Key & Peele – White-Sounding Black Guys


WELCOME TO THE SHOW, EVERYBODY. I AM KEEGAN.
– I AM JORDAN. – AND THIS IS
KEY & PEELE. THANK YOU, YES.
THANK YOU. [cheers and applause] JORDAN AND I ARE–
WE’RE BIRACIAL. – YES, HALF BLACK,
HALF WHITE. – AND BECAUSE OF THAT,
WE FIND OURSELVES PARTICULARLY ADEPT
AT LYING. BECAUSE ON A DAILY BASIS WE
HAVE TO ADJUST OUR BLACKNESS. – YES.
– YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? – OH, NO, THERE’S MANY
REASONS WE DO THAT. – YEAH. – I MEAN,
TO TERRIFY WHITE PEOPLE. – YES, THAT’S ONE
OF THE MAIN REASONS. ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS,
YEAH. – BECAUSE, I MEAN,
YOU KNOW, WITH THE WAY THAT WE SOUND, THE WAY
THAT WE ACTUALLY TALK, WE’RE NOT INTIMIDATING
ANYBODY WITH THE WAY WE SOUND. – OH, NO, NO, NO.
– WE SOUND VERY WHITE. – WE SOUND WHITER THAN
THE BLACK DUDE IN THE COLLEGE
A CAPPELLA GROUP. – YES, WE SOUND WHITER THAN
MITT ROMNEY IN A SNOWSTORM. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? BUT THAT’S JUST–
THAT’S ONE OF– THAT’S THE REASON
WHEN WE’RE AROUND OTHER BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
YOU WILL SEE US– YOU GOT TO JUST–
– YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO DIAL IT UP A LITTLE BIT. – YOU GOT TO DIAL IT UP. OH, SEE, YOU KNOW WHAT
I’M TALKING ABOUT, BROTHER. – OH, YOU KNOW I KNOW WHAT
YOU TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT? – YOU KNOW I KNOW
YOU KNOW– – YOU KNOW I KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW
I KNOW WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT. NO DOUBT, MAN.
NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT,
NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT. – BECAUSE YOU NEVER WANT
TO BE THE WHITEST SOUNDING BLACK GUY IN A ROOM. – YOU PUT FIVE WHITE-TALKING
BLACK GUYS IN THE SAME ROOM, YOU COME BACK IN A HOUR,
IT’S GOING LIKE LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO
UP IN THERE. – STRAIGHT UP. [imitating chanting]

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