Jingle Ballin’

[YouTube Red Original Series] [♪music♪]
[ Happy Holla Days] Happy Holidays Happy Kwanzaa Days Happy Hanukk-ay That’s not how you say it Oh, well Merry
frickin’ Christmas! [♪music♪] Uh, uh [♪music♪] Grunting, grunting [♪music♪] Uh, uh Just to let you know,
I’m about to start crumping [♪music♪] Happy Kwanzaa Day It’s your girl Liza,
coming at ya from L.A. I’m super YouTube famous How many subs?>>1k Started from the bottom,
and I’m still stuck here, But I’m riding through L.A. on the back of a reindeer [♪music♪] Sexy So sexual Man I got say that
I miss that White Christmas no pine trees or snow so what is this? [♪music♪] It’s sugar>>ooh Gingerbread cookies
I know are probably ready can’t wait to be at home when me, mommy and daddy saw him saying Merry Christmas
to the hoe, hoe, hoes If you’re naughty or you’re nice bend over touch your toes I’m bout to crump again Wooo! [♪music♪] Uh, uh I’m still crumping, crumping Uh, uh
[yeehaw] Now I’m dumping, dumping Uh [laughter] [♪music♪]
[ Jingle Ballin’] $25 for a checked bag?! [laughter] I don’t think so. Yeah, I’m gonna wear everything
I own if I have to. [computer ringing] Mom, Dad, guess
who’s all packed? Don’t guess, it’s me. Liza, can you hear us? Why do you sound like you’re in
an exciting place? We’re about to board our cruise. And I’m drunk! Cruise? What — what cruise? The cruise, remember? I emailed you about it
on alternating Monday, since August with increasingly
clear subject lines. [♪music♪] Okay, wait, Mom, remind me
what the deal is with this cruise, that I totally read
your emails about. We figured this’ll be
our first Christmas we can enjoy without you since you’re off living
your fancy internet life, with your super internet
famous cousin, Traz. Right, of course. Oh no, you’re wearing sweaters. Honey, did you think
you were coming home? No! No, no, no, no, no. No. I have — I have plans. I was calling you guys
to tell you about all my plans. [laughter] Hey, we called you. Right. All aboard the
Christmas Couples Cruise to Sexual Intercourse Island. What — What did he just say? Okay, honey. We love you! Say “hi” to your
prickless roommate, Deb! Oh, yeah, hi baby! Yeah, great, go. I’ll just be here, [call ending noise] alone on Christmas. [♪music♪] Yo, Liza. I’m screwed. Okay, yeah, sure Traz,
just roll on in. Have you seen this milk bucket
challenge for children’s safety? What do milk and
children’s safety have to do with each other? That’s not the point. What’s the one thing
you know about me that no one can find out? Your advice is the reason
why a lot of teen girls and boys
are pregnant? Yo, yo, yo. What up? It’s your boy Traz and today, we’re gonna show you
how to take some common household products
right from your kitchen, to make some DIY contraceptive. Worked for me. The point is, I’m mad
crazy allergic to milk. So? So? If I drink milk,
I’ll explode. Literally. Probably. Wha — I can’t do
this challenge, and my followers
are gonna hate me. Why don’t you just drink
rice milk or soy milk? People can tell when
it doesn’t come from an utter. It looks all, like,
weird and watery. Ew. I know what I’ll do, I’ll just ignore it
and it’ll go away. Well, you know
what else went away? My parents. On some kind of
Christmas Sex Cruise. Dope. That’s not dope. Hey, maybe we can hang. Let me check the calendar, cuz. Impressive. Looks like I can fit you in
from 9:36PM to 9:41PM. [ding] Oh wait, Kylie Jenner
just invited me to her party. Last year, she gave
everybody reindeer. Mine died. Well, at least Deb’s
always around. Right, Deb? Actually,
>>Woah, dang, son. I didn’t even see you there. Are all your clothes that beige? Well, I do own a pair of
olive green slacks, but I’m not a slut anymore. Anywho, Christmas Eve, I’ve been asked to
deliver the big speech at the Insurance
Adjuster’s Ball. Pretty Huge. Wanna hear my speech? Oh, yeah. Here’s what I’ve got so far. Nothing. I’ve written nothing. Ugh, son of a biscuit. Liza, do you think you could
help me with the speech? Yeah, sure.
I’m good at speaking. I’ve been speaking
since I was like 7. Oh, wait a second. Guys, am I gonna spend
Christmas alone? This is like 2003
all over again. [♪music♪] We’re late
for the airport.>>I know. Did you forget anything?
>>Nothing that matters. [screaming] Ahhhhhh! So what, you’re worried
about the exact plot of ‘Home Alone’ happening
to you, again? I wish it was the exact plot. I got straight up robbed
by those guys. There’s no way
I’m letting that happen again. Hey guys! It’s your girl Liza and I talk to myself a lot. Because I’m lonely. I-I-I moved to L.A.
a couple of months ago and do I have friends? About, this many. I was so excited to go home
for Christmas, but my parents actually
ditched me to go on a cruise, and now I’m alone. This is depressing. I am not posting this,
what am I even doing? I know. I’ll throw a party! [♪music♪] Hey girl, long time no talk. Well, what are you doing
tomorrow night? on Christmas? Oh, you’re with your family? On the Holidays? That’s a weird tradition. Well I’m having a party
tomorrow night, love to see you there. It’s me, Liza. You favorited a tweet of mine. Like three years ago. Who wants to be alone? Not me. That’s why I’m inviting you
to my actual, personal home,
for a Christmas party you’ll never forget. Be there! [laughter] Yo, cuz. Everybody’s tweeting
about your party. How many people did you invite? Anyone who saw my video. Wait, they’re all strangers. Who’d you think they’d be? That’s not good. Ugh. [keyboard noise] [♪music♪] Home.
Automotive. Dental. When you need
any type of insurance, count on a company
you can trust. Insuranceadjustersinc.com because you know
you need insurance. But, do you have it? Exactly. Hey, guys. It’s me, iBrowseEyebrows. Today, I will be doing
the milk bucket challenge for children’s safety. It’s a brand new social
media challenge, raising awareness
about children, in unsafe situations. I’m really passionate
about children and their safety. [milk being poured] For the children. [chugging] Ugh. [milk hitting the floor] It’s all for kids. If you believe
in children’s safety, I want you to go chug some milk. I’m calling out The Rock, Kevin Hart, Martha Stewart. Next, I nominate Traz, of Traz Living Lifestyle’s to complete the
milk bucket challenge for children’s safety,
by midnight. Drink up, Traz. Oh, come on. iBrowseEyebrows just tagged me
in the milk bucket challenge. You know iBrowseEyebrows? You can invite her to my party. Hell no, she’s like
my social media nemesis. Last year, at VidCon, she saw me not drinking milk, and she looked at me
like she knew. No.
>>Yeah. So? I know that you’re in
the potty training stages of internet stardom, so let me
school your little booty. The internet is like
the Wild Wild West. Ain’t no rules, and it’s swarming
with horse dick. Okay, I think you’re just
on some weird websites.>>Yeah. But you’re missing
the bigger picture here. My party needs to be filled
with YouTube stars, or at least somebody,
somewhat cool. [creaking] Do you hear a creaking sound?
[louder creaking] Oh, hey guys, I think somebody
left the door open. Um, I think you just opened it. I mean, I just came by
to drop off this pie. Okay, well, where is it? I like to party. What? Did you say, ‘party’? No. You did Colon. Well you guys were probably
talking about it before. About the party that
you’re planning tonight — anyway, I’d love to come. I’m sorry.
Did you just call him ‘Colon’ like that’s his name? Colin. C-O-L-I-N. Isn’t that how you spell Colin? You could. So, anyway, about the party
that you were planning to throw tonight,
which I’d love to come to. I could supply you
with ample entertainment. That’s very sweet of you
to offer, Colin, but it’s Christmas Eve. Don’t you have somewhere else
that you should be singing? Yeah, well unfortunately, the Chinese restaurant
I usually perform at has closed. Awww, what are
the Jews gonna do? That’s what I said. Well, actually we’re not even
sure if this party’s really happening, so. Liza, these party poppers
would be great for your party that’s for sure happening. So, we’ll let you know.>>Okay,
great. Cause I have no plans. Unless you’re inviting me
to come to the party right now, which I’d of course say, ‘yes’.
[laughter] I’m not, so…
>>Okay, well, uh, before I go, you know my address is 1996
Duver Street.>>Yes, it is. A lot of people think it’s
a boulevard, but it is not.>>Ooh. I know it’s a street
cause I live here and… Guess where I live?
>>Next door. I do! Apartment 2– [laughter]
>>Yep. Apartment 2. Duver, it’s close [laughter]
>>Apartment too close. You’re not inviting Colin? No, Deb. My party’s suppose
to be filled with a bunch of awesome people. Like, backup dancers
and front up dancers, and child models. Not Colins. Yeah Liza, everything about
this party needs to be on point. We need to redecorate. Re-deb-orate? No. Redecorate. Just get rid of everything
that’s carpet or some kind of bird. Really? I don’t think we need
to change anything. I hosted parties here, we puzzled. Yeah, sorry Deb. The internet has very specific,
dope tastes. And that won’t fly. Oh, come on. Some of this stuff is dope. How about my cockatoo book ends? These are fashion. No. This Oklahoma scented potpourri? Oh heck to the no. My great Nana Deb’s organ?
[♪music♪] Sounds like someone died. What about a poster
of Kanye West? Hmm. Made of dry macaroni
and hamster hair. No! Deb. Well, at least keep my carpet
covered rocking chair with matching ottoman. My boyfriend, Abel,
made it for me. Uh, your boyfriend? Yeah, Abel. My long-distance boyfriend
from Minnesota. Want to see a picture? Sure. [laughter] Okay, Deb. But look, there’s gonna be
a lot of people here, so, why don’t we just hide
everything of yours so it doesn’t get damaged? And we’ll start fresh with a blank slate. Okay. Great, so I have your approval? Let’s redecorate. Nah, cuzbro. Leave it to the Traztourage. [♪music♪] Well, I guess this could work. As long as you put everything
back like you found it. Hey, what about this for
an opening line? I just got here all the way
from Pasadena and boy are my arms tired… from holding this gun. Woooah. My god!
>>Wooah. Woah. Woah. Uh, why do you have a gun? For the speech. Is it too much? Yeah.
>>Yeah. Okay, okay. Don’t toss
your tomatoes. I’ll come up with
something else. Ugh. She keeps texting me like,>>Can’t wait to see you do
the milk bucket challenge, we know you love
for children to be safe. And it’s like, I do,
but I hate milk even more that I love children’s safety. Is that bad? Yeah. It’s not good. Shit.
>>Traz. iBrowseEyebrows. That’s not fair,
I don’t know your real name. How’s the challenge going? Milking it for all it’s worth,
dairy ask? Wait, what? Dare I ask. It’s a play on words
because milk. Oh. Aw, yeah, that’s —
that’s kind of clunky. Psst. The party. What? The party. Invite her
to the party.>>No, I’m not inviting her to — Okay, I don’t know what
you two weirdos are whispering about, but I got to go pick up
my mom from jail. Bye. You can stare at
her butt cheeks, but you can’t invite
her to the party? She would make it so cool. Liza, for the last time, I’m not inviting her
to your party. Okay, fine. Whatever. I just don’t want
my party to be filled with a bunch of randos. But, I have to feed them. So I need to go to the grocery
store and get some snacks. Come on. Can’t. It’s Traziday. And I’m contractually obligated
to upload a video. [Drink the milk!] Damn, these haters will not stop
[You suck Traz!] riding my D about the children’s
safety. [Drink or die yabitch!] I’m gonna go ride a D
to the grocery store. I don’t think you know
what that means. Still gonna ride it. [♪music♪] We all know the reason
we’re here tonight. Greg’s an alcoholic. Isn’t that right, black Greg? So leave a message, if you
still do that sort of thing. [beep] Hey Liza, this is
your roommate, Deb. Just wondering if you knew any
female genital mutilation jokes? Or male? [screaming] Ahhhh! Hey Liza, should I talk about
Fran’s early onset menopause? [laughter] Just wondering what
you thought of this. Hey Ffaces, why don’t you
go eat some F. Let me know. [crying] [phone ringing] Dang it, Deb, stop calling me. I’m trying to make
a video right now, woo. What’s up, guys? It’s Liza and welcome back
to my YouTube channel. Winter here in L.A. is so cool. And by cool, I mean, everyone’s
tanning in 98 degree weather, except for me cause
I’m already brown. You know what, I got to take
this hot pocket off. This works. Uh Let’s go. [♪music♪] Hey. Hey. Hey. Oh. Christmas Christmas Christmas,
uh, Christmas all the time. Just kidding, comes
once a year, I lied. Let’s go. Merry Christmas, a hoe huh hoe. Sleep in heavenly… [singing unintelligible] And here we are at
the store, Woo! You know, all of these
holidays jams are really getting me excited
for my party tonight. And, DJ Booth is gonna be there. Just kidding,
I’m not that relevant. But DJ Booth,
if you’re watching this, please, please come to my party. Please, please, please, please,
please, please, please. I don’t want to sound desperate and get on my knees and beg, but please, please, please,
please, please, please, please. To all you other party people, I can’t wait to jingle
my bells with you. Wait. I can’t wait to set
your chestnuts on fire. What? Alright, what I’m trying
to say is I can’t wait to kick it
with you ugh [laughter] Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Why on earth would you do that? You just kicked
a perfectly good box of Kix. Uh, I’m sorry. It’s just
something I do for the internet. Are you unwell? No. I — I’m a YouTuber. Is your mind broken? Are you a terrorist,
but for cereal? Someone assault you
and now you gotta assault us? The innocent people’s
of grocery city. No, no, no. No, I just do this
for strangers online. I’m sorry, I’ll —
I’ll clean it up. [hissing] That’s… normal. [phone ringing] Cousin Helga.
>>Hewwo. I’m at the grocery store
and I have no idea what kind of food to serve at my party.>>Oh, this is very easy. Ask for three baby koala’s and some whiskey. No, I don’t think
they have baby koala’s here.>>Oh, that is okay.
The full grown koala’s will do. No, Helga. They have
no live animals here.>>Okay, I know
the perfect thing. Just wait. Attention shoppers, this is
a holiday sale announcement, cereal is now two
for one in aisle four, courtesy that girl
who was an asshole. [loud music] Oh no. Please don’t make me
go into slow motion. Please don’t make me
go into slow motion. Please don’t go to slow motion. [♪music♪] All is calm, All is bright. Round yon virgin, mother and child. Holy infant so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace. Eat my ham! Yo, yo, yo. What up? It’s your boy capital
T-R-A-Z, coming to you on Traziday. Today’s tutorial is all
about giving your hair a blowjob. Like it’s constantly
blowing in the wind, get that look. So, first thing first [crashing] grab your mousse
>>Traz is a fraud! Woah.
>>Boycott Traz! Punk!
>>You’re a liar! You break into my house, I cut you! No!
>>Do the challenge, man! Go out the window you broke —
>>I used to love you! [crashing] Now I got to re-edit this
and clean up the glass. [♪music♪] Damnit. [door slamming] Fire! Fire! Oh my god, where?! Oh, that’s just
my arresting opening line. Wait, should it be
more arresting? You know Liza, you did say
you’d help me with this. Deb, I’ve got a lot on my mind, with this party — Did somebody say party? Woah, door’s open. The door was closed, Colin. Completely closed. Wow, the place looks different. What? No, no. It’s always
had snowflakes on the walls. What I mean is, I love it. Okay? I’ve been working on
a little parlor trick, so let me give you gals
a taste of the old Colin. Pick any card in the deck.
>>Oh. That’s weird. uh, k. K, don’t show it to me,
show it to everyone else. It’s just Deb. Okay, okay, alright.
Put it right back in the deck. Now, you will take the top card. And, eat it. What? Eat the card, Liza. Eat the card, Liza! Okay, uh… Yeah. Now, what? Well now we wait. For what? About seven or eight hours. Let the digestive system works
it’s course. What? Colin, I swallowed a card. I can’t. You have to leave. Well, okay, alright. Well,
you know,I could always sing a song cause I’m a great singer.
>>No. No. I can’t. Cause I love to sing
>>What? I love to sing.
>>Move your foot. Oh. See Deb, that’s what
I’m talking about. My party can’t have
my card tricks might kill you, by Colin. It’s gotta have, piss on my money by DJ Booth. Or have someone cool,
like iBrowseEyebrows. I don’t trust a man
who urinates on currency. But, why don’t you invite
iBrowseEyebrows? I’m not cool enough to do that. Traz would have to do that. Unless… Yo, what’s up?
It’s your boy, Traz. Yeah, I know your voice. How’s the challenge going? Oh, it’s going good. I’m a debut it tonight
at my cousin, Liza’s party. I think I heard
about that party, sounded so sad. It’s not sad. No, I mean, it’s not sad. Girl, come.
I’m a make you happy. Ugh, gotta go. That milk better be
from an utter. Liza, are you ready
to help me with my spee — Oh, Traz. When did you get here? Yo, what’s up? I’m a call audible
cause ain’t no way I can show my face with these
milk fascists crawling around. So I’m a hang here
with y’all tonight. Uh, what the f?
>>[scream] Oh my god! Traz, watch out.
It’s you from the future, here to kill you. Why you wearing’ my hat? And why you got a beard? Okay, so I may have
called iBrowseEyebrows and invited her to the party. You did what?! What part of don’t invite
my nemesis didn’t yo understand? Why do you even have a nemesis? You’re an adult human
man person. We understand. No, we don’t. First of all, don’t understand
why you have a disguise, to make a phone call. And how is it that you can run
around and try to impress a bunch of strangers, but you can’t take a second
to not be a terrible friend. Hey, that’s not fair. Why? Why isn’t that fair? Cause, it makes me feel sad. Well, it should
make you feel sad. And not even about me, I’ll be fine. But what about Deb? Uh, don’t fight. I’ll be fine. I’ll just start with
a 9/11 joke, a classic 9/11 joke. Yeah. That’ll kill. Let’s go, Deb. I don’t want to go to
the party of a fraud. Well, fine. I don’t want
you to go then. That’s my hat.
>>What? And I don’t even have a beard. Hey! [door slam]
I wasn’t done yelling! [♪music♪] Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug For children’s safety!
>>Wooo! Yeah [laughter] Hi, welcome on in. Want a small food item? No? Okay. I’ll ask later. Hey. Do you like me? Social acceptance. No? Alright. Oh my god. iBrowseEyebrows. You’re here! I’m sorry, do I know you? Oh, uh, I’m Liza, uh, Traz’s cousin. Oh, Lisa. Yes, um,
nice to meet you. So, where is Traz? I can’t wait to see him
fail at drinking dairy. I mean, do the
children’s safety challenge. He’s only got til midnight. Oh, well, I — [knock on door]
I’m sorry, have to get that. [baaah] What? What?
>>[baaah] [phone ringing] What? Wha — Hello? Hello, Liza. I’m so sorry
I could not make it, but I hope you like
my goat in a basket. Why would you send me this? It’s gonna ruin my party. For your party,
she is party animal. Her name is Buster. Goat Buster. Who you gonna call? Helga, who will give you Goat Buster. Okay, Helga,
I can’t do this right now. Bye. [phone click] [baah] Okay. Oh, come here. Come here.
>>[baah] [♪music♪]
[partygoers talking] Nothing to see here.
>>[baah] Just a purse. Nope, it’s not real fur. Excuse me. Come on. This party is off the rails. [baaah] Really off the rails. Okay, well this is
the part of the night where we roast our
fellow employees. Uh oh. [laughter] Don’t hold us
accountable for this. Yo, this party is off the rails. Yeah, a little too much
if you ask me. This is an Insurance
Adjuster’s Ball, not that RJ blowjob party
I once went to. Ew. Uh, so what’d you end up with
for that opening line? I came up with a real gem. Let me get my speech
and practice on you. Cool. I’ll be right here. This is for Janie, uh, play
Microsoft solitaire much? [laughter] Sorry. Okay, only
kidding.>>[laughter] Sam. [laughter] It’s off the record. Oh no. Where’s my speech? Ugh. [♪music♪] Hey! Hey! Uh, guys. I heard
there’s tiny bags of drugs, in the kitchen over there. Yeah, yeah, go get wild.
>>Perfect Hey. Hey, hey, hey. What you
got there? Hey.>>[baaah] Insert classic 9/11 joke. Deb forgot her speech. Ugh, I had it here somewhere. This is a skit we wrote about
>>Ugh our clients. I told you,
it’s really a good idea to get renter’s insurance, did you know that it would
have helped with that laptop theft? I didn’t do it. I had it here. Stay. Stay. What was all that lame stuff? Hey. That stuff’s not lame. That’s my friend Deb’s. [bang] He knows where
you’ve been sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows when
you’ve been on YouTube, begging you to come to
your party. So, shut the hell up
and pay attention. This is what you wanted. Ladies and gentle bitches, it’s DJ Booth. [cheering] I’ve been around the globe, looking for the best party
in the world! Ibiza, Berlin, Albany. And I found it,
right here in L.A.! [cheering] Well I’ve seen a lot of nice, but I’ve seen a lot of naughty. [cheering] In reverse, the second one. Who wants to get naughty? [cheering]
Me, me, me, me, me, me! Who’s party is this? I said, who’s party is this?! Hers! [cheering]
speech, speech, speech, speech! Um, I need to go fix my life. Cool. [♪music♪] Piss on my money [repeats] [cough, cough] [cough] Found my bird,
my hamster hair… She’s all of our favorite
>>Okay. Insurance Adjuster, but you
know her better as Debbie. Debbie, the stage is yours. [clapping] Come on, goat.
I need this milk fast. Faster, faster. Aw, this is starting to
feel really R-rated. [baaah]
>>Okay. Huh, I got it. Thanks Goat Buster. [♪music♪] Colin. Party? Hi. Colin. Would you like to
come sing at my party? You’re — you’re asking me
to be — to come to your to sing at your par — ? I should have
invited you sooner. I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ready to
sing at your party I’d love to [laughter]
>>Great. Gotta go. sing at your party! Um, um… Errrrr….. [plug pulled, high screeching] Yo, man what’s going on?! Alright all you millennials,
gather around. Fire up your twatter
and your snatchchat and get ready to post it. Boy, that — that is a —
that is a lot of cameras, there. Um, I’m gonna, I’m, I’m gonna I’m gonna make a bunny A rabbit, uh, appear. Hol, Hol, Hold on. I’m gonna, I’m gonna,
I’m gonna make a a, a bunny. There’s no bunny. Uhh… [baaah] But there’s a frickin’ goat! [cheering] Well now that
I got your attention [laughter] maybe it’s time for a song. [snapping] Oh. Ah.
Oh oh oh. [laughter] Uh. Ah. Ah. Oh, Christmas. Christmas is that Uh time of the year Hoe, put your hand
to your ear and listen Woooow! That was beautiful. Um. Hey, um.>>Oh, uh, hey.
Care to fill out a name tag? Oh yeah, you got to fill out
a name tag. What department do you work in? Uh, insurance. Ugh. [laughter]
>>[laughter] Oh, that’s hilarious.
>>So funny. Are you in claims?
>>Adjustments? Liabilities?
>>Excess liabilities? Inter craft liabilities? Dental?
>>Rental? Lentil?
>>That’s when soup is very hot. Can I just go in there? Oh, yeah. Sure, of course.
>>Oh, yeah. Okay, um, Alright. Take this.
>>Oh. [Crowd] Woah. Oh. Wow. Um. Ohh. Ahh. Insurance Ajuster’s Ball? More like Insurance
Adjuster’s Bore. [laughter] There’s a big difference
between Insurance Adjuster’s… Liza. Traz. Nice flips. Thanks. Your form was off. Okay, Traz. Look. I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry
I took advantage of you and you’re fame. And I’m sorry I dressed up as
a better looking version of you, called iBrowseEyebrows
and invited her to the party. But I brought you a gift. Yo, I don’t understand. It’s goat’s milk. You can drink it. Thanks. Yeah. I’m sorry I’ve been such
a bad friend. You know what, Liza? I get it. It’s easy to get swept up and forget who you are
when the internet grabs you by the nutsack. That’s why I’m enjoying
being here so much. You know, I mean,
look at these people. They’re so real. They’re so
unapologetically themselves. And our fourth quarter earnings
were through the roof. Now we have a skylight.
[laughter] You know what? I need to be more honest
with people about the real me. Like these heroes. And all of our time sheets
were on time. Yo, uh, ex — excuse me.
Excuse me. Yo, yo, yo. What up?
It’s you boy T-raz and uh, you people inspire me. Y’all are just straight up weird and don’t even give
a shit about how you look. And uh, I have
a confession to make. I’m allergic to cow’s milk. But, this is goat’s milk
and goat’s have utters, so it still counts. So, this is for all y’all. [♪music♪] You go, Traz! [milk pouring] And now, all the children
will be safe! Yes! I did it! [laughter] I milked that! [cheering] Come on down that chimney I want you to put it in me Sexy Santa Hoe, hoe, hoe If you make it rain I’ll lick your candy cane Sexy Santa Hoe, hoe, hoe You’ve got me on my back with that big red sack Sexy Santa Hoe, hoe, hoe [birds chirping] [yawn] Good morning, Traz Good morning.
>>You’re up early. Yeah. You know. Yeah, what’s that on your face? Hmm? Oh! I guess it’s iBrowseEyebrows’,
eyebrows. Okay, Traz. So I will see you
at jail later, where my mom is. Alright, yep. Okay.
>>Merry Christmas, girl. Merry Christmas! Trazit. Turns out being mean and scary, is just her way of flirting. [cups smashing] Oofta. What a night. Hey Traz, thanks again
for cutting me off. That goat ate the ending
of my speech. Eh, no problem. Oh, and Liza.
You really saved my turnips. No problem, Deb. [computer ringing] [laughter] Oh, hey parents. Liza! Hi, pumpkin! Merry Christmas.
>>Merry Christmas, guys. Someone died on
the boat and your father ate sixteen lobster tails. Sixteen? Some waiter tried to cut me off, and I refused! I was so sad that
you weren’t here, that I tried to eat
my feelings away! Ooh. Are you saying you missed me? Of course we did! And we’re never celebrating
Christmas without you ever again. Aw, Merry Christmas, guys. I love you! I can’t hear her. I said I love you! She’s not saying anything.
Just frozen pixels. Just frozen.>>Yeah,
I’m not hearing anything now. Do you want to go
to the sex lounge? Why do we have to go
to the lounge? Oh.
>>[laughter] I’m horny. Ugh. What’s wrong? Uh it’s just, it’s Abel. He’s been suffocating me
with his deep, very lost based affection. Have you seen these bouquets
of bushes he’s been sending me? [Love Abel,
your real boyfriend.] [laughter] Sure, Deb. Yeah it’s like, come on, Abel
[laughter] Deborah! [♪music♪] Abel, what are you doing here? I just couldn’t bear the thought
of a Christmas without you. So I found a wild pack
of husky dogs and I tamed them. And then I carved a kayak out of a dying
cherry tree I know, and after that, I smelted some iron ore from
a chainlink fence, that I sometimes climb as part
of my workout routine. And I used that iron ore to make skis to affix to the kayak. And then I sled that
husky driven kayak from Minnesota all the way down
to southern Minnesota, where I hopped on
a coach flight to right here. That really is true love. Yeah, more like true lust. Our relationship
is purely sexual. Right, Abel? Sure. Mmmm. Awww. Oh god.
>>[gagging] Yeah, see. You’re making us
uncomfortable, Deb. [gagging] [couging]
>>Give me that. That’s my card! Did somebody say party? Colin, how did you do that?! A magician never
reveals his secrets. Anyway, my life
is totally different now. DJ Booth introduced me
to his manager. So now I’m the hottest
magician/entertainer this side of California! What? That’s awesome. Here, eat another card. No, naw. I’m good man, thanks. Oh, and Liza. I told everybody that we can
have the New Year’s Eve Party at your house. That’s cool, right? Oh, fu — [♪music♪] Fiiiiiiiine with me. I knew it. Liza, did you like my goat? Party goat! Just roll on in, Traz. Have you hear about
the milk bucket challenge for children’s safety? The what? [crash] [laughter] [YouTube Red]
[Original Series]

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