“Midsummer Night’s Dream” by the University of Iowa Department of Theatre Arts

(people chattering) – 15 minutes till places, please. 15 minutes till places. (people chattering) Can I get a spotlight, please? (people chattering) That should do, thank you. (gentle music) (people chattering) (gentle music) Line two, come up. (gentle music) (people chattering) (gentle music) 10 minutes till places, please. 10 minutes till places. (jaunty music) (people chattering) (upbeat music) I don’t like that. (people chattering) (chimes jingling) (people chattering) (cheery music) Five minutes to places, please. Five minutes to places. (people chattering) (cheery music) (people chattering) – Hey mom. Yeah, I’m in a show. Yeah, we have shows on Thursday. Lots of people here too. Yeah. – Sir, no phones. (audience laughs) (gentle music) (bell peals) (gentle music) (typewriter keys clatter) Sam, no texts. (audience laughs) (gentle music) (chimes jingle) (gentle music) Sam! No food in the theater. (audience laughs) (gentle music) Players to stage, please. – [Players] Three! – Places. (gentle music) – Oh. (laughs) – Now, fair Hippolyta, our
nuptial hour draws on apace. Four happy days bring in another moon. But, oh, methinks how
slow this old moon wanes. She lingers my desires like
to a step-dame or a dowager, long withering out a young man’s revenue. – Four days shall quickly
steep themselves in night. Four nights shall quickly
dream away the time, and then the moon, like to a
silver bow new-bent in heaven, shall behold the night of our solemnities. – [Egeus] Happy be
Theseus, our renowned duke. – Thanks, good Egeus,
what’s the news with thee? – Full of vexation come I with
complaint against my child, my daughter Hermia. Stand forth, Demetrius. My noble lord, this man hath
my consent to marry her. Stand forth, Lysander. This man hath bewitched
the bosom of my child. Thou, thou, Lysander,
thou has given her rhymes, and interchanged love
tokens with my child. With cunning hast thou
filched my daughter’s heart, turned her obedience, which is due to me, to stubborn harshness. And my gracious duke, be it so she, will not here before your grace consent to marry with Demetrius. I beg the ancient privilege of Athens. As she is mine, I may dispose of her, which shall be either to this gentleman or to her death, according to our laws immediately
provided in that case. – Oh, what say you, Hermia? Demetrius is a worthy gentleman. – So is Lysander. – In himself he is. But in this kind, wanting
your father’s voice, the other must be held the worthier. – Relent, sweet Hermia. And Lysander, yield thy crazed
title to my certain right. – You have her father’s love, Demetrius. Let me have Hermia’s, do you marry him. – Oh, scornful Lysander. True, he hath my love. And what is mine my love shall render him. And she is mine, and all that is hers I
do estate unto Demetrius. – I am, my lord, as well derived
as he, as well possessed. My love is more than his. And which is more than
all these boasts can be, I am beloved of the beauteous Hermia. Why should not I then prosecute my right? Demetrius, I’ll avouch it to his head, made love to Nedar’s daughter, Helena, and won her soul. And she, sweet lady, dotes, devoutly dotes, dotes in idolatry, upon this spotted and inconstant man. – I must confess that
I have heard so much. – Oh, I do entreat your
grace to pardon me. I know not by what power I am made bold, nor how it may concern my modesty in such a presence here
to plead my thoughts. But I beseech your grace that I may know the worst that may befall me in this case if I refuse to wed Demetrius. – Either to die the death or to abjure forever the society of men. Therefore, fair Hermia,
question your desires. Examine well your blood,
know of your youth, whether if you yield not
to your father’s choice, you can endure the livery of a nun. To be a barren sister all your life, chanting faint hymns to
the cold, fruitless moon. – So will I grow, so
live, so die, my lord, ere I will yield my virgin
patent up unto his lordship, whose unwished yoke my soul consents not to give sovereignty. – Take time to pause, and on the next new moon, the sealing-day betwixt my love and me, upon that day, either prepare to die for disobedience to your father’s will, or else to wed Demetrius as he would. Or else the law of Athens yields you up, which by no means we may extenuate. To death or to a vow of single life. Come, my Hippolyta. What cheer, my love? Demetrius, come, and Egeus, come. You shall go with me. I have some private
schooling for you both. – How now, my love, why
is your cheek so pale? How chance the roses
there do fade so fast? – Oh, belike for want of rain, which I could well beteem them
from the tempest of my eyes. – Ay me, for aught that I could ever read, could ever hear by tale or history, the course of true love
never did run smooth. – Oh hell, to choose
love by another’s eyes. – Hear me, Hermey. I have a widowed aunt, a
dowager of great revenue and she hath no child. From Athens is her house
remote seven leagues, and she respects me as her only son. There, gentle Hermia, may I marry thee, and to that place the sharp
Athenian law cannot pursue us. If thou lovest me, then steal forth thy
father’s house tomorrow night in the wood a league without the town where I did meet thee once with Helena to do observance to a morn of May. There will I stay for thee – Oh, oh, my good Lysander, I swear to thee by Cupid’s strongest bow, no, by his best arrow
with the golden head, by all the vows that ever men have broke in number more than ever women spoke, in that same place,
thou hast appointed me, tomorrow, truly will I meet with thee. – Keep promise, love. (Helena moaning) – God speed, fair Helena! Wither away? – Call you me fair? That fair again unsay. Demetrius loves your fair. Oh, happy fair. Oh, teach me how you
look, and with what art you sway the motion of Demetrius’ heart. – I frown upon him, yet he loves me still. – Oh, that your frowns could
teach my smiles such skill. – I give him curses, yet he gives me love. – Oh, that my prayers
could such affection move! – The more I hate, the more he follows me. – The more I love, the more he hateth me. – His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine. – None, but your beauty. Would that fault were mine! – [Hermia] Take comfort. He no more shall see my face, Lysander and myself will fly this place! – Helen, to you our minds we will unfold. Tomorrow night, through Athens’ gates have we devised to steal. – And in the wood where often you and I upon faint primrose beds were wont to lie, emptying our bosoms of their counsel sweet there my Lysander and myself shall meet. And thence from Athens turn away our eyes to seek new friends
and stranger companies. Farewell, sweet playfellow. Pray thou for us. And good luck grant thee, thy Demetrius. Keep word, Lysander. We must starve our sight from lovers’ food till morrow deep midnight. – I will, my Hermia! Helena, adieu. As you on him, Demetrius dote on you. – Oh, how happy some or other some can be. Through Athens I am
thought as fair as she, but what of that? Demetrius thinks not so. He will not know what all, but he do know. Love looks not with the
eyes, but with the mind. And, therefore, is winged
Cupid painted blind. As waggish boys in game
themselves forswear, so the boy Love is perjured everywhere. For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia’s eyne, he hailed down oaths
that he was only mine. And when this hail some
heat from Hermia felt, so he dissolved. And showers of oaths did melt. Oh! I will go tell him of
fair Hermia’s flight. Then to the wood will he
tomorrow night pursue her and for this intelligence if I have thanks it is a dear expense! But herein mean I to enrich my pain, to have his sight thither and back again. (Helen laughs) ♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Oh holy carcass, master of our circus ♪ ♪ Oh holy carcass, oh holy carcass ♪ (indistinct singing) ♪ He that would hang us ♪ ♪ Every mother’s son ♪ ♪ He that would hang us ♪ ♪ He that would hang us ♪ ♪ He that would hang us ♪ ♪ Oh ♪ – Is all our company here? – You were best to call them generally, man by man, according to the script. – Here is the scroll of every man’s name. – Which is thought fit through all Athens, to play in our interlude
before the duke and the duchess on his wedding day. – At night. – First, good Peter Quince,
say what the play treats on. Then read the names of the
actors, and so grow to a point. – Marry, our play is the
most lamentable comedy and most cruel death of. – Pyramus and Thisbe. (shouting) – I assure you and a merry. Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors by the scroll. Masters, spread yourselves. – Nick Bottom.
– The weaver. – Ready, name what part
I am for, and proceed. – You, Nick Bottom, are
set down for Pyramus. – What is Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant? – A lover. – That kills himself
most gallant for love. – Oh, that will ask some tears
in the true performing of it. If I do it, let the
audience look to their eyes. I will move storms. I will condole in some measure (sobbing) to the rest. Yet, my chief humor is for a tyrant. I could play Hercules rarely, or a part to tear a cat in, to make all split! The raging rocks. – [Group] Oh! – And shivering shocks will
break the locks of prison gates! And Phibbus’ car shall shine from far and make and mar the foolish fates! – Oh! (applauding) – This was lofty. – Now name the rest of the players. – Yeah. Francis Flute, the bellows-mender. – Here, Peter Quince. – Flute, you must take Thisbe on you. – What is Thisbe, a wandering knight? – It is the lady. – That Pyramus must love. – Nay, faith, let me not play a woman. I have a beard coming. – That’s all one. You may play it to the mask. And you may speak as small as you will. – And I may hide my face,
let me play Thisbe too. I’ll speak in a monstrous little voice. Thisne. Thisne. (sobbing) Ahh, Pyramus! My lover dear. Thy Thisbe dear. And lady dear! – No, no. – You must play Pyramus
and Flute, you Thisbe. – Well, proceed. – Robin Starveling, the tailor. – Here, Peter Quince. – Robin Starveling, you
must play Thisbe’s mother. – Wha, what? – Tom Snout, the tinker. – Here, Peter Quince. – You, Pyramus’ father. – Woo! – Myself, Thisbe’s father. Snug the joiner. – You the lion’s part. And I hope here is a play fitted. – Have you the lion’s part written? Pray you if it be, give it me for I am slow of study. – You may do it extempore. – For it is nothing but roaring. – Let me play the lion too. I’ll roar, that I will make any
man’s heart good to hear me. I’ll roar, that I’ll make the duke say, let him roar again, let him roar again! – And you should do it too terribly that you would fright the
duchess and the ladies that they would shriek and that
were enough to hang us all. – [All] That would hang
us, every mother’s son. Hey! – I grant you friends
that if you should fright the ladies out of their wits,
they would have no discretion but to hang us. But I will aggravate my
voice so that I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove. I will roar you an ’twere any nightingale. Roar.
– Oh. Roar. Roar. – You may play no part but Pyramus. – Oh! – For Pyramus is a sweet-faced man. – A proper man as one shall
see in a summer’s day. – A most lovely gentleman-like man. – [Both] Therefore, you
must needs play Pyramus. – [Nick] Well, I will undertake it. – Masters, here are your parts. – And I am to entreat you,
request you and desire you to con them by tomorrow night. And meet me in the palace wood a mile without the town by moonlight. There we will rehearse
for if we meet in the city we shall be dogged with
company and our devices known. – I pray you, fail us not. – We will meet and there we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously. – Take pains.
– Be perfect. – Adieu. (chimes jingling) (bell ringing) – How now, spirit? Whither wander you? – [Fairy] Over hill, over
dale, through a brush, through a brier. Over park, over pale,
through flood, through fire. I do wander everywhere. – Swifter than the moon’s sphere – And I serve the fairy queen to dew her orbs upon the green. Either I mistake your
shape and making quite or else you are that
shrewd and knavish sprite called Robin Goodfellow. Are not you he that frights
the maidens of the villagery, those Hobgoblin call you and sweet Puck, you do their work, and
they shall have good luck. Are not you he? – Thou speakest right. I am that merry wanderer of the night. (bell ringing)
– Oh farewell, thou lob of spirits. I’ll be gone, our queen and
all her elves come here anon. – The king doth keep
his revels here tonight. Take heed the queen come
not within his sight. For Oberon is passing fell and wrath because that she as her
attendant hath a lovely boy stolen from an Indian king. She never had so sweet a changeling and jealous Oberon would have the child knight of his train to
trace the forests wild. But she perforce withholds the loved boy, crowns him with flowers
and makes him all her joy. And now they never meet in grove or green, by fountain clear or
spangled starlight sheen. But they do square that
all their elves for fear creep into acorn cups and hide them there. (bell ringing) But, room, fairy. Here comes Oberon. – And here my mistress. Would that he were gone. (fairies singing) – Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania. – What jealous Oberon. Fairies, skip hence I have
forsworn his bed and company. – Tarry, rash wanton. Am not I thy lord? – Then I must be thy lady. Why are thou here? Come from the farthest Steppe of India? But that forsooth the bouncing Amazon, your buskin’d mistress
and your warrior love to Theseus must be wedded,
and you come to give their bed joy and prosperity. – How canst thou thus for shame, Titania. Glance at my credit with Hippolyta knowing I know thy love to Theseus? – These are the forgeries of jealousy. And never since the middle
summer’s spring met we on hill, in dale, forest or mead, by paved fountain or by rushy brook. But with thy brawls thou
hast disturbed our sport. Therefore, the winds, piping
to us in vain, as in revenge, have sucked up from the
sea contagious fogs, which falling in the land
have every pelting river made so proud that they have
overborne their continents. The spring, the summer,
the childing autumn, angry winter, change
their wonted liveries. The mazed world by their increase now knows not which is which. And this same progeny of
evils comes from our debate, from our dissension. We are their parents and original. – Do you amend it then? It lies in you. Why should Titania cross her Oberon? I do but beg a little changeling
boy to be my henchman. – Set your heart at rest. The fairy land buys not the child of me. His mother was a votaress of my order. And in the spiced Indian air by night, full often has she gossiped by my side, and sat with me on Neptune’s yellow sands, marking the embarked traders on the flood, when we have laughed to
see the sails conceive and grow big-bellied with the wanton wind. But she being mortal of this boy did die. And for her sake do I rear up her boy, and for her sake I will not part with him. – How long within this
wood intend you stay? – Perchance till after
Theseus’ wedding day. If you will patiently dance in our round and see our moonlight revels, go with us. – Give me that boy and
I will go with thee. – Not for thy fairy kingdom. (bell ringing) (Titania screaming) Fairies, away! We shall chide downright if I longer stay. (chime jingles) – Well, go thy way! Thou shall not from this grove till I torment thee for this injury. My gentle Puck, come hither. Thou rememberest since once
I sat upon a promontory, and heard a mermaid on a dolphin’s back uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath that the rude sea grew civil at her song. – I remember. – That very time I could
see but thou couldst not flying between the cold
moon and the earth, cupid all armed, a certain aim he took and loosed his love shaft
smartly from his bow as it should pierce a thousand hearts. Yet, marked I where
the bolt of Cupid fell. It fell upon a little western flower, once milk white, now
purple with love’s wound. Fetch me that flower, the
herb I showed thee once, the juice of it on sleeping eyelids laid will make man or woman madly dote on the next live creature that it sees. Fetch me this herb and be thou here ere the leviathan can swim a league. – I’ll put a girdle round that world in 40 minutes. – Having once this juice, I’ll watch Titania when she is asleep and then drop the liquor
of it in her eyes. The next thing she then waking looks on, be it lion or bear, on wolf. Oooh! Or bull, be it on meddling
monkey or busy ape, she shall pursue it with the soul of love. And ere I take this charm off her sight as I can take it with another herb, I’ll have her render up her page to me. (shouting) But who is here? I am invisible. And will overhear their conference. – Demetrius!
– I love thee not, therefore, pursue me not. – [Helena] Woo! (moaning) – Help, help! Where is Lysander and fair Hermia? The one I’ll slay, the other slayeth me. Thou told’st me they were
stolen unto this wood. And here am I, and wode within this wood, because I cannot meet my Hermia. Hence, get thee gone
and follow me no more. – You draw me, you hard-hearted adamant. Leave you your power to draw and I shall have no power to follow you. – Do I entice you? Do I speak you fair? Or rather do I not in
plainest truth tell you, I do not nor I cannot love you? – When even for that
do I love you the more. I am your spaniel, roof! And Demetrius, the more you
beat me I will fawn on you. Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me, neglect me, lose me, only give me leave unworthy
as I am to follow you. – Tempt not too much
the hatred of my spirit for I am sick when I do look on thee. – And I am sick when I look not on you. – You do impeach your modesty too much. To leave the city and commit yourself into the hands of one that loves you not? To trust the opportunity of
night and the ill counsel of a desert place with the
rich worth of your virginity. – Your virtue is my privilege. For that it is not night
when I do see your face, therefore, I think that
I’m not in the night. Nor doth this wood lack worlds of company, for you, in my respect, are all the world. And how can it be said I am alone, when all the world is here to look on me? – I’ll run from thee and
hide me in the brakes, and leave thee to the
mercy of wild beasts. – The wildest hath not
such a heart as you. Run when you will, the
story shall be changed. Apollo flies and Daphne holds the chase. (screaming) – I will not stay thy questions. (screaming) Or, if thou follow me, do not believe but I shall do thee mischief in the wood. (bell ringing) – Ay, in the temple, the town, the field, you do me mischief. Oh fie, Demetrius! Your wrongs do set a scandal on my sex. We cannot fight for love as men may do. We should be wooed, we
were not made to woo. Woo! I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, to die upon the hand I love so well. – Fair thee well, nymph. Ere thou do leave this
grove thou shalt fly him. And he shall seek thy love. Welcome, wanderer. Hast thou the flower there? Augh. – Aye. Here it is. – I pray thee, give it me. I know a bank where the wild thyme blows, where oxlips and the nodding violet grows, quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine with sweet musk-roses and with eglantine. There sleeps Titania
sometime of the night, lulled in these flowers
with dances and delight. And there the snake
throws her enameled skin, weed wide enough to wrap a fairy in. And with the juice of
this I’ll streak her eyes and make her full of hateful fantasy. Take thou some of it and
seek through this grove a sweet Athenian lady is in
love with a disdainful youth. Anoint his eyes, but do it when the next thing
he espies may be the lady. Thou shalt know the man by the
Athenian garments he hath on. Effect it with some care. That he may prove more fond
on her than she upon her love, and look thou meet me here
ere the first cock crow. – Fear not my lord, your
servant shall do so. – Come, sing me now to sleep. Then to your offices and let me rest. (fairies singing) – [Fairy] Hence away, now all is well. One aloof stand sentinel. (chime jingles) (bell ringing) (chime jingling) – What thou seest when thou dost wake, do it for thy true love’s take. Love and languish for his sake. Be it ounce or cat or bear, pard or boar with bristled hair. In thy eye that shall appear when thy wakest, it is thy dear. Wake when some vile thing is near. – [Titania] Ah. (bell ringing) (whistling) – [Hermia] Oh. (Hermia screams) – Fair love, you faint
with wandering in the wood. And to speak troth I have forgot our way. We’ll rest us, Hermia. If you think it good and tarry
for the comfort of the day. – Be it so, Lysander. Find you out a bed for I upon
this bank will rest my head. – One turf shall serve
as pillow for us both. One heart, one bed. Two bosoms, and one troth. – Nay, good Lysander. For my sake, my dear, lie further off do not lie so near. – Oh, take the sense
sweet of my innocence. Love takes the meaning
in love’s conference. I mean, that my heart unto yours is knit so that but one heart we can make of it. Two bosoms interchained with an oath so then two bosoms and a single troth then by your side no bedroom me deny. For lying so Hermia, I do not lie. – Lysander riddles very prettily. Oh but, gentle friend,
for love and courtesy lie further off in human modesty. Such separation as may well be said becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid. So, far be distant, and goodnight, sweet friend. Thy love ne’er alter
till thy sweet life end. – Amen. Amen to that fair prayer, say I. And then end life when I end loyalty. Here’s my bed. Sleep give thee all his rest. – With half that wish the
wisher’s eyes be pressed. – Through the forest I have
gone but Athenian found I none on whose eyes I might
approve this flower’s force in stirring love. Okay. Night, and silence. Who is here? Weeds of Athens he doth wear,
this is he, my master said, despised the Athenian maid. And here the maiden, sleeping sound on the dank and dirty ground. Pretty soul! She durst not lie near this lack love, this kill courtesy. Churl, upon thine eyes I throw all the power this charm doth owe. When thou wakest let love forbid sleep his seat on thy eyelid. So awake when I am gone
for I must now to Oberon. – [Helena] Stay! Though thou kill me sweet Demetrius. – [Demetrius] I charge thee
hence and do not haunt me thus! – [Helena] Oh! Wilt thou darkling leave me? Do not so. – Stay on thy peril. I alone will go. – I am out of breath in this fond chase! The more my prayers,
the lesser is my grace. Happy is Hermia, wheresoe’er she lies for she hath blessed and attractive eyes. I am as ugly as a bear. For beasts that meet me run away for fear. But who is here? Lysander on the ground? Dead or asleep? I see no blood, no wound. Lysander, if you live good sir, awake. – Run through fire I
will for thy sweet sake. Transparent Helena, nature shows art that through thy bosom
makes me see thy heart. Where is Demetrius? Oh, how fit a word is that vile
name to perish on my sword! – Do not say so, Lysander, say not so. What, though he love your Hermia? Lord, what though? Yet Hermia still loves
you, then be content. – Content with Hermia! No, I do repent the tedious minutes I with her have spent. Not Hermia but Helena do I love. Who will not change a raven for a dove? – Wherefore was I to
this keen mockery born? When at your hands did
I deserve this scorn? It’s not enough, it’s
not enough, young man, that I did never, no,
nor never can deserve a sweet look from Demetrius’ eye. But you must flout my insufficiency? Good troth you do me wrong! Good sooth you do. In such disdainful manner me to woo. But fare ye well. Perforce I must confess I thought you lord of
more true gentleness. Oh that a lady of one man refused should of another therefore, be abused. – She sees not Hermia. Hermia, sleep thou there and never mayst thou come Lysander near. And all my power address
your love and might to honor Helena and to be her knight! (Hermia screaming) – Oh! Oh, what a dream was here! Lysander, look how I do quake with fear. Methought a serpent ate my heart away and you sat smiling at his cruel pray. Lysander! What, removed? Lysander, Lord! What, out of hearing? Gone, no sound, no word? Alack, where are you? Oh speak, and if you
hear speak of all loves! I swoon almost with fear. No? Then I well perceive you all not nigh. Either death or you I’ll find immediately! – Are we all met?
– Pat, pat. Oh! But here is a marvelous convenient
place for our rehearsal. Oh, this green plot shall be our stage, this hawthorn-brake our tiring house. – [Woman] And we will do it in action as we will do it before the duke. – Peter Quince! – [Peter] What sayest thou, bully Bottom? – There are things in this
comedy of Pyramus and Thisbe that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw
a sword to kill himself, which the ladies cannot abide. How answer you that? – By our lady kin, a parlous fear. – I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done. – [Peter] Not a whit. – I have a device to make all well. Write me a prologue and let
the prologue seem to say, that we will do no harm with our swords and that Pyramus is not killed indeed. And for the more better assurance, tell them that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver. This will put them out of fear. – Will not the ladies
be afeard of the lion? – I fear it, I promise you. – Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves to
bring in, God shield us! – Oh! A lion among ladies is
a most dreadful thing. For there is not a more fearful wild fowl than your lion living, and
we ought to look to it. – Therefore, another prologue must tell that he is not a lion. – Nay, nay. You must name his name and half
his face must be seen through the lion’s neck. And he himself must speak
through saying thus, or to the same defect,
ladies, or fair ladies, I would wish you or I would request you, or I would intrigue you! Not to fear, not to
tremble, my life for yours. If you think I come hither as a lion it were the pity of my life. No, I am no such thing. I am a man as other men are. And there indeed, let him name his name and tell them plainly he is. – [All] Snug the joiner. – Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things. That is, to bring the
moonlight into the chamber, for you know Pyramus and
Thisbe meet by moonlight. – Doth the moon shine the
night we play our play? – A calendar, a calendar! Look in the almanac, find out
moonshine, find out moonshine. – Yes! It doth shine that night! – Why, then may you leave a casement of the great chamber
window, where we play, open and the moon may shine in at the casement. – Ay or else one must come
in with a bush of thorns and a lantern, and say
he comes to disfigure. – Or to present, hmm, the person of Moonshine. – Then there’s another thing. We must have a wall in the great chamber for, by the story, Pyramus and Thisbe talk through the chinks of a wall. – You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom? – Some man or other must present. – Wall. – And let him have some
plaster or some loam or some rough cast about him to signify. – [Both] Wall. – Ha, ha, ha! Oh, and let him hold his fingers thus. And through that cranny shall
Pyramus and Thisbe whisper. – If that may be then all is well! Come, sit down, every mother’s
son and rehearse your part. Pyramus, you begin. When you have spoken your
speech enter into that brake. And so everyone according to his cue. – What! Hempen homespuns have we swaggering here? So near the cradle of the fairy queen? – [Peter] Speak Pyramus. Thisbe, stand forth! – Thisbe! The flowers of odious savors sweet.
– Odors. Odors. – Odors, savor sweet. So hath thy breath. (heavy breathing) My dearest Thisbe dear. – [Man] Hello! – But hark, a voice! Stay thou! Stay thou but here awhile and by and by I will to thee appear. – Ow! – A stranger Pyramus
than e’er played here! – Must I speak now? – Ay, marry, must you
for you must understand he goes but to see a voice that he heard, and is to come again. (clears throat) – Most radiant Pyramus. Most radiant Pyramus. (laughing) Most radiant Pyramus. Most radiant. Oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh! Ha, ha! Oh! Most radiant Pyramus. Most lily white of hue. Of color like the red
rose on triumphant brier, most brisky juvenal and
eke most lovely Jew, as true as truest horse
that yet would never tire. I’ll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny’s tomb. – Whoa!
– Whoa, whoa! – Ninus. Ninus’ tomb, man. – You must not speak that yet. That you answer to Pyramus. – You speak.
– Ow! – All your part at once, cues and all. – Pyramus enter! Your cue is past. It is never tire. – Oh, uh. Oh, oh, as true as truest horse that yet would never tire. – If I were fair, Thisbe,
I were only thine! (screaming) Why did everyone leave? This is a knavery of, hee-haw,
them to make me afeard. (screaming) – Oh Bottom, thou art changed! What do I see on thee? – What do you see, hee-haw? You see an asshead of your own. Do you? (screaming) – [Peter] Bottom, bless thee! Bless thee, Bottom! Thou art translated! (screaming) – I see their knavery, hee-haw. This is to make an ass of me. To fright me, if they could. But I will not stir from this place. Do what they can. I will walk up and down here and I will sing that they shall hear I am not afraid! ♪ The ousel cock ♪ ♪ So black of hue ♪ ♪ With orange tawny bill ♪ Hee-haw ♪ The throstle with his note so true ♪ ♪ The wren with little quill ♪ Hee-haw – [Titania] What! Angel wakes me from my flowery bed. ♪ The finch, the sparrow and the lark ♪ ♪ The plain song cuckoo gray ♪ ♪ Whose note full many a man doth mark ♪ ♪ And dares not answer nay ♪ (braying) – I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again. Mine ear is much enamored of thy note. So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape, and thy fair virtue’s
force perforce doth move me on the first view to say,
to swear, I love thee. – Methinks, mistress, ye should
have little reason for that. And yet, to say the truth,
reason and love keep little company together now-a-days. The more the pity that
some honest neighbors will not make them friends. Nay! I can gleek upon occasion. – Thou art wise as thou art beautiful. – Oh not so neither. But if I had wit enough
to get out of this wood, I have enough to serve mine own turn. – Out of this wood do not desire to go. (chime jingling) Thou shalt remain here,
whether thou wilt or no. (chime jingling) I am a spirit of no common rate. The summer still doth tend upon my state and I do love thee. Therefore, go with me. Uh! I’ll give thee fairies to attend on thee. And they shall fetch thee
jewels from the deep. And sing to thee while thou
on pressed flowers dost sleep. And I shall purge thee
of thy mortal grossness so that thou shalt like an airy spirit go. Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth! Mustardseed! – Ready!
– And I! – And I!
– And I. – [All] Where shall we go? – Be kind and courteous to this gentleman. Oh, hop in his walks
and gambol in his eyes. Feed him with apricocks and dewberries, with purple grapes, green
figs and mulberries. Oh, nod to him, elves,
and do him courtesies. – Hail, mortal!
– Hail! – Hail!
– Hail! – I cry your worship’s
mercy, hee-haw, heartily. – Come, wait upon him. Lead him to my bower. – Hee-haw. – The moon methinks
looks with a watery eye and when she weeps,
weeps every little flower lamenting some enforced chastity. – Hee-haw, hee-haw. – Tie up my love’s tongue. (chime jingling) Bring him silently. (chime jingling) – [Oberon] I wonder if Titania be awaked. Then what it was that
next came in her eye, which she must dote on in extremity. How now, mad spirit! What night rule now
about this haunted grove? – My mistress with a monster is in love. (laughing) Titania waked and straightway loved an ass. Hee-haw! – This falls out better
than I could devise! But hast thou yet latched
the Athenian’s eyes with the love juice as I did bid thee do? I took him sleeping, that is finished too. And the Athenian woman by his side that, when he waked, of force she must be eyed. – Ahh, stand close. This is the same Athenian? – This is the woman, but not this the man. – Oh! Oo! Why rebuke you him that loves you so? Lay breath so bitter on your bitter foe. – Now I but chide, but I
should use thee worse for thou, I fear, hast given me cause to curse. If thou hast slain Lysander in his sleep being o’er shoes in blood, plunge in the deep and kill me too. The sun was not so true
unto the day as he to me, would he have stolen away
from sleeping Hermia? It cannot be but thou hast murdered him. So should a murderer
look so dead, so grim. – So should the murdered look. And so should I, pierced through the heart
with your stern cruelty. Yet you, the murderer, look as bright, as clear as yonder Venus
in her glimmering sphere. – What’s this to my Lysander? Where is he? Ay, good Demetrius, wilt thou give him me? – I had rather give his
carcass to my hounds. – Out, dog! Out, cur! Thou drivest me past the
bounds of maiden’s patience. Hast thou slain him then? – You spend your passion
on a misprised mood. I am not guilty of Lysander’s blood, nor is he dead for aught that I can tell. – I pray thee, tell me
then that he is well. – And if I could, what
should I get therefore? – A privilege never to see me more. – [Demetrius] Oh! – And from thy hated presence part I so. See me no more, whether he be dead or no. (bell ringing) – There is no following
her in this fierce vein. Here therefore for a while I will remain. – What hast thou done? Thou hast mistaken quite
and laid the love juice on some true love’s sight. About the wood, go swifter than the wind and Helena of Athens look thou find. By some illusion see thou bring her here. I’ll charm his eyes against she do appear. – I go, I go, look how I go. Swifter than arrow from the Tartar’s bow. (chiming) – Flower of this purple dye,
hit with Cupid’s archery, sink in apple of his eye. That when his love he doth espy, let her shine as gloriously
as the Venus of the sky. When thou wakest, if she be
by, beg of her for remedy. – Captain of our fairy band,
Helena is here at hand. And the youth, mistook by me,
pleading for a lover’s fee. Shall we their fond pageant see? Lord, what fools these mortals be! (yelling) – Why should you think
that I should woo in scorn? In scorn and derision never come in tears. Look, when I vow I weep and vows so born in their
nativity all truth appears. How can these things in
me seem scorn to you? Bearing the badge of
faith to prove them true. – Oh, you do advance your
cunning more and more. When truth kills truth,
oh devilish holy fray! These vows are Hermia’s. Will you give her o’er? – Oh, I had no judgment
when to her I swore. – Nor none in my mind,
now you give her o’er. – Demetrius loves her,
and he loves not you. – Oh Helena. Goddess, nymph, perfect, divine! To what, my love, shall
I compare thine eyne? Crystal is muddy. Oh how ripe in show thy lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow. – Oh! What? But! What? Oh! Oh spite! Oh hell! I see you all are bent to set
against me in your merriment. If you were civil and knew courtesy you would not do me this much injury. Can you not hate me, as I know you do, but you must join in souls to mock me too? – You are unkind. Demetrius be not so. For you love Hermia. This you know I know. And here with all good
will, with all my heart, in Hermia’s love I yield you up my part. And yours of Helena to me
bequeath whom I do love and will do till my death. – Never did mockers
waste more idle breath. – Lysander, keep thy Hermia. I will none. If e’er I loved her that love is gone. My heart to her but as
guest wise sojourned. And now to Helen is it home
returned, there to remain. – [Lysander] Helen, it is not so. – Disparage not the
faith thou dost not know. Lest to thy peril thou aby it dear. – [Hermia] Lysander! – Look where thy love
comes, yonder is thy dear. – Oh, oh, thou art not by
mine eye, Lysander found. Mine ear, I thank it,
brought me to thy sound. But why unkindly didst thou leave me so? – Why should he stay whom
love doth press to go? – What love could press
Lysander from my side? – Lysander’s love, that
would not let him bide. Why seek’st thou me? Could not this make thee know the hate I bear thee
made me leave thee so? – You speak not as you
think, it cannot be. – Lo, she is one of this confederacy! Now I perceive they
have conjoined all three to fashion this false
sport in spite of me. Injurious Hermia! Most ungrateful maid! Have you conspired? Have you with these contrived to bait me with this foul derision? Is all the counsel that
we two have shared, the sisters’ vows, the
hours that we have spent when we have chid the
hasty-footed time for parting us, oh, is it all forgot? All school days’ friendship,
childhood innocence? And will you rent our
ancient love asunder, to join with men in
scorning your poor friend? It is not friendly, ’tis not maidenly. Our sex, as well as I
may chide you for it, though I alone do feel the injury. – I am amazed at your passionate
words, I scorn you not. It seems as though you scorn me. – Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn, to follow me and praise my eyes and face, and made your other love Demetrius, who even but now did
spurn me with his foot, to call me goddess, nymph, divine and rare, precious, celestial? Wherefore speaks he this to her he hates? And wherefore doth Lysander
deny your love so rich within his soul and tender
me forsooth affection but by your setting on, by your consent? – I understand not what you mean by this. – Ay, do, persever, counterfeit sad looks, make mouths upon me when I turn my back. If you have any pity, grace or manners you would not make me such an argument. But fare ye well, ’tis partly my own fault which death or absence soon shall remedy. – Stay, gentle Helena! Hear my excuse, my love, my
life, my soul, fair Helena! – Oh excellent! – Sweet, do not scorn her so! – If she cannot entreat, I can compel. – Thou canst compel no
more than she entreat. Thy threats have no more
strength than her weak prayers. Helen, I love thee, by my life, I do. – I say I love thee more than he can do. – If thou say so,
withdraw, and prove it too. – Lysander, whereto tends all this? – Come not, you are a tame man! Go! (screaming) – Hang off, thou cat, thou burr! Vile thing, let loose or
I will shake thee from me like a serpent! (screaming) – Why are you grown so rude? What change is this, sweet love? – Thy love? Out loathed medicine,
oh vile potion hence! – Do you not jest? – Yes, sooth and so do you. – I will keep my word
with thee, Demetrius. – I would I had your bond for I perceive a weak bond holds you. I’ll not trust your word. – What, should I hurt her? Strike her, kill her dead? Although I hate her, I
will not harm her so. – What, can you do me
greater harm than hate? Hate me? Wherefore? Oh me, oh, what news, my love! Am not I Hermia? Are not you Lysander? Since night you loved me,
yet since night you left me. – Ay, by my life and never
did desire to see thee more. Therefore, be out of hope,
of questions, of doubt. Be certain, nothing truer, ’tis no jest that I do
hate thee and love Helena. (Hermia screaming) – You juggler! You canker blossom, you thief of love! What, have you come by night and stolen my love’s heart from him? – Fine, I’faith, have you no modesty, no maiden shame, no touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear impatient
answers from my gentle tongue? Fie, fie you counterfeit, you puppet, you! – Puppet? Why so? Ay, that way goes the game. Now I perceive that she has made compare between our statures. She hath urged her height,
and with her personage, her tall personage, her height forsooth she
hath prevailed with him. And are you grown so high in his esteem because I am so dwarfish and so low? How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak! How low am I? I am not yet so low but that my nails can reach unto thine eyes! (screaming) – I pray you, though you mock me gentlemen let her not hurt me. I was never curst. Let her not strike me. You perhaps may think
because she is something lower than myself that I can match her. – Lower, hark again! (screaming) – Good Hermia, do not
be so bitter with me! I evermore did love you, Hermia. Did ever keep your
counsels, never wronged you. Save that, in love unto Demetrius I told him of your stealth unto this wood. He followed you, for love I followed him but he hath chid me hence and
threatened me, to spurn me, strike me, nay, to kill me too. And now, so you will let me quiet go to Athens will I bear my folly back and follow you no further. Let me go!! You see how simple and how fond I am. – Why, get you gone. Who is’t that hinders you? – A foolish heart which
I leave here behind. – Oh, what, with Lysander? – With Demetrius. – Be thy not afraid, Helena,
she shall not harm thee. (screaming) – No sir, she shall not
though you take her part. – Oh, when she is angry,
she is keen and shrewd. She was a vixen when she went to school and though she be but
little, she is fierce. – Oh, little again! Nothing but low and little! Why will you suffer her to flout me thus? Let me come to her! – Get you gone, you dwarf. You minimus of hindering knot grass made. You bead, you acorn. – You are too officious in her behalf that scorns your services. Let her alone. Speak not of Helena. – Now she holds me not. Now follow, if thou
darest to try whose right, of thine or mine, is most in Helena! – Follow! – Huh! – Uh! – Ahh! (groaning) – I’ll go with the. Cheek by jowl. – Ha!
– Ahh! (yelling) – You mistress, all this
coil is long of you. Nay, go not back. – I will not trust you, I, nor longer stay in your curst company! (yelling) Your hands than mine
are quicker for a fray, my legs are longer though to run away! – I am amazed, and know not what to say. (bell ringing) – This is thy negligence. Still thou mistakest, or else commit thy knaveries willfully. – Oh, believe me, king
of shadows, I mistook. Did not you tell me I should know the man by the Athenian garments he had on? – Thou see’st these lovers
seek a place to fight. Hie therefore, Robin, overcast the night. The starry welkin cover
thou anon with drooping fog as black as Acheron, then
lead these testy rivals so astray as one come
not within another’s way. Then crush this herb into Lysander’s eye whose liquor hath this virtuous property. When they next awake, all this derision shall seem a dream and fruitless vision. Whilest I in this affair do thee employ I’ll to my queen and
beg her changeling boy. And then her charmed eye I’ll
release from monster’s view, and all things shall be peace. – Up and down, up and down, I will lead them up and down. I am feared in field and town, Goblin, lead them up and down. Here comes one. (yelling) – [Lysander] Where art
thou, proud Demetrius? Speak thou now. – Here, villain, drawn and ready. Where art thou? – [Lysander] I will be with thee straight. – Follow me then to plainer ground. (yelling) – Lysander! Speak again thou runaway,
thou coward, art thou fled? Speak! In some bush? Where dost thou hide thy head? – Come recreant, come thou child, I’ll whip thee with a rod. He is defiled that draws a sword on thee. – Yea, art thou there? – Follow my voice, we’ll
try no manhood here. (yelling) – He goes before me and still dares me on! When I come where he
calls, then he’s gone. The villain is much lighter-heeled than I. I followed fast, but faster he did fly, that fallen am I in dark uneven way, (chime jingles) and here will rest me. Come, though gentle day, for if but once thou show me thy gray light, I’ll find Demetrius
and revenge this spite. (chime jingles) – Ho, ho, ho, coward! Why comest thou not? (yelling) – Abide me if thou darest, for well I wot thou runn’st
before me shifting every place. And darest not stand
nor look me in the face. Where art thou now? – Come hither. I am here! – Nay. Thou mock’st me. Thou shalt buy this dear if
ever I thy face by daylight see. (chime jingles) Now go thy way. Faintness constraineth me
to measure out my length on this cold bed. By day’s approach, look to be visited. (chime jingles) – Oh weary night. Oh long and tedious
night, abate thy hours! Shine comforts from the east
that I may back to Athens by daylight from these that
my poor company detest. (chime jingles) And sleep, that sometimes
shuts up sorrow’s eye. Steal me awhile from mine own company. (chime jingles) – Yet but three? Come one more. Two of both kinds make up four. Here she is, curst and sad. Cupid is a knavish lad. Thus to make poor females sad. – Never so weary, never so in woe, I can no further crawl, no further go. My legs can keep no pace with my desires. (chime jingles) Here I will rest me till the break of day. Heavens shield Lysander
if they mean a fray! (chime jingles) – On the ground, sleep sound. I’ll apply to your eye, gentle lover, remedy. When thou wakest thou takest
true delight in the sight of thy former lady’s eye. And the country proverb
known that every man should take his own, in
your waking shall be shown. Jack shall have Jill. (chime jingles Nought shall go ill. (chime jingles) The man shall have his mare again, and all shall be well. (laughing) ♪ To fix the sparrow and a lark ♪ (indistinct singing) ♪ Whose noble many a man doth mark ♪ ♪ And dares not answer nay ♪ (laughing) – Muah. – Oh! – Muah. Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed. While I thy amiable cheeks do coy, and stick musk roses in
thy sleek smooth head, and kiss thy fair large
ears, my gentle joy. – I must to the barber’s, for methinks I am marvelous
hairy, hee-haw, about the face. And I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle
me I must scratch. – Oh, wilt thou hear some
music, my sweet love? (fairies singing) Or say, sweet love, what
thou desirest to eat? – Oh, truly, hee-haw, a peck of provender. I could munch your good dry oats. Methinks I have a desire
for a bottle of hay. Good hay, sweet hay, hath no fellow. But I pray you let none
of your people stir me. I have an exposition
of sleep come upon me. – Sleep thou and I shall
wind thee in my arms. Fairies begone, be all ways away. Oh, how I love thee! How I dote on thee! – Welcome, good Robin. See’st thou this sweet sight? Her dotage I do begin to pity. For meeting her of late behind the wood, I then did ask of her
her changeling child, and now that I have the boy, I will undo this hateful
imperfection of her eyes. (chime jingling) Be as thou wast wont to be. See as thou wast wont to see. Now wake thee, Titania, my sweet queen. – My Oberon! Oh, what visions have I seen. Methought I was enamored of an ass. – There lies your love. (screaming) – How came these things to pass? – Silence awhile. (bell ringing) And gentle Puck, take
this transformed scalp, from off the head of this Athenian swain that, he waking when the other do, may all back to Athens again repair and think no more of
this night’s accidents but as the fierce vexation of a dream. (chime jingles) – Now when thou wakest, with
thine own fool’s eyes peep. (chime jingles) Fairy king, attend and mark, I do hear the morning lark. – Then my queen in silence sad, trip we after the night’s shade. We the globe can compass soon, swifter than the wandering moon. – Come my lord and in our flight tell me how it came this night that I sleeping here was found with these mortals on the ground. – Bottom!
– Bottom! – Bottom!
– Bottom! – [Group] Bottom! – Bottom!
– Bottom? (yelling) – Bottom!
– Bottom! – Bottom!
– Bottom! – Bottom?
– No. – Bottom?
– No. – Bottom?
– No. – Bottom?
– No. – Fish?
– No! – Bottom!
– Bottom! – Fish!
– Bottom! – [All] Bottom! (yelling) – Fish!
– Bottom! – [Man] Bottom? (yelling) – But soft! – What nymphs are these? – Hmm. My noble lord, this is
my daughter here asleep. And this Lysander. This Demetrius is, and this
Helena, old Nedar’s Helena. I wonder of their being here together. – Good morrow, friends! Saint Valentine is past. Begin these woods birds but to couple now? – Pardon, my lord. – I pray you all, stand up. I know you two are rival enemies. How comes this gentle concord in the world that hatred be so far from jealousy to sleep by hate and fear no enmity? – My lord, I shall reply
amazedly, half sleep, half waking but as yet I swear I cannot
truly say how I came here. Oh, but as I think, for
truly would I speak, and now I do bethink me so it is, I came with Hermia hither. Our intent was to be gone
from Athens where we might without the perils of Athenian law. – Enough, enough, my lord! You have enough. I beg the law, the law upon his head. They would have stolen away. They would, Demetrius, thereby
to have defeated you and me. You, you of your wife
and me of my consent, of my consent that she
should be your wife. – My good lord, I wot not by what power, but by some power it is, my love to Hermia, melted as the snow, and all the passion,
the virtue of my heart, the object and pleasure of mine eye, is only Helena. To her, my lord was I
betrothed ere I saw Hermia. But now I do wish it, love it, long for it and will for evermore be true to it. – Fair lovers, you are fortunately met. Of this discourse we more will hear anon. – Egeus, I will overbear your will. (Egeus screaming) For in the temple by and by with us these couples shall be eternally knit. – Away with us to Athens! Three and three. We’ll hold a feast with great solemnity! Come, my Theseus. – Methinks I see these
things with parted eye, when everything seems double. – I have found Demetrius like a jewel, mine own and not mine own. – Are you sure that we are awake? It seems to me that
yet we sleep, we dream. Do not you think the duke was here, and bid us follow him? – Aye, and he did bid
us follow to the temple. – Why then we are awake. Let us follow him and, by the way, let us recount our dreams. – When my cue comes call
me and I will answer! My next is most fair Pyramus. Hey ho! Peter Quince! Flute, the bellows mender! Snout the tinker, Starveling? God’s my life, stolen
hence, and left me asleep! I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of man to
say what dream it was. Man is but an ass, if he go
about to expound this dream. Methought I was, (laughing) there’s no man can say what. Methought I was, and methought I had. But man is but a patched fool if he will offer to say
what methought I had. The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen, man’s hand is not able to taste. His tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report what my dream was. I will get Peter Quince to
write a ballad of this dream. It shall be called Bottom’s Dream. For it hath no bottom and I will sing it in
the latter end of a play, before the duke! Ooh! Peradventure to make it the more gracious, I’ll sing it at her death. – Have you sent to Bottom’s house? Is he come home yet? – He cannot be heard of. Out of doubt he is transported. (sobbing) – If he comes not then the play is marred. It goes not forward, doth it? – It is not possible. You have not a man in all Athens able to discharge Pyramus but he. – No. He had simply the best wit of
any handicraft man in Athens. – Yeah, and the best person too. And he were a paramour for a sweet voice. – Masters! (sobbing) The duke is coming from the temple and there are two or three
lords and ladies more married. If our sport had gone forward,
we had all been made men. (sobbing) – Sweet bully Bottom. Thus hath he lost sixpence
a day during his life. He could not have escaped sixpence a day. And the duke had not
given him sixpence a day for playing Pyramus. I’ll be hanged. – He would have deserved it! Sixpence a day in Pyramus, or nothing. (sobbing) – [Nick] Where are these lads? – Bottom?
– Bottom? – Where are these hearts? – [Group] Bottom! (screaming) – Masters, I am to discourse wonders! – [Group] Oh! – But ask me not what. – Let us hear, sweet Bottom! – Not a word of me. All that I will say is,
that the duke hath dined. Get your apparel together,
every man look o’er his part. In any case, let Thisbe have clean linen and let not him who plays
the lion pair his nails for they shall hang out
for the lion’s claws. And, most dear actors, eat no onions or garlic for
we are to utter sweet breath. And I do not doubt but to hear them say, it is a sweet comedy. – No more words! Away! (laughing) – ‘Tis strange my Theseus
that these lovers speak of. – More strange than true. I never may believe these antique fables, nor these fairy toys. Lovers and madmen have
such seething brains, such shaping fantasies, that apprehend more than
cool reason ever comprehends. Such tricks hath strong imagination that if it would but apprehend some joy. It comprehends some bringer of that joy. – But all the stories
of the night told over, and all their minds
transfigured so together, more witnesseth than fancy images and grows to something of great constancy. But, howsoever, strange and admirable. (laughing) – Joy, gentle friends! Joy and fresh days of love
accompany your hearts! – More than to us wait
in your royal walks, your board, your bed. – Come now. What masques, what dances shall we have to wear away this long age of three hours between our after supper and bedtime? Where is our usual manager of mirth? – [Philostrate] Here, mighty Theseus. – What revels are ahead? Is there no play to ease the
anguish of the torturing hour? – There is a brief how
many sports are ripe. Make choice of which your
highness will see first. – The battle with the Centaurs to be sung by an Athenian eunuch to the harp. We’ll none of that. – The riot of the tipsy Bacchanals. Tearing the Thracian singer in their rage. – That is some old
device and it was played when I from Thebes last came a conqueror. – The thrice three Muses
mourning for the death of learning, late deceased in beggary. – That is some satire, keen and critical, not sorting with a nuptial ceremony. – A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus and his love Thisbe, very tragical mirth. – Merry and tragical? Tedious and brief! That is, hot ice and
wondrous strange snow. – A play there is, my
lord, some 10 words long, which is as brief as I have known a play. But by 10 words, my lord, it is too long, which makes it tedious,
for in all the play there is not one word
apt, one player fitted. And tragical, my noble lord, it is, for Pyramus therein doth kill himself which, when I saw
performed, I must confess, made mine eyes water,
but more merry tears. The passion of loud laughter never shed. – What are they that do play it? – Hard-handed men that
work in Athens here, who never labored in their minds till now. And now have toiled
their unbreathed memories with this same play, against your nuptial. – Let us hear it. – Oh! No, my noble lord, it is not for you. I have heard it over and it is nothing, nothing in the world. – We will hear that play. – [Group] Yes! (yelling) – For never can anything be amiss, when simpleness and duty tender it. – So be it, your grace,
the prologue is addressed. – [Theseus] Let him approach! (clapping) – If we offend it is with our good will that you should think
we come not to offend but with good will. To show our simple skill that is the true beginning of our end. Consider then we come but in despite. We do not come as minding to contest you, our true intent is all for your delight. We are not here. That you should hear repent you. The actors are at hand and by their show you shall know all that
you are like to know. – [Hippolyta] Who’s next? – Gentles, perchance
you wonder at this show. But wonder on, till truth
makes all things plain. This man is Pyramus, if you would know. – This beauteous lady Thisbe is certain. – [All] Oh! – This man, with lime and
rough-cast, doth present Wall, that vile Wall which
did these lovers sunder. And through Wall’s chink, poor souls, are they content to whisper. At the which let no man wonder. – This man, with lanthorn,
dog, and bush of thorn, presenteth Moonshine
for, if you will know, by Moonshine did these
lovers think no scorn to meet at Ninus’ tomb,
there, there to woo. – This grisly beast,
which Lion hight by name, the trusty Thisbe, coming first by night, did scare away, or rather did affright. And, as she fled, her mantle she did fall which Lion vile with
bloody mouth doth stain. Oh, anon comes Pyramus,
sweet youth and tall, and finds his trusty Thisbe mantle slain. Whereat, with blade, with
bloody blameful blade, he bravely broached his
boiling bloody breast. And Thisbe, tarrying in mulberry shade, his dagger drew, and died. – [Both] For all the rest,
let Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and lovers twain at large discourse, while here they do remain. (clapping) – In this same interlude it doth befall that I one Snout, by name present a wall. And such a wall as I would have you think, had in it a crannied hole or
chink through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisbe, did
whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough cast,
and this stone doth show that I am that same wall. The truth is so. And this, the cranny
is right and sinister, through which the fearful
lovers are to whisper. – [Theseus] Would you desire
lime and hair to speak better? – [Demetrius] It is the wittiest partition that ever I heard discourse, my lord. – [Theseus] Pyramus draws near the wall. Silence! – Oh, grim looked night! Oh, night with hue so black! Oh, night which ever art when day is not! Oh night, oh night! Alack, alack, alack! I fear my Thisbe’s promise is forgot! And thou, oh wall, oh
sweet, oh lovely wall that stands between her
father’s ground and mine. And thou, oh wall, oh
sweet, oh lovely wall, show me thy chink, to blink
through with mine eyne! Thanks, courteous wall. Jove shield thee well for this. But what see I? No Thisbe do I see. Oh wicked wall, through
whom I see no bliss! Cursed be thy stones
for thus deceiving me! – [Theseus] The wall,
methinks, being sensible should curse again! – No, in truth sir, he should not. Deceiving me is Thisbe’s cue. She is to enter now and I am
to spy her through the wall. You shall see, it will
fall pat as I told you. Yonder she comes. – Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh! Oh. Oh, wall, full often hast thou heard my moans for parting my fair Pyramus and me! My cherry lips have often,
muah, kissed thy stones, thy stones with lime and
hair knit up in thee. – I see a voice. Now will I to the chink, to the chink to spy and I
can hear my Thisbe’s face. Thisbe! – My love! Thou art my love, I think. – Think what thou wilt,
I am thy lover’s grace. Oh, kiss me through the
hole of this vile wall! – I kissed the wall’s
hole, not your lips at all. – Wilt thou at Ninny’s tomb–
– Ninus! – Ninus, Ninus’ tomb meet me straightway? – Tide life, tide death, I come without delay! – Thus have I, Wall,
my part discharged so. And being done, thus Wall away doth go. (clapping) – [Theseus] Now is the mural
down between the two lovers. – [Hippolyta] This is the
silliest stuff that ever I heard. – [Theseus] Here comes
in two noble beasts, a man and a lion. – The. You ladies, you, whose gentle hearts do fear the smallest monstrous
mouse that creeps on floor, may now perchance both
quake and tremble here when lion rough in wildest rage doth roar. Ahh! Ahh! (screaming) Then know that I, Snug
the joiner, am a lion-fell nor else no lion’s dam. For, if I should as lion come
in strife into this place ’twere pity on my life. – [Theseus] A gentle beast,
of a good conscience. – [Hippolyta] The very
best at a beast, my lord, that e’er I saw. – All that I have to say is to tell you that this lantern is the moon. Ay, the man in the moon. This thorn-bush, my thorn-bush and this dog, my dog. – [Woman] Here comes Thisbe. – Oh! This is old Ninny’s.
– Ninus! Ninus? Ninus. This is old Ninus’ tomb. Where is my love? (screaming) – [Demetrius] Well roared Lion! – [Theseus] Well run Thisbe. (screaming) – Sweet Moon, I thank
thee for thy sunny beams. I thank thee, Moon, for
shining now so bright. For, by thy gracious,
golden, glittering gleams, I trust to take of truest Thisbe sight. But stay, oh spite! But mark, poor knight,
what dreadful dole is here! Eyes, do you see? How can it be? Oh, dainty duck, oh dear! Thy mantle good, what, stained with blood! Approach, ye Furies fell! Oh Fates, come, come,
cut thread and thrum. Quail, crush, conclude, and quell! – [Theseus] That passion and
the death of a dear friend, would go near to make a man look sad. – [Hippolyta] Beshrew my
heart, but I pity the man. – Oh wherefore, Nature,
didst thou lions frame? Since lion vile hath here deflowered. – [Woman] Devoured! – Devoured? My dear which is, no no, which was the fairest
dame that ever lived, that loved, that liked,
that looked with cheer. Come tears, confound, out sword and wound that pap of Pyramus. Ay, that left pap where heart doth hop! Thus die I. (screaming) Ahh! Now am I dead. Now am I fled. My soul is in the sky. Tongue, lose thy light. Moon take thy flight. (whooshing) Now die. Die. Die. Die. (applauding) – [Hippolyta] How chance Moonshine is gone before Thisbe comes back
and finds her lover? – [Theseus] She will
find him by starlight. Here she comes and her
passion ends the play. – Asleep, my love? What! Dead? My dove! Oh, oh, Pyramus, arise. Speak. Speak. Quite dumb? Dead? Dead? A tomb must cover thy sweet eyes. These little lips, this cherry nose, these yellow cowslip cheeks, are gone, are gone. Lovers make moan, his eyes were green as leeks. Oh sisters three, come, come to me with hands as pale as milk. Lay them in gore since you have shore with shears his thread of silk. Tongue, not a word. Come. Trusty sword. Come, blade, my breast imbrue. And, farewell, friends. Thus Thisbe ends. Adieu. Adieu. Adieu. (clapping) – [Theseus] Moonshine and Lion
are left to bury the dead. (mumbling) – No, not wall, I assure you, the wall is down that
parted their fathers. – Will it please you to see the epilogue? – No epilogue, I pray you for
your play needs no excuse. (clapping) Truly and very notably discharged. – No! (bell ringing) The iron tongue of midnight hath told 12. Lovers, to bed. ‘Tis almost fairy time. Sweet friends, to bed. A fortnight hold we in solemnity with nightly revels and new jollity! – [Women] Whoo! (chiming) (bell ringing) (chime jingling) – Now it is the time of night that the graves all gaping wide, every one lets forth his sprite in the churchway paths to glide. And we fairies that do run,
by the triple Hecate’s team, from the presence of the sun, following darkness like a dream. Now are frolic. Not a mouse shall disturb
this hallowed house. I am sent with broom before to sweep the dust behind the door. – Through this house give gathering light by the dead and drowsy fire. Each elf and fairy sprite hop
as light as bird from brier. And this ditty after me,
sing and dance it trippingly. – Hand in hand with fairy grace, will we sing and bless this place. – Now until the break of day through this house each fairy stray and each several Chamber bless through this palace with sweet peace and the owner of it blest ever shall in safety rest. (bell ringing) – If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. That you have but slumbered here whilst these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream. Gentles, do not reprehend. If you pardon, we will mend. And as I am an honest Puck
if we have unearned luck now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue, we will make amends ere long. Else the Puck a liar call. So good night unto you all. Give me your hands if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends. (audience applauding)

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