♪ If there’s something strange
in your neighborhood ♪♪ Who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters! ♪♪ If there’s something weird
and it don’t look good ♪♪ Who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters! ♪All right. I’m gonna turn
over the next card. I want you to concentrate. I want you to tell me
what you think it is. Square. Good guess. But wrong. Clear your head. All right. Tell me
what you think it is. Is it a star? It is a star. Very good.
That’s great. Okay. All right. Think hard. What is it? Circle. Close. But definitely wrong. Okay. – All right. Ready?
– Yeah. All right. What is it? Come on. Figure eight. Incredible. That’s 5 for 5.
You can’t see these, can you? – You’re not cheating me, are you?
– No, I swear they’re just coming to me. Okay. – Nervous?
– Yes. I don’t like this. You only have 75 more to
go, okay? What’s this one? It’s a couple of wavy lines. – Sorry. This isn’t your lucky day.
– I know. Um… Wait… Um… I’m getting a little tired of this! You volunteered, didn’t you?
We’re paying you, aren’t we? Yeah, but I didn’t know you were
gonna be giving me electric shocks! What are you trying to
prove here, anyway? I’m studying the effect of negative
reinforcement on ESP ability. The effect? I’ll tell you what the
effect is. It’s pissing me off! Well, then maybe my
theory is correct! – You can keep the 5 bucks. I’ve had it.
– I will, mister! You may as well get used to that. It’s the kind of resentment that your
ability is going to provoke in some people. Do you think I have it,
Dr. Venkman? You’re no fluke, Jennifer. This is it. This is definitely it! Did those UV lenses come
in for the video camera? And that blank tape, I need it,
the one you erased yesterday. – Will you excuse me for a second?
– Sure. I’m right in the middle
of something, Ray. I need a little more
time with this subject. Could you come back in an
hour, hour and a half? Peter, at 1:40 p.m. at the main branch of The New York
Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a free-floating,
full-torso, vaporous apparition. It blew books off shelves
from 20 feet away and scared the socks off
some poor librarian. I’m very excited. I’m very pleased. I want you to get right down there,
check it out, and get back to me. No, Peter, you’re coming with us on
this one. Spengler went down there. He took PKE valences, went right
off the top of the scale. Buried the needle. We’re close
on this one. I can feel it. I can feel it. We’re
very, very close. I have to go now, Jennifer, but I’d
like to work with you some more. Perhaps you could come back
this evening, say at…? Eight o’clock? I was just going to say, “8:00?”
You are a legitimate phenomenon. As a friend, I have to tell you, you’ve finally gone around the
bend on this ghost business. You guys have been
running your ass off, meeting and greeting every
schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal
experience. What have you seen? Of course, you forget, Peter, I was present at an undersea,
unexplained mass sponge migration. Oh, Ray, the sponges migrated
about a foot and a half. – Oh, you’re here.
– Yeah, what have you got? This is big, Peter, this is very big.
There’s definitely something here. Egon, this reminds me of the time you
tried to drill a hole through your head. – Remember that?
– That would’ve worked if… I’m Roger Delacorte. Are you
the men from the university? Yes. I’m Dr. Venkman.
Dr. Stantz. Egon. Thank you for coming. I hope we can
clear this up quickly and quietly. Let’s not rush things. We don’t
even know what you have yet. I don’t remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms,
because it reached out for me. Arms? I can’t wait to get
a look at this thing. Alice, I’m gonna ask you a couple
of standard questions, okay? Have you or any
member of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic,
mentally incompetent? My uncle thought he was St. Jerome. I’d call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using
drugs, stimulants, alcohol? – No.
– No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice,
menstruating right now? – What has that got to do with it?
– Back off, man. I’m a scientist. Ray, it’s moving. Come on. Look! – This is hot, Ray.
– Symmetrical book-stacking. Just like the Philadelphia
mass turbulence of 1947. You’re right. No human being
would stack books like this. Listen! Do you smell something? Talk about telekinetic
activity. Look at this mess. Raymond, look at this. Ectoplasmic residue. – Venkman, get a sample of this.
– It’s the real thing. Somebody blows their nose,
and you wanna keep it? I’d like to analyze it. – There’s more over here.
– I’m getting stronger readings here. This way. Come on. Egon, your mucus. This happen to you before? Oh. First time? It’s here. A full-torso apparition.
And it’s real. So, what do we do? Could you come over here and
talk to me for a second, please? Could you just come over
here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here,
Francine. Come here. – What do we do?
– I don’t know. What do you think? Stop that! We’ve gotta make contact. One of us
should actually try to speak to it. Good idea. Hello. I’m Peter. Where are you from? Originally. Shh. All right. Okay. The usual
stuff isn’t working. Okay, I have a plan.
I know exactly what to do. Now, stay close. Stay close. I know. Do exactly as I say. Get ready. Ready? Get her! – Did you see it? What was it?
– We’ll get back to you. Wait! “Get her.” That was your
whole plan. Get her. – It was scientific.
– I just got overexcited. But wasn’t it incredible, Pete? I mean,
we actually touched the etheric plane. You know what this could
mean to the university? Yeah, it’s gonna be bigger than the
microchip. Ray, I’m very excited. I wouldn’t say the experience
was completely wasted. According to these new readings,
I think we have an excellent chance of actually catching a ghost
and holding it indefinitely. Well, this is great. If the ionization rate
is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads.
In a spiritual sense, of course. Spengs, you serious about
this catching a ghost? I’m always serious. Egon, I’m gonna take back some of
the things I’ve said about you. You… You’ve earned it. The possibilities are limitless.
Hey, Dean Yeager. I trust you’re moving us to
better quarters on campus. No, you’re being moved off campus. The Board of Regents has decided
to terminate your grant. You are to vacate these
premises immediately. This is preposterous.
I demand an explanation. Fine. This university
will no longer continue any funding of any kind for
your group’s activities. But the kids love us. Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose
of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science
as some kind of dodge or hustle. Your theories are the worst
kind of popular tripe. Your methods are sloppy, and your
conclusions are highly questionable. You are a poor scientist,
Dr. Venkman. I see. And you have no place in this
department or in this university. This is a major disgrace.
Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn’t touch us with
a 10-meter cattle prod. You’re always so concerned
about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when
he was working as a patent clerk. – You know how much a patent clerk earns?
– No Personally, I like the university.
They gave us money and facilities. We didn’t have to produce anything. You’ve never been out of college. You
don’t know what it’s like out there. I’ve worked in the private
sector. They expect results. For whatever reasons, Ray, call it fate, call it luck,
call it karma, I believe that everything
happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined
to get thrown out of this dump. – For what purpose?
– To go into business for ourselves. This ecto-containment system that
Spengler and I have in mind is gonna require a load of bread to capitalize.
Where are we gonna get the money? I don’t know. I don’t know. You’re never gonna
regret this, Ray. My parents left me that
house. I was born there. You’re not gonna lose the house.
Everybody has three mortgages nowadays. But at 19 percent? You didn’t
even bargain with the guy. Ray, for your information,
the interest rate alone for the first five years
comes to 95,000 dollars. Will you guys relax? We are on
the threshold of establishing the indispensable defense
science of the next decade: Professional paranormal
investigations and eliminations. The franchise rights alone will make
us rich beyond our wildest dreams. There’s office space, sleeping
quarters and showers on the next floor and there’s a full kitchen
on the top level. It just seems a little pricey for a unique
fixer-upper opportunity, that’s all. What do you think, Egon? I think this building
should be condemned. There’s serious metal fatigue in
all the load-bearing members. The wiring is substandard. It’s completely
inadequate for our power needs. And the neighborhood is
like a demilitarized zone. Hey, does this pole still work? Wow, this place is great.
When can we move in? You gotta try this pole.
I’m gonna get my stuff. Hey, we should stay here tonight,
sleep here. You know, to try it out. – I think we’ll take it.
– Good. Hi. – Oh, Dana, it’s you.
– Oh, hi. Yes, Louis, it’s me. – I thought it was the drugstore.
– Oh, are you sick? No, no, I’m fine. I feel great. Just ordered some more vitamins
and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped20-Minute Workouton my
machine and played it back at high speed so it only took 10 minutes.
I got a great workout. – Good.
– Want to come in for a mineral water? Oh, I’d really like to, Louis, but I have
to go to rehearsal now. Excuse me. No sweat. I’ll take a
rain check on that. I always have plenty of low-sodium
mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house.
But you already know that. – Yeah, I know that.
– Listen, that reminds me… I’m having a big party
for all my clients. It’s my fourth anniversary
as an accountant, you know. And even though you do your own tax
return, which you shouldn’t do, I’d like you to stop by, being
that you’re my neighbor and all. Well, thank you, Louis.
I’ll really try to stop by. Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn’t
leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The creep down the hall
phoned the manager. That’s strange. I didn’t
realize I left it on. Oh, yeah, you know what I did? I climbed on
the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable but I couldn’t get in, so you know what
I did? I turned up my TV real loud too so everyone would think that both our
TVs had something wrong with them. Okay, so I’ll see you later,
huh? I’ll give you a call. I gotta have a shower.Are you troubled by strange
noises in the middle of the night?Do you experience feelings of
dread in your basement or attic?Have you or any of your family ever
seen a spook, specter or ghost?If the answer is yes, then
don’t wait another minute.Pick up your phone and call the
professionals. Ghostbusters.Our courteous and efficient
staff is on call 24 hours a dayto serve all your
supernatural-elimination needs.We’re ready to believe you.Zuul. You don’t think it’s too subtle? You don’t think people are gonna
drive down and not see the sign? You can’t park that here! Everybody can relax,
I found the car. Needs some suspension
work and shocks and brakes, brake pads, linings,
steering box, transmission, rear end. – How much?
– Only 4800. Maybe new rings, also
mufflers, a little wiring. – Janine, any calls?
– No. – Any messages?
– No. – Any customers?
– No, Dr. Venkman. It’s a good job, isn’t it? Type something, will you?
We’re paying for this stuff. Don’t stare at me.
You’ve got the bug eyes. Janine? Sorry about the “bug eyes”
thing. I’ll be in my office. You’re very handy. I can tell. – I bet you like to read a lot too.
– Print is dead. Oh, that’s very fascinating
to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I’m
too intellectual, but I think it’s a fabulous
way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball.
Do you have any hobbies? I collect spores, molds and fungus. Hello? Oh, excuse me. Is this…?
This is the Ghostbusters’ office. Yes, it is. Can I help you? I don’t have an appointment. I’d
like to talk to someone, please. I’m Peter Venkman. May I help you? Um, well, I don’t know. What I have
to say may sound a little unusual. That’s all we get, day in,
day out, around this place. – Come into my office, Miss…
– Barrett. Dana Barrett. And this voice said, “Zuul,” and then I
slammed the refrigerator door and I left. That was two days ago, and I
haven’t been back to my apartment. Generally, you don’t see that kind
of behavior in a major appliance. What do you think it was? Well, if I knew what it was,
I wouldn’t be here. Egon, what do you think? She’s telling the truth.
At least she thinks she is. Well, of course I’m telling the truth.
Who would make up a story like that? Some are people who
just want attention. Others are just nutballs who
come in off the street. You know what it could be? Past-life
experience intruding on present time. Could be erased memory stored
in the collective unconscious. I wouldn’t rule out clairvoyance
or telepathic contact either. I’m sorry, I don’t believe
in any of those things. Well, that’s all right. I don’t either.
But there are some things we do, standard procedures in a case like
this, which often bring us results. Well, I could go to Hall of Records and check
out the structural details in the building. Maybe the building itself has a
history of psychic turbulence. Right. Good idea. I could look for the name
“Zuul” in the usual literature.– Spates Catalog.Yeah. – Tobin’s Spirit Guide.Tell you what, I’ll take Miss Barrett
back to her apartment and check her out. I’ll go check out Miss
Barrett’s apartment. Okay? Okay. – Thank you.
– It’s okay. Please, let me. If something’s gonna happen here,
I want it to happen to me first. That’s the closet. They hate this. I like to torture them. That’s right, boys.
It’s Dr. Venkman! It’s a lot of space. – Just you?
– Yes. Good. What is that thing you’re doing? It’s technical. It’s one
of our little toys. I see. That’s the bedroom. But nothing
ever happened in there. What a crime. You know, you don’t
act like a scientist. – They’re usually pretty stiff.
– You’re more like a game-show host. That’s the kitchen, huh? – Dana, are these the eggs?
– Yes. See I was over there, and these eggs
just jumped right out of their shells – and started to cook on the counter.
– That is weird. And that’s when I started to hear that
awful noise coming from the refrigerator. Dr. Venkman, you’ve come all this way.
Would you like to check the refrigerator? Better check the fridge. Good call. Oh, my God. Look at all the junk food. – No. Goddamn it! This wasn’t…
– You actually eat this stuff? Look, this wasn’t here.
There was nothing here. There was a space and there was a building
or something with flames coming out of it. And there were creatures writhing around,
and they were growling and snarling. And there were flames, and I
heard a voice say, “Zuul.” It was right here. I’m sorry, I’m just not
getting any reading. Well, are you sure you’re
using that thing correctly? I think so. But I’m sure there
are no animals in there. Well, that’s great. Either I have a monster in my
kitchen, or I’m completely crazy. I don’t think you’re crazy. Oh, good. That makes
me feel so much better. Let me tell you
something about myself. I come home from work to my
place, and all I have is my work. – There’s nothing else in my life.
– Dr. Venkman. I meet you, and I say, “My God, there’s
someone with the same problem I have.” Yes, we both have the
same problem. You. I’m gonna go for broke. – I am madly in love with you.
– I don’t believe this. Will you please leave? And then she threw me out of her
life. She thought I was a creep. She thought I was a geek, and
she probably wasn’t the first. You are so odd. – No.
– I’ve got it! – No, no, no, no
– I’ll prove myself to you. That’s not necessary. – Yeah, I’ll solve your little problem.
– Okay. And then you’ll say, “Pete Venkman’s
a guy who can get things done.” – “I wonder what makes him tick.”
– I wonder. “I wonder if he’d be interested
in knowing what makes me tick.” I’ll bet you’re gonna be thinking
about me after I’m gone. I bet I am. No kiss? To our first customer. To our first and only customer. I’m gonna need to
draw some petty cash. I should take her out to dinner.
We don’t want to lose her. This magnificent feast here represents
the last of the petty cash. Hey, slow down. Chew your food. Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they’re serious. You do? You have? No kidding. Uh-huh. Well, just
give me the address. Yes, of course. Oh, they’ll
be totally discreet. Thank you. We got one! It’s a call! Come on! Hey, anybody see a ghost? – Thank you for coming so quickly.
– Jesus! The guests are starting to ask questions,
and I’m running out of excuses. Has it happened before? Well, most of the original staff
knows about the 12th floor. – The disturbances, I mean.
– Yeah. But it’s been quiet for years
up until two weeks ago. It was never, ever
this bad, though. – Did you ever report it to anyone?
– No. Heavens, no. The owners don’t like us
to even talk about it. I hope we could take
care of this quietly. – It’s done.
– Tonight. Yes, sir. Don’t worry. We handle this kind
of thing all the time. What are you supposed to be,
some kind of a cosmonaut? No, we’re exterminators. Somebody
saw a cockroach up on 12th. – That’s gotta be some cockroach.
– Bite your head off, man. – Going up?
– I’ll take the next one. You know, it’s just occurred to me we really haven’t had a completely
successful test of this equipment. – I blame myself.
– So do I. – Well, no sense worrying about it now.
– Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed
nuclear accelerator on his back. Yep. Well, let’s get ready.
Switch me on. What the hell are you doing? – Sorry.
– I’m sorry. We thought you were someone else. Successful test. I guess so. – I think we’d better split up.
– Good idea. Yeah, we can do more
damage that way. Venkman? Venkman! Disgusting blob. I’m gonna have to hold him myself. Come in, Ray. Venkman! I saw it,
I saw it, I saw it! It’s right here, Ray. It’s looking at me.He’s an ugly little
spud, isn’t he?I think he can hear you, Ray. Don’t move. It won’t hurt you. Venkman! Venkman! Pete! Venkman, what happened?
Are you okay? He slimed me. That’s great!
Actual physical contact! – Can you move? – Ray. Ray! Come in, please.I feel so funky. Spengler! I’m with Venkman. He got slimed!That’s great, Ray.
Save some for me.Get down here, right away!
It just went into a ballroom.Okay, we’ll be right there. Okay, sir, if you and your staff
could please wait out here, we’ll take care of everything. There it is. On the ceiling. That’s the one that got me. All right, boys. Ready? Throw it! I did that. I did that. – That’s my fault.
– It’s okay. The table broke the fall. There’s something very important
I forgot to tell you. – What?
– Don’t cross the streams. – Why?
– It would be bad. I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing.
What do you mean, “bad”? Try to imagine all life as you
know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body
exploding at the speed of light. Total protonic reversal. Right, that’s bad. Okay,
important safety tip. Thanks, Egon. All right, Ray, take the left.
Egon, take the right. Okay, Ray, just give me
one high and outside. Ray! Egon! Okay, all right.
Hold it, hold it, hold it! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Nice shooting, Tex! I assure you, Mrs. Van Houten,
there is no problem with the room. It’ll be ready promptly on time as
soon as your guests are with us. The last throw took something out
of him, but he’s gonna move. I need some room to put the
trap down. Give me some room. You’ll excuse me, please. – Gotta get this in the clear.
– Wait, wait, wait! I’ve always wanted to do this. And… – The flowers are still standing!
– Okay, on my go-signal. Spengler, I want a confinement
stream from you, okay? Go! Okay, hold him up there. He’s
gonna move. Hold him up! Go! – It’s working, Ray.
– Start bringing him down. You got him. Don’t
cross the stream. Maybe now you’ll never slime a guy
with a positron collider, huh? Venkman, shorten your stream.
I don’t want my face burned off. All right, I’m opening the trap now.
Don’t look directly into the trap. I looked at the trap, Ray. Turn your streams off as soon as I close
the trap. Get ready. I’m closing it. Now! It’s in there. Hey. Well, that wasn’t such
a chore, now, was it? Mr. Smith, quickly.
I want that door open now! Donald, stand over there. We came, we saw, we kicked its ass! Did you see it? What is it? We got it. What is it? Will there
be any more of them? Sir, what you had there was
what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm,
or a class-five full-roaming vapor. Real nasty one too. And now, let’s talk seriously. Now,
for the entrapment… we’re gonna have to ask you for
four big ones, $4000 for that. But we are having a special this week on
proton charging and storage of the beast. That’s only gonna come to
1000 dollars, fortunately. Five thousand dollars? I had no idea
it’d be so much. I won’t pay it. That’s all right. We can just
put it right back in there. We certainly can, Dr. Venkman. No! All right! Anything. Thanks so much. Thank you. Hope we
can help you again. Coming through! One class-five
free-roaming vapor.Good Morning, I’m Roger Grimsby.
Today the entire Eastern seaboardis alive with talk of incidents
of paranormal activity.Alleged ghost-sightings and
related supernatural occurrenceshave been reported across
the entire tri-state area.Everybody has heard ghost
stories around the campfire. Heck, my grandma used to spin
yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the
farm where she grew up. But now, as if some
unforeseen authority… Stand aside, please! Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in
topic today, ghosts and ghostbusting. The controversy builds,
more sightings are reported. Some maintain that these professional paranormal eliminators
in New York are the cause of it all. I got it! I got it! Pete! Ray!Still making headlines
all across the country,the Ghostbusters are at it again, this
time at the fashionable dance club,The Rose. The boys in gray slugged
it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist,then stayed on to
dance the night awaywith some of the lovely ladies
who witnessed the disturbance.This is Casey Kasem.
Now on with the countdown.Twenty-four hours a day,
seven days a week. No job is too big.
No fee is too big. Is it just a mist, or does
it have arms and legs?As they say in TV, I’m sure
there’s one big questionon everybody’s mind and I imagine
you are the man to answer that.How is Elvis, and have
you seen him lately?Do you believe in UFOs,
astral projections, mental telepathy,
ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography,
telekinetic movement, full-trance mediums, the Loch Ness
monster and the theory of Atlantis? Uh, if there’s a steady paycheck in
it, I’ll believe anything you say. I gotta get some sleep. I’m dying. You don’t look good. – I don’t?
– Well, you’ve looked better. You didn’t used to look like this. Can you hold, please? Here’s the paper on the
Brooklyn. She paid with Visa. Here’s tonight’s worksheet. Oh, great. Two more free repeaters. This is Winston Zeddmore.
He’s here about the job. Beautiful. You’re hired.
Ray Stantz, Pete Venkman. – Congratulations.
– Can you help me, please? Welcome aboard. I don’t know where they get these
guest conductors. I mean… someone should tell him it’s not gonna
do much good to scream at us in German. Well, I don’t think that the
man is competent to conduct a major symphony orchestra. – Um, could you wait here a minute?
– Huh? Uh, sure. Dr. Venkman. This is a surprise. – That was a wonderful rehearsal.
– You heard that? Yes. You’re the best
one in your row. Oh, thank you. You’re good. Most people can’t hear
me with the whole orchestra playing. Ah, I don’t have to take
this abuse from you. I got hundreds of people
dying to abuse me. I know. You’re a big celebrity now. Do you have some information
for me on my case? Who’s the stiff? The stiff happens to be one of the
finest musicians in the world. Do you have some information
for me, please? Well, sure, but I prefer to
give it to you in private. – Why don’t you tell me now?
– Okay. I found the name Zuul for you. Well, the name Zuul refers to a demigod
worshiped around 6000 B.C. by the… What’s that word? – “Hittites.”
– Hittites, the Mesopotamians
and the Sumerians. “Zuul was the minion of Gozer.” What’s Gozer? – Gozer was very big in Sumeria.
– Well, what’s he doing in my icebox? I’m working on that. If we could
get together Thursday night, I’m thinking 9-ish, you know,
we could exchange information. – I can’t see you Thursday. I’m busy.
– Miss Barrett… you seem to think there is something
wrong up here that says, in your mind: “He enjoys taking his evenings off
and spending it with his clients.” No. I’m making a special exception
in your case because… I respect you. It’s corny, but I respect you as
an artist. And as a dresser too. This is a magnificent coordination
you have going here today. I’ll see you Thursday. I’ll bring theRoylance Guide and we’ll eat and read. – So who the hell is that?
– He’s just a friend. – A friend?
– An old friend. Bye! Well, I’ll see you Thursday! I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you, sir.
I’m glad you’re feeling much better. You’re still very pale,
though. A little sun. – Well, what does he do?
– He’s a scientist. This is where we store all the vapors
and entities and slimers that we trap. Very simple, really. A loaded trap
here. Open, unlock the system. Insert the trap. Release. Close, lock the system.
Set your entry grid. Neutronize your field. And… when the light is green,
the trap is clean. The ghost is incarcerated here in
our custom-made storage facility. There’s a man from the EPA here to
see you. He’s waiting in your office. – EPA? What’s he want?
– I don’t know. All I do know is I’ve been working
two weeks without a break, and you promised me
you’d hire more help. Janine, someone with
your qualifications would have no trouble finding
a topflight job in either the food service or
housekeeping industries. – Are you gonna answer that?
– I’ve quit better jobs than this. Ghostbusters! What do you want? – Can I help you?
– I’m Walter Peck. I represent the Environmental
Protection Agency, the third district. Great. How’s it going down there? Are you Peter Venkman? Yes, I’m… Dr. Venkman. Exactly what are you a
doctor of, Mr. Venkman? Well, I have Ph.D.’s in
parapsychology and psychology. I see. And now you catch ghosts. Yeah. You could say that. And how many ghosts have
you caught, Mr. Venkman? – I’m not at liberty to say.
– And where do you put these ghosts once you catch them? Into a storage facility. And would this storage facility
be located on these premises? – Yes.
– And may I see this storage facility? No. And why not, Mr. Venkman? Because you did not
use the magic word. What is the magic
word, Mr. Venkman? “Please.” May I please see the storage
facility, Mr. Venkman? Why do you want to see
the storage facility? Well, because I’m curious. I want to know more
about what you do here. Frankly, there’ve been a lot
of wild stories in the media and we want to assess any possible
environmental impact from your operation. For instance, the
presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste
chemicals in your basement. Now, you either show me what is down
there, or I come back with a court order. You go get a court order, and I’ll sue
your ass for wrongful prosecution! You can have it your
way, Mr. Venkman. I’m worried, Ray. It’s
getting crowded in there, and all my recent data points to
something big on the horizon. What do you mean “big”? Well, let’s say this Twinkie
represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy
in the New York area. According to this morning’s
sample, it would be a Twinkie 35 feet long, weighing
approximately 600 pounds. That’s a big Twinkie. We could be on the verge
of a fourfold cross-rip, a PKE surge of incredible,
even dangerous, proportions. We just had a visit from the
Environmental Protection Agency. – How’s the grid holding up?
– Not good. Tell him about the Twinkie. What about the Twinkie? – Oh, Dana, it’s you.
– Hello, Louis. You gotta come in here. You’re
missing a classic party. Yes, well, I would, Louis,
but I have a date coming. You made a date – tonight?
– Well, I… I’m sorry, Louis. I forgot. Oh, that’s okay. You
can bring him along. All right. Maybe
we’ll stop by, okay? That’s great. I’ll tell
everybody you’re coming. We’re gonna play Twister, we’re
gonna do some breakdancing… Hey… Hey, let me in! It’s Louis!
Somebody, let me in! Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. I’ve been busy. Well… No, everything is fine. Yeah. No, just that one time. Oh, I am. I will. I won’t. Mom, um,
I have to go. I have a date. Yes. No, no one you know. It’s… Well, he’s a Ghostbuster. Those guys on TV. Yes, well, I’ll have
to let you know. Okay. Love to Dad. Right. Bye. Bye. Oh, Shit. Do you have any Excedrin
or Extra Strength Tylenol? Gee, I think all I got is
acetylsalicylic acid. Generic. See, I can get 600 tablets of that for
the same price as 300 of the name brand. That makes good financial
sense. Good advice. Hey, this is real smoked salmon
from Nova Scotia, Canada, 24.95 a pound. It only cost me 14.12
after tax, though. I’m giving this whole thing
as a promotional expense. That’s why I invited clients instead of
friends. You having a good time, Marv? How you doing? Why don’t you have some
of the Brie. It’s at room temperature. You think it’s too warm
in here for the Brie? Louis, I’m going home. Don’t leave yet. Listen,
maybe if we start dancing, other people will join in. Okay. Oh, don’t move. I just
gotta get the door. – Ted! Annette!
– Hi. I’m glad you could come. How
you doing? Give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted
and Annette Fleming. How are you? Ted has a small carpet-cleaning
business in receivership. Annette’s drawing a salary from a
deferred bonus from two years ago. They got 15,000 left on
the house at 8 percent. So they’re okay! Does anybody want
to play Parcheesi? Okay, who brought the dog? Help! There’s a bear loose
in my apartment! Help! Help! Help! – What?
– A bear in his apartment. I’m gonna bring this up at
the next tenants’ meeting. There’s not supposed to be
any pets in the building. Let me in. There’s gotta be
a way in here. I gotta get… Somebody, let me in! Nice doggy. Cute little pooch. Maybe I got a Milk-Bone. – Hey, what happened?
– Some moron brought a cougar to a party,
and it went berserk. Hi, I’m going up to
Dana Barrett’s. Okay. Hello? That’s a different look
for you, isn’t it? Are you the Keymaster? Not that I know of. Are you the Keymaster? Yes. I’m a friend of his. He
told me to meet him here. – I didn’t get your name.
– I am Zuul. I am the Gatekeeper. Oh. – What are we doing today, Zuul?
– Must prepare for the coming of Gozer. Gozer, huh? The Destructor. Are we still going out? You know, you could pick up the
place if you’re expecting someone. Do you want this body? Is this a trick question? I guess the roses worked, huh? Take me now, sub-creature. We never talk anymore. Easy. I make it a rule never to get
involved with possessed people. Actually, it’s more of a
guideline than a rule. You know, I can… I want you inside me. Go ahead. No, I can’t. Sounds like you got at least
two people in there already. Might be a little crowded. Come on, why don’t
you just quit trying to upset and disturb
Dr. Venkman and just relax. Lie down there. Relax.
Put your hands on your chest. What I’d really like
to do is talk to Dana. I want to talk to Dana. Dana, it’s Peter. There is no Dana.
There is only Zuul. Oh, Zuulie, you nut. Now, come on. Come on, I want to
talk to Dana. Dana. Just relax. Come on. Dana. Dana. Can I talk to Dana? There is no Dana, only Zuul. What a lovely singing
voice you must have. Now, I’m gonna count
to three, Zuulie. And if I don’t talk to Dana… there’s gonna be some real trouble
in this apartment, I think. One. Two. Two and a half. Please come down. I am the Keymaster. The
Destructor is coming. The Traveler. The Destroyer. Gatekeeper. I am Vinz. Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer. Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the
Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper? Hey, he pulls the wagon, I make
the deals. You want a ride? Wait for the sign. Then all
prisoners will be released. You will perish in flame, you
and all your kind! Gatekeeper! What an asshole. – Dropping off or picking up?
– Dropping off. Just a moment. – You a Ghostbuster?
– Yes. We picked up this guy. Now we
don’t know what to do with him. Bellevue doesn’t want him, and I’m
afraid to put him in the lock up. I know you guys are into this stuff,
so I figured we’d check with you. All right. Are you the Gatekeeper? You better bring him inside. You are so kind to
take care of that man. You know, you are a
real humanitarian. I don’t think he’s human. What did you say your name was? Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer. According to this, his
name’s Louis Tully. Lives on Central Park West. Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tully? – Do I?
– Yes, have some. Yes, have some. Vinz, you said before you
were waiting for a sign. – What sign are you waiting for?
– Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of
the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii,
the Traveler came as a large Torb. Then, during the third reconciliation of
the last of the Meketrex supplicants, they chose a new form for
him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew
what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar
that day, I can tell you. – Egon.
– Excuse me. There’s something very
strange about that man. Listen, I’m usually very psychic,
and I have a terrible feeling that something awful is
gonna happen to you. I’m afraid you’re gonna die. I’ll get it. – Hello? – Egon, it’s Peter.– Thanks, I’ve got it.
– I have news from the world of Gozer.– What is it, Peter?
– I’m here with Dana Barrett. It seems the Goz has
been putting some moves – on my would-be girlfriend. – How is she?I think we can get her a
guest shot onWild Kingdom.I just whacked her up with
about 300 cc’s of Thorazine. She’s gonna take a little nap now,
but she says she’s the Gatekeeper. – Does that make any sense to you? – Some.I just met the Keymaster.
He’s here with me now. Oh, wonderful. We have to
get these two together. I think that would be
extraordinarily dangerous. Okay, well, hold onto him.
I’ll be there in a little while. Good. Thank you, Vinz. We have to find
Ray. I need him here immediately. Bad news, honey,
I gotta go to work. Hey, will you stay here
in bed until I get back? Hey, Ray, do you believe in God? Never met him. Yeah, well, I do. And I love
Jesus’ style, you know? This roof cap is made of a
magnesium-tungsten alloy. What are you so
involved with there? These are the blueprints for
the structural ironwork in Dana Barrett’s apartment building,
and they’re very, very strange. Hey, Ray, do you remember
something in the Bible about the last days, when the dead
would rise from the grave? I remember Revelations 7:12. And I looked as he
opened the sixth seal. And behold, there was
a great earthquake. And the sun became as
black as sackcloth. And the moon became as blood. And the seas boiled.
And the skies fell. – Judgment day.
– Judgment day. Every ancient religion has its own
myth about the end of the world. Myth? Ray, has it
ever occurred to you that maybe the reason
we’ve been so busy lately is because the dead have
been rising from the grave? – How about a little music?
– Yeah. This way. Excuse me. Excuse me. Just where do
you think you’re going? Step aside, miss, or I’ll have you arrested
for interfering with the police… Oh, no. Hold on. I’ve seen TV.
I know you can’t come in here without a warrant or
a writ or something. Cease and Desist All Commerce order.
Seizure of Premises and Chattels. Ban on the use of Public Utilities
for Non-Licensed Waste Handlers and a federal Entry
and Inspection order. Vinz, there’s one more
test I’d like to perform. Egon. I tried to stop them.
He says they have a warrant. – Excuse me, this is private property.
– Shut this off. Shut these all off. I’m warning you. Turning off these
machines would be extremely hazardous. I’ll tell you what’s hazardous.
You’re facing federal prosecution for at least a half a dozen
environmental violations. Now, either you shut off these
beams, or we shut them off for you. Try to understand, this is a
high-voltage laser containment system. Simply turning it off would be
like dropping a bomb in the city. Don’t patronize me. I’m not grotesquely
stupid, like the people you bilk. At ease, officer.
I’m Peter Venkman. I think there’s just been a
slight misunderstanding, and I want to cooperate
in any way that I can. Forget it, Venkman. You had
your chance to cooperate, but you thought it’d be more fun to
insult me. Now it is my turn, wiseass. He wants to shut down the
protection grid, Peter. You shut that thing down, and we are
not gonna be held responsible… – You’ll be responsible. Shut it off.
– No, we won’t be held responsible. Don’t shut it off. I’m warning you. I’ve never seen anything like
this before. I don’t know… Yeah, I’m not interested in
your opinion. Just shut it off. – My friend, don’t be a jerk.
– Step aside. If he does that again,
you can shoot him. You do your job, pencil-neck.
Don’t tell me how to do mine. – Thank you, officer.
– Shut it off! Oh, shit. Clear the building! This is it. This is the sign. Yeah, it’s a sign, all right.
We’re going out of business. Hey, aim up there. – What happened?
– Storage facility blew. – He shut off the protection grid.
– Oh, great. – That’s bad, isn’t it?
– Yeah. – Where’s the Keymaster?
– Shit. – Who’s the Keymaster?
– Oh, come on. Hold it. I want this man arrested. These men are in criminal violation
of the Environmental Protection Act. – This explosion is a direct result of it.
– Your mother! Come on, hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Columbia Building, 57th Street.
I’m in a hurry, so let’s not dawdle. Hey, guard! Look, I want to make a phone call. I just work with these guys.
I mean, I wasn’t even there. The structure of this roof cap is exactly
like the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify
dead pulsars in deep space. Cold-riveted girders with
cores of pure selenium. Everybody getting this so far? So what? I guess they just don’t
make them like they used to, huh? No. Nobody ever
made them like this. I mean, the architect was either a
certified genius or an authentic wacko. Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don’t know
anything about metallurgy, engineering or physics and just
tell me what the hell is going on. You never studied. The whole building is a huge
superconductive antenna that was designed and built
expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating
spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend lives in the
corner penthouse of spook central. She’s not my girlfriend.
I find her interesting because she’s a client and because
she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers.
She barks. She drools. She claws. It’s not the girl, Peter,
it’s the building. Something terrible is
about to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door.
The architect’s name was Ivo Shandor. I found it inTobin’s Spirit Guide.
He was also a doctor. He performed a lot of
unnecessary surgery. And then, in 1920, he
started a secret society. – Let me guess. Gozer worshipers.
– Right. No studying. After the first World War, Shandor decided
that society was too sick to survive. And he wasn’t alone. He had close to
a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals
up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring
about the end of the world. And now it looks like
it may actually happen.So be good
For goodness’ sakeWhoa, somebody’s comingWe have to get out of here. We’ve
gotta find a judge or something. Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, hey, hey. Hold it. Are we actually going to go
before a federal judge and say that some moldy Babylonian god is
gonna drop in on Central Park West – and start tearing up the city?
– Sumerian, not Babylonian. – Yeah, big difference.
– No offense, but I gotta get my own lawyer. Okay, Ghostbusters. The mayor
wants to see you guys. The whole island’s
going crazy. Let’s go. I gotta split. The mayor wants to
rap with me about some things. – I am the Keymaster.
– I am the Gatekeeper. – Back. Back. Stay back.
– Stay back. Stay back. I’ve got a city blowing up, and you
guys are not giving me any answers. We’re blocking the
bridges, the roads… The Ghostbusters are
here, Mr. Mayor. The Ghostbusters.
Okay, the Ghostbusters. Hey, and where’s this Peck? Peck. I am Walter Peck, sir, and
I’m prepared to make a full report. These men are consummate
snowball artists. They use sense and nerve gases
to induce hallucinations. People think they’re seeing ghosts,
and they call these bozos, who conveniently show up
to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show. Everything was fine with our
system until the power grid – was shut off by dickless here.
– They caused an explosion. – Is this true?
– Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick. Hey, come on. Knock it off.
Hey, break it up! – All right.
– Well, that’s what I heard. This is City Hall. Now, what am I gonna do
here, John? What is this? All I know is that was no light
show we saw this morning. I’ve seen every form of
combustion known to man, but this beats the hell out of me. The walls in the 53rd
Precinct were bleeding. – How do you explain that?
– Good afternoon, gentlemen. Oh, Your Eminence. – How are you, Lenny?
– You’re looking good, Mike. We’re in a real fix here. What
do you think I should do? Lenny, officially, the church
will not take any position on the religious implications
of these phenomena. Personally, Lenny… I think it’s a sign from God.
But don’t quote me on that. I think that’s a smart move, Mike. I’m not gonna call
a press conference and tell everyone to start praying. Uh… I’m Winston Zeddmore, Your Honor. Look, I’ve only been with the
company for a couple weeks. But I gotta tell you,
these things are real. Since I joined these men, I have
seen shit that’ll turn you white. Well, you can believe Mr. Pecker. – My name is Peck.
– Or you could accept the fact that this city is headed for a
disaster of biblical proportions. – Well, what do you mean, “biblical”?
– What he means is Old Testament. – Real wrath-of-God-type stuff.
– Exactly. Fire and brimstone coming down from
the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. Forty years of darkness.
Earthquakes. Volcanoes. Dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together.
Mass hysteria. Enough! I get the point. But what if you’re wrong? If I’m wrong, nothing happens.
We go to jail, peacefully, quietly. We’ll enjoy it. But if I’m right, and we can stop this thing… Lenny, you will have
saved the lives of millions of registered voters. I don’t believe you’re seriously
considering listening to these men. Get him out of here. – Bye.
– I’ll fix you. I’m gonna fix you. I’m gonna get you a nice fruit
basket. I’m going to miss him. All right. All right. We got work to do. Now,
what do you need from me? Come on, let’s run some red lights! Hello, New York. Hello, everybody! Dr. Ray Stantz, would you please?
The heart of the Ghostbusters. Thank you. They love you.
They love you here. – I like that shirt, friend.
– Ghostbusters! All right! Gotta run. Got a date with a ghost. Okay, whatever happens,
let’s be professional. We might have to put a little
overtime in on this one. There they are. There they are. I was in no way prepared for that. It’s all right. Don’t worry.
We’re fine. We can handle it. We can take it. They
want to play rough. Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters!
Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! – Wanna play rough?
– Yeah. Let’s do it. Where are we? It looks like we’re in
the teens somewhere. Well, when we get to 20,
tell me. I’m gonna throw up. – Twenty-two. Is this it?
– Yep. Art deco. Very nice. – Where is it?
– It’s at the end of the hall. Hey, where do these stairs go? They go up. Okay, go ahead. Come on. Go ahead. Watch it. Go ahead. Dana. Okay, so she’s a dog. It’s a girl. – It’s Gozer.
– I thought Gozer was a man. – It’s whatever it wants to be.
– Whatever it is, it’s gotta get by us. Right. Go get her, Ray! Gozer the Gozerian? Good evening. As a duly designated
representative of the city, county and state of New York, I order you to cease any and
all supernatural activity and return forthwith to
your place of origin or to the nearest convenient
parallel dimension. That ought to do it.
Thanks very much, Ray. Are you a god? – No.
– Then die! Ray, when someone asks you if
you’re a god, you say, “Yes.” All right. This chick is toast. – Got your stick?
– Holding it. Heat them up! Smoking! – Make them hard.
– Ready! Let’s show this prehistoric bitch
how we do things downtown. Throw it! – Nimble little minx, isn’t she?
– We better go full stream. Aim for the flattop. Wasn’t so hard. We neutronized it. You know what that means?
A complete particle reversal. And we had the tools.
We had the talent. It’s Miller time. – Ray, this looks extraordinarily bad.
– Oh, no. What? Look out! Sub-creatures. Gozer the
Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar the
Traveler has come. Choose and perish. What do you mean, “choose”?
We don’t understand. Choose. Choose the form
of the Destructor. Oh, I get it. I get it.
Oh, very cute. Whatever we think of. If we
think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will appear and
destroy us, so empty your heads. Don’t think of anything. We’ve
only got one shot at this. – The choice is made.
– Whoa! The Traveler has come. Nobody choosed anything. – Did you choose anything?
– No. – Did you?
– My mind is totally blank. I didn’t choose anything! I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there. What? What just popped in there? – I tried to think…
– Look! – No! It can’t be.
– What is it? – It can’t be.
– What did you do, Ray? Oh, shit. It’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Now, there’s something
you don’t see every day. I tried to think of the
most harmless thing. Something I loved
from my childhood. Something that could never, ever
possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft. Nice thinking, Ray. We used to roast Stay
Puft marshmallows by the fire at Camp Waconda. Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon.
What have you got left? Sorry, Venkman. I’m terrified beyond
the capacity for rational thought. – Oh, no.
– Mother pus bucket. Nobody steps on a
church in my town. One, two, three, roast him. Funny, us going out like this. Killed by a 100-foot
marshmallow man. We’ve been going about this all wrong.
This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He’s a sailor. He’s in New York. We get this guy
laid, we won’t have any trouble. I have a radical idea. The
door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle
flow through the gate. How? – We’ll cross the streams.
– Excuse me, Egon. You said crossing the
streams was bad. – Cross the streams.
– You’re gonna endanger us. You’re gonna endanger our client, the nice lady who paid us in
advance before she became a dog. Not necessarily. There’s definitely
a very slim chance we’ll survive. I love this plan. I’m excited to
be a part of it. Let’s do it. This job is definitely not
worth 11,500 a year. Hurry. See you on the other side, Ray. Nice working with you, Dr. Venkman. Let’s turn them on, Spengler! Now, Spengler! Get out of here! – Winston.
– Yeah. – Are you all right?
– Yeah. Venkman? Spengler! Venkman! Spengler. Oh, Spengler. Oh, are you okay? I feel like the floor of a taxicab. – Venky!
– Yeah, where are you? Oh, thank God. – You okay?
– I’m all right. – You all right?
– I’m all right. – You all right?
– Yeah. You okay? Fine. Oh, it smells like
barbecued dog hair. Oh, Venkman. Oh, Venkman, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just… I just forgot. Look! Somebody turn on the lights! – Help! Somebody!
– Go check on that little guy. What happened? Oh. Oh. Where am I? Oh, hi. You’ll be all right. Boy, the superintendent’s
gonna be pissed. Are you okay? Who are you guys? We’re the Ghostbusters. Who does your taxes? You know, Mr. Tully, you are
a most fortunate individual. – I know.
– You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional cross rip
since the Tunguska blast of 1909. – Felt great.
– We’d like to get a sample – of your brain tissue.
– Okay. I love this town!♪ Ghostbusters! ♪♪ If there’s something strange
in your neighborhood ♪♪ Who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters! ♪♪ If there’s something weird
and it don’t look good ♪♪ Who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters! ♪♪ I ain’t afraid of no ghost ♪♪ If you’re seeing things
running through your head ♪♪ Who can ya call?– ♪ Ghostbusters! ♪
– Egon!♪ An invisible man
sleeping in your bed ♪♪ Ow, who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters! ♪What’s going on? Does anybody want to interview me? I’m an eyewitness. I was up there.♪ I ain’t afraid of no ghost ♪I want to go with them in the car.♪ I ain’t afraid of no ghost ♪♪ Who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters! ♪♪ If ya all alone
pick up the phone… ♪♪ And call
Ghostbusters! ♪♪ I ain’t afraid of no ghost ♪♪ I hear it likes the girls ♪♪ I ain’t afraid of no ghost ♪♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪♪ Who ya gonna call?
Ghostbusters! ♪♪ If you’ve had a dose of a
freaky ghost baby ♪♪ You better call
Ghostbusters! ♪♪ Let me tell you somethin’
Bustin’ makes me feel good ♪♪ I ain’t afraid of no ghost ♪♪ Don’t get caught alone, oh no