“NFL 2019” — A Bad Lip Reading of The NFL

***You can turn these captions on and off using the CC button You know, back then I was a little baby Sweet and greasy You gotta love bread I know, you know there’s sandwich bread over there next to the coffee Oh yeah, I eat bread in the bathtub Okay,that’s gross to me There’s a lot I been feeling lately Uh, why is there a hearse at my house? Night screams… the new fun of the kids Billy! Billy! My Billy Billy, where are you, Billy?! So I need to talk to you regarding money I stomped on all the fun chunks My grief has a scent like suffering A rusty navel? How’d it get rusty? Look at this bug! It’s an honor to meet you, my lord Hmmmghahhh Hmephhushimma Meefrow Winkle, winkle, wink wittle ghost And kiss a pickle as you haunt your tree [clap] Hey! I’m crying on the inside I intensely stole carpet I tell you, there’s a Bigfoot on your shed It itches right where the end is How would you describe yourself? Hot Yeah, hot But saucy Hey, I’mma talk on the field Yeah, okay, what about? Go slow, ’cause I like that Kevin, the car’s coming soon Hey I got fun stuff! In my bag! Poetry and French art! [sniffs] TOBASCO? Why would you send apples to NASA? It was night Well why would you send apple crates during the night time? Hand at ya You think you could eat a leprechaun? Now I’m not sayin’ I wanna really So man, don’t hurt me with all y’all’s shapes! Hope you like rats better than mice Everybody gets a rat Free rats! Everybody gets their rats! Lobster scrotum pasta You seem busy My spit got on the vegetables Hey I heard they’re gonna change the ball Into a square ball Okay, I sense a purple object over there What’s your name? What? The starfish in the vents are rotting IfF you’re having a birthday, we’re truly sorry I want you to just hold me, all right? Just hold me and tell me you’ll never leave me Actually, I’m sorry, I’m gonna walk away That’s good NO EMOTION NO ACCENT NOTHING Pass the water, do it at once That boy is firsty Can’t wait to be on a winning team! Hey, I’m an icon! Oh no, it’s happening Stop standing! Stop drinking! Poke his eye! I’m the star! Hey, he’s a spy! You’re gonna die! OWWW! I used to dance like this Viviana, Viviana, VIVIANA She loved to dance, she loved to dance, she loved to dance That tiger will jump down and feed on you I’m hydrophobic, so I’m kinda scared of the ocean I melted a lot of people Humans shouldn’t visit the labyrinth I just can’t work with you “Go Tell It On The Mountain” has a GREAT rhythm! Man, I only got a brown bag I need a suitcase! I wish I could meet Pikachu Why am I right by a faucet? I will sell violent fantasy to you I touched this too long, now it will be a white head I dare you to not move I gotta move Aw, look, a random butt I”m gonna hit! Dldllllllllll I got something to tell you right now And I want you to look in my face Mmmmmmm Hoow whuettt I’m gonna keep one of the best squirrels Rice milk? What, y’all don’t like fun? I taught a toddler to bark in the dark If I went “bzzzzt!” it would kill ya! There’s a barefoot guy! So what do you think this stuff is that’s streaking down? Uhhh, well what do you really mean? I mean, you have atmospheric conditions And when things are right, then you get your probable rain generation Just falling down? That’s how rain works You told me you LIKED “Cinderella” Big rivers are so intense! Hi, I’m Ronald. Are you staying for the night? Hnnghughh Wait, where are we? You know what we oughta do? Take a picture! Hngggyahh I don’t know if I turned off the light Mmmmm What do you do to get ready for a game? You know, I say to myself, “Jeffrey? Jeffrey Sphincter?” “What are you doing? You need a clover!” “May young Jeffrey save this game” And ummm, like I say that every ten minutes And then, umm, I look at my feet I sleep on the Happiness Tree Oscar told a poignant tale I hate the meat at the Crust Buffet Huzzah! Extra mush for all my minion! I sold my horse! Now can you find the tiny red shoe? Uhhhhhhhh It’s right there! [choking noise] I like shiny brass! Brass is great! I like brass I hope you feel good, so — Not you, I hope you fall on a machete later Oh, it’s a joke! Guys! What’s this for? What’d I do to you? Guys? Guys? UGHHHH! Guys? uGHHHH Night snacking. That’s what I do I tested a colon Why are you being anti-Dutch? Okay, if you make it to the Secret Dune [I can] Then now you see, look, see how this dragon comes down fast over here? Oh gosh Man, it’s just over Hey, I’m probably just gonna run it So I just wanna make sure you’re ready OH NO When talking to heart-broken teenagers, what should I say? I don’t know the answer Like who can say? Probably should ask that old man ‘Cause you trying to talk about something that immediately just don’t concern me It’s just stuff about you I dated Bruce Wayne Not true Let’s check in on these two fellas I’ll shove you over that railing and then I’ll pinch you Oh no, don’t pinch me, this is bad I mean, whatever shall I do? You’re a “larcher” A lunch archer. And I say unto you, “Victory is nigh” Just let me try to focus YeahhH! Yeaahhh! THat’s tasty! EHhhhgh ehghhh eafhhhhhghh I do this when I feel free and fancy This kid’s jeep that has carpets and rain coats in the back is for sale! Look at the view, dude Hey can I have like half a million dollars? Anyways, I’m a mirage When can I get handsomer? I raised a pumpkin. Did you? HURTY! You’re banned from Asia, but you gotta go to China If I can’t be in Asia, then how do I get to China? I mean, I just, I mean… You’d rather have a Vitalli over a Monet? Yeah, definitely Wait, Stefan. Hush your mouth! What, say what? Have you remember a Monet is what we’re talking about Yo dude, yo dude, yo dude, yo dude, yo dude, yo dude, Hey I’ll make some fajita pot pies later for all my coolest friends Oh, but not you Heh heh heh, GHAAH! OH it’s YOU! My fingers smell like cabbage [sniff] or like a riverboat captain’s sock I lost weight! I’m sorryyy! [sobbing] I’m leaving! [sneeze] Were you good at math in school? Eleven over eight, carry the seven, all that stuff But you know, I don’t know about pi or nothing like that Hey, look at me, I’m Rick Rocket! AHghhhh! ACTIVATE FREEDOM! Hot dogs! MMMMmmmm mmmm I LIKE!


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