so much. And if I have to pick
up one more soda can… Oh look, a woman’s magazine. Who knew Meredith
Baxter-Birney had such a beautiful home? What does your star sign say
about your choice in footwear? I gotta take this quiz. Oh, what– What the heck? Oh sorry, Mr.
Microphone was off. Thank you for catching that. Why don’t you folks get
back to The Horror Express here on Nightmare Theatre. (Train whistle) (Distant door opening) You wish to see us? I thought one of you
might know what happened
to the baggage man. – I haven’t the remotest idea.
– What about you? Perhaps it had something to do
with what’s in that crate. I agree with you. He
was trying to open it
when something happened. What?! – Fortunately, he was
interrupted. – Yes. By whom? Why are you so worried
about it being opened? It may be my fault. I asked
the baggage man to take
a look. I was curious. It was no concern of yours. Or of yours. Goodnight. One man dead, another missing.
It’s time we opened this box. You’ll do no such thing! Give me the key. Konev, see if you can
open the crate with that. Go ahead! My God… it’s the baggage man. – What was in there?!
– I told you, a fossil. Part ape, part man.
It lived two million years ago. Are you telling me that an ape
that lived two million years ago got out of that crate,
killed the baggage man
and put him in there, then locked everything up
neat and tidy and got away? – Yes, I am! It’s alive,
it must be! – Lock him up. We’ll search the train
and find it, whatever
it is, and destroy it. – But if it’s alive…
– I want this kept quiet! I don’t want to
panic the passengers. (Muffled scream) My glass is empty. Oh, forgive me, my
mind was elsewhere. What is it? I’m sorry, I can’t tell you. – Good evening.
– Good evening. Good evening. Haven’t we met? I don’t believe so. Yes, at the Governor’s
palace. General Wang. You’re mistaken. 0f course. I beg your pardon.
It was somebody else. What’s the matter? The eye of that
fish, it’s white. Naturally, it’s boiled. Boiled… yes. – Is it true you’re a
doctor? – Ask me when
I’ve finished my dinner. – It’s urgent.
– What are the symptoms? He’s dead, you saw him.
– Oh, that one. There’s nothing
I can do for him. Now there’s one more dead. One
of my soldiers, same white eyes. – I want to know the cause
of death. – Who’s dead? Keep your nose out of it!
You didn’t hear anything. Excuse me. Is Professor Saxton’s
fossil still at large? I think the fossil or
whatever it is escaped,
jumped off the train. – Miss Jones, I shall need your
assistance. – Yes, well, at
your age, I’m not surprised. – With an autopsy!
– Oh, well, that’s different. Don’t get up, please. I see you have decided to
dine alone, Sir Alexander. I’ve eaten in worse
circumstances and
in worse company. Handsaw. Here you are, Doctor. You’re in bad humour because
you’ve lost your box of bones. That “box of bones”, Madame,
could have solved many of
the riddles of science. If the theory of evolution
is confirmed, if the science
of biology is revolutionised, if the very origin of
man is determined… I have heard of evolution,
it’s… it’s immoral. It’s a fact… and there’s
no morality in a fact. And what about the
baggage man and that poor
thief at the station? – What about them?
– They are dead. Was your creature
responsible for that? Probably. And you don’t care? A baggage man and a thief? You’re right, Madame, I don’t care as
much as I should. Can you tell me how he died? Smooth as a baby’s
bottom. You saw this man
today and he was normal? – Absolutely. – It must be a
mutation, a freak of nature. What’s so special
about this brain? Learning and memory are
engraved on the normal brain, leaving a wrinkled surface. This brain has been drained,
the memory has been removed like chalk erased
from a blackboard. – (Knocking)
– Come in. Thank you. It’s all yours. I won’t be long. Miss? It’s Doctor Wells. Miss, are you all right? Miss, are you there? (Gunshot) (Creature growling) (Snarling) (Gunshot) (Knocking) Come in. Feeling better? Yes. Anything wrong? That woman who was killed
– the engineer, you
know, the chess player, he told me that she was
an international spy. – Yes, I know.
– Oh, you do? Well, could that fact have had
anything to do with her death? What do you think? Doctor Wells and I performed
an autopsy on her. Her brain was completely smooth,
just like the baggage man’s. Everything had been erased.
I have a theory about this. I’m only a policeman, Professor,
I don’t have much education. Well, I’ll make it simple. Supposing that creature,
the one you killed, was capable of taking
ideas directly from
other people’s brains and transferring
them to its own. – You mean it sucked
other people’s brains? –
Absorbed, through the eyes. That was our first clue.
The eyes going white. Then if the beast had
absorbed your brains, all of your education
would have gone into its brain. It would have been
as clever as you. Much more so because
what it had taken from me would have been added to the
learning that it already had. Professor, spy,
baggage man, thief. What was the
creature looking for? Well, that we’ll never know
now that it’s dead and yet… What? A creature like that… how would it ever die? – Inspector?
– What is it? I found this. The animal had it. – (Saxton) The animal had it?
– Give it to me! – It belonged to Count
Petrovski. – How do you know? I saw him put it in the safe. Steel – harder than
a diamond. That’s why
the spies are after it. The French, German, English.
But they are wasting their time. What really matters
is the formula and that, gentleman,
is safe… up here. What happened to
the girl? The spy. She’s dead. The fossil or
whatever it was killed her. – But there’s no more danger.
– The beast is not dead. I put four bullets into him. You think evil can be
killed with bullets? Satan lives. The unholy one… is among us! Oh, Shalom, Shalom,
Shalom. Oh, Shalom. (thunder crashing) (funky rock music) – You know, he’s a ladies man– – All right, Federation scum. – Then he runs into
Charro on the Love Boat. – You have no honor. – She’s the guest
star that week. – Whoa-ho-ho! – That’s when the
sparks started to fly. – That was a great
episode, I bet. – Wait, we don’t– Hey, hey. Just put it down, pal. – It’s okay, it’s not loaded. – Not loaded. – Hello everyone
and welcome back. We’re here with the
mysterious Curator, who of course resides down
here in the sub-sub-sub sub-basement here
at the station. He’s part of the
Merrill Movie Museum, and he’s got amazing
props from your favorite TV shows and movies,
and I think this week we’re gonna actually
talk about something from one of the most iconic
franchises of all time. What do we have here
today, Nr. Curator? – Well, these are all
examples of fine workmanship from the Klingon
Empire, throughout the
Star Trek franchise. We have a mining mask
and a pair of manacles that were used on the
planet Rura Penthe in Star Trek VI: The
Undiscovered Country. A very interesting thing
about that, those were of course, a prison
mining colony and– – I’ve been in one of
those, it is not as much fun as you might think it would be. – Well, they did
have Iman there, so there was that at least, but
these manacles in particular, these were the manacles
that the Klingons would place on their prisoners. These particular manacles
were on the wrists of Dr. McCoy himself,
DeForest Kelley. – Now Sapo, you’ve
had manacles on. – Oh, I have. Yes, I have, it is not
fun believe you me. – Definitely back
in Tijuana days. – [Sapo] Tijuana days, yes sir. – And the mining helmet, that was also used in the
film ’cause there’s a whole plot in this film where, it’s
the captain and Dr. McCoy are sent to this planet
as kind of a punishment. They’ve been framed for
a murder of Klingons and they’re sent to this planet, so was this actually
used in the film that you could actually see it and
it’s part of the background? – Yes, we have several
items from that movie, from the Rura Penthe colony,
so these are just a few of them but yeah, all of them
were used on-screen, either used by background
actors or in the case of the manacles, actually used
by one of the lead actors. – Yeah, by DeForest Kelley. That’s kind of amazing. And really an iconic actor. So what about this piece? Now this piece
obviously looks like it’s a little bit newer. – Yeah, this is from the
modern Star Trek movies the reboot that was
started by J.J. Abrams. So this is also
a Klingon weapon. This is a Klingon phaser rifle, and it actually does light up. – Wow. And again, so there’s a
whole industry in Hollywood that, this is what they do. – Right, yes. There would have been a
whole staff that would have built these imaginary weapons. There would be some
kind of concept artist that would design them,
and then they would go to the people that are
responsible for building them. They have to find out a way to
make them three-dimensional, make them work, make
them usable and sometimes make them just good enough
to be seen from a distance but other times to
be seen close-up or to even be used in
stunts, so you might have the same weapon where you have five or six different
versions of it. One of them is big, heavy
metal, detailed for close-ups. Another one is a lighter one
for the actor to tote around and be able to look
heroic without giving
themself a hernia. Another one might be made
of rubber, so in case you needed to use ut to
bash somebody in the face, you’re not gonna actually
knock their teeth out or anything like that. – I mean it’s okay, if you
need to knock Sapo’s teeth out for a demonstration,
we’re fine with that. – I have a question though, do
the keys come with this one? ‘Cause I’m stuck, fellas.
– No, no. – I’m stuck. (sighing) – Well, I guess, thank
you again Curator. This has been elightining
and while we try to get this moron out
of these cuffs, why don’t you folks
get back to the movie here on Nightmare Theatre. Specimen jar. – What do you expect to find in
the eye fluid? – I don’t know. – Why, this is incredible.
– What? It’s the last thing
the creature saw! – The police inspector.
– The image has been
retained in the fluid. Exactly. The creature’s visual
memory is located not in its
brain but in the eye itself. Can you identify anything? It’s a brontosaurus! A pterodactyl. (Train whistle) (Saxton) Incredible. This is not a map. (Saxton) It can only be
the Earth seen from space. I hope I’m not intruding.
People on the train are
becoming afraid, Professor. People on long journeys
become bored, Madame.
They crave excitement. – Then there’s no more danger?
– It’s all finished. And what about your
science? The evolution
you were talking about? Look for yourself. Come here, Pujardov. There’s something
I want to show you. Look. (Russian) It is the Holy Writ. On the second day,
he created the earth. Where did you get it? There, from the creature’s eye. – The eye of Satan!
– Nonsense. There’s a
scientific explanation. Do you know it? No. Not yet. Before the fall, before
Satan was banished
from the throne of God, the Evil One looked down
from heaven and did see… Rubbish! Pujardov! – Pujardov? Where is he?
– I don’t know. He’s gone mad. – I’ll look in the baggage car.
– Right. – Looking for the thief, Miss
Jones? – You know about it. What’s all the fuss? You get back that eye
and there’s a thousand
roubles in it for you. A thousand rubbles for an eye? There’s something in it. – Pictures.
– Pictures of what? Pictures of the earth in
prehistoric times. Pictures
of the earth seen from space. Who else has seen such pictures? Dr Wells, Professor Saxton
and that pretty Countess. I see. Have pity, have pity. Are you going to kill me? Fool. There’s nothing
in your head of any use. Another killing. – (Man) Stop the train!
I want to get off! –
(Woman) There’s no law! Quiet! There’s been talk
about getting off the train. – Well, you can forget
it. – I’ll complain
to the authorities. – I’m not one of your muzhiks!
– I’ll shoot anyone who
tries to stop the train. Shoot?! Shoot?!
You stupid Russian!Who else has seen such pictures?Dr Wells…Professor Saxton…– and that pretty Countess.Wells, Saxton,■Countess.
Wells, Saxton, Countess.
Wells, is this
creature dead or not? If it is, who killed Miss Jones? – Do you have any idea?
– No, Inspector, I haven’t. I’ve asked the conductor
to wire ahead to stop
at the next station. What’s the idea? Tell me who you are. Tell me. I will serve you. I want to help you. It’s like some
contagious disease. Well, if there’s a disease,
there must be symptoms. – Fever? – You could take
everyone’s temperature. The eyes, why do
their eyes go white? – Ah, Inspector, there’s only
you now. – What about me? Your eyes. We must
examine your eyes, too. Certainly. Perhaps you should
test for radiation or
other invisible rays. X-rays? Well it’s a
thought, but on this train
how would we go about it? – Are you a scientist?
– An engineer, but I try
to keep up with things. That’s to be admired. Inspector, I suggest you
tell all these people to stay
together, in groups or in pairs, so that if anything does
happen to anybody, then
somebody can raise the alarm. On no account must
anybody be left alone. (Engine whistle) (Ringing) News of the train. The train will be
here in exactly… um… 14 minutes. (Man) 14 minutes? Yes, Your Honour, that’s
what it says here. Doesn’t say it in words,
Your Honour, but in code.
It’s like another language. I know about
telegraph, Little Papa. I know about trains, I know
about electrical currents. On your feet, everybody! Outside, full pack! Even though I still believe
in God, I don’t like to be
made a fool of! No, Your Honour. I wouldn’t do that. Tell me, Little Father… do you believe in the devil? Yes, your honor. Ah, good, send a telegram. Tell them that Captain Kazan, he knows that a horses has
four legs, he knows that
a murderer has two arms, but still the devil… must be afraid of one
honest Cossack, hm? – You know boss, I’m
the first to admit that I haven’t seen as
many films as you have. I mostly watch Tim
Conway and Don Knotts and the Olsen Twins movie,
but I’m really impressed with how this movie
mixed horror with travel. – Wow, that’s a
shockingly astute observation for you, El Sapo. I didn’t think you
had such awareness. – Thanks, boss. I think. – Well there are
actually a lot of films that mingle terror
and transportation. There’s Terror Train,
Christine, Maximum Overdrive, Snakes on a Plane. – Thomas the Tank Engine. – [Baron Mondo] That’s
a children’s show, Sapo. – Have you ever watched it? – Okay, point taken. – Anyway boss, it
got me to thinkin’. What transportation-based
horror films are still out there
for the taking? How about Bus of Doom, or The
Little Train that Massacred? – You know, you could
be on to something here. What about The Phantom Bicycle? – Terror Trolley. – Rickshaw Ride to Hades! – The Tram that WOuldn’t Die. – Satan’s Scooter, in 4D! – The Airplane that Ate Anaheim! (sighing) – On second thought, let’s
leave this to the professionals. Why don’t you folks get
back to Horror Express here on Nightmare Theatre. Earth’s gravity, you
know how to measure it? How to measure gravity? What I would like to know is
can gravity be overcome? If you mean, can man get
beyond the gravitational
field of the earth into space, not yet, but any day now. Someday? There is a mathematics
professor, his
name is Chelkovsky. He has ideas about rockets,
machines that can fly free
of the earth’s gravity. You know him? Chelkovsky was one of
my teachers, he was
like a father to me. But why would a man
like you be interest… What do you think is behind
all this, Excellency? Look at this. That’s what
we saw under the microscope. – Shows the Earth as it
might look from space.
– What does it mean? It means that millions
of years ago something,
some form of intelligence, came to the Earth
from another planet. The atmosphere of the earth
was new to it, different. – But it learnt how to survive.
– How? By entering into the body and
brain of an Earth creature. The fossil that I found
and brought with me. And this thing from another
planet survived in the fossil? – Then came to life again?
– Exactly. Go on, Professor. The animal that you shot
was only the host and,
when that animal died, the alien intelligence
transferred somehow
to another host. It’s alive… in
someone on this train. You’re a very good detective. You’ve discovered everything
except who is now the host. – That’s our next
step. – Thought this
might come in handy. – Oh, good idea. – Two of
you together, that’s fine. – But what if one of you
is the monster? – Monster?
We’re British, you know. But you must have
seen something. I told you, I was asleep. He knew about the
white eyes, he told me. When you fell asleep, the lights
were on? And when you woke up? – They were off.
– Are you sure? Positive. It was dark. I put
the lights on. And that’s
when I found him… beside me. When we did the test,
the lights were on. Master! Inspector. This steel at high temperatures,
what happens to it? It gets stronger.
What temperatures, for example? Ten or twelve thousand degrees. Where on earth would you
get such temperatures? Nowhere on Earth. (Brakes screeching) The Tsar will hear of this!
I’ll have you sent to Siberia! I am in Siberia. This is Countess Irina Petrovska
and I am Count Maryan Petrovski. Oh, Your Excellencies,
I am sorry. 0f course, the Count
and Countess are
exempt from our orders. Please, escort
them to their car. Peasants. Peasants! Are you a Countess? I’m an American and I’m
not accustomed to being
bullied by foreigners. That man, he’s the one who
wouldn’t let us get off the
train, he’s responsible. – Your Excellency, I am a
Police Inspector.
– Everybody is under arrest! Including you. Who are the killers?
Who? Who are the trouble-makers? Who are the foreign
influences, huh? Who?! Don’t worry, I’ll
smoke them out. What’s he raving about? – You English believe in free
speech, huh? – Certainly. If instead of babbling
nonsense, you’d investigate
this properly… This is outrageous! So… you are a
police inspector, huh? Yes, Captain. Mirov is my name. Mirov? Oh, Mirov! That’s a good
Russian name, Mirov. Tell me, Mirov, what do you
know about all the filth
that’s going on here, huh? – Filth? – Certainly you
know what I’m doing here. You just point out the
suspects and I promise you I’ll
get the truth out of them. You’re mistaken, sir. – Mistaken?
– Fool! Get back, get back! Back! 0r I will put a
curse on your heads! He has the evil eye! Beware of the wrath of Satan! Fool, huh? On your knees, monk. We must stop this. – He was trying to protect
you, why? – He’s mad. – Who are you?
– I told you, a policeman. No! No! You saw his eyes! One look
at them and you’re dead! Come into me, Satan! Thine is the kingdom and
the power and the glory! Thy will be done on
earth as it is in hell. Now, anything! Anything that
moves near that door, kill it! – But what if the monk
is innocent? – Ah, we got
lots of innocent monks! All right, let’s move these
peasants out of here! Quickly! There! He always kills in the
dark, he can’t play his
tricks in a strong light. – Take care of the others.
– What about you? – I’ll be all right, go on.
– Well, you take this. (Train whistle) You know, in spite of
everything, Pujardov had a
certain affection for you. Yet you humiliated often,
even in front of the Countess. (Sobbing) He’s dead. You killed him! If you want to kill
Pujardov, it’s too late. – I’ll see you hanged!
– Ah, poor monk. He loved you more than he
loved the promise of heaven. 0ver there, quickly, over there!
Irina, behind me. It would be a
mistake to kill me. – Who are you?
– In words, it’s difficult. I am a form of energy
occupying this shell. – Where do you come from?
– Another galaxy. I came with others like myself. I was left behind. An accident. I survived in protozoans,
fish, vertebrates. The history of your
planet is part of me. Pull the trigger
and you will end it. What am I to do with you? – Let me go.
– That’s not possible. It is possible. I will teach you to end
disease, pain, hunger. Wait! There is something more. – Saxton!
– (Gunshot) Go! Yahhhh! (Irina screaming) Let me go! Oh, no! (Shrieking) (Train whistle) Saxton, thank God! Stand back, please, make room. Moscow says to stop the
Express when it goes
through the switching point. Derail it? That means
killing everybody on board! That’s what it says. Maybe there’s a
war. Maybe it’s war. (Screaming) (Eerie whistling) – Boom, now that’s
how you end a movie. With a big explosion
and a sky full of smoke. – You know, I kinda feel
bad for that alien, though. He wasn’t such a bad
guy, just misunderstood. – Didn’t he kill half
the people in the movie? – I guess there is
that, but still. Anyway, we survived
another movie. What are we showing
next time, Sapo? – The next film is a deep
dive sociological study of how female white
Anglo-Saxon Protestants have shaped American culture. – What? – Yep, our next movie
is The Wasp Woman. – Ah, I can see where
you might be confused but The Wasp Woman is actually
a 1959 Roger Corman cheapie about a woman who
abuses beauty products and turns into a bug. It’s very Kafka-esque. Let’s take a quick peek. (dramatic music) – Supposing a more powerful
form of royal jelly could be obtained? From the queen
wasp, for example. – Socially, the queen
wasp is on a level with the black widow spider. (dramatic music) (screaming) – Are you sure that’s
the movie, boss? I could have sworn there was
a Howard Zinn interview in it. – Sorry Sapo, there’s no Ivy
League claptrap to be had here. Anyway, until next time, may
all your dreams be nightmares. (funky rock music)

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