REGURGITATED (Krogzilla #5)


There was a lot of pee-pee going on down there!
Oh, yeah! Shut Up! Cartoons Born at the edge of the world,
Product of science, a fire-breathing giant, At war with the folly of man
And man nearly destroyed him, The change unemployed him,
He’s KROGZILLA: the monster who got down-sized. Theater nineteen to your left. Then a right,
up the escalator and down the hall and another right. Hey, it fits! I made it fit. Okay, you gotta keep that barnacle out of
the popcorn. That’s serious health code stuff. You saying I’m dirty? I’m saying if you want free popcorn you
gotta stay out of sight. Message received! You gotta be kidding me. He really hit the big time. What is that, four of them now? Ugh. Lookit! He fights a green one. See? I’m sorry, what? Ahhh! Theatre 14 to your right, then take the
shuttle bus, then left. Enjoy your movie! Oh… my… gosh! It’s “Mucus Marcus!” Mucus! You work here? You have to sweep up
all the crap we’re gonna spill! All the soda on the floor– Maybe leave a turd under the seats. No! Please don’t guys. Just be cool. Kick his butt, Randy! Look, what about a sneak preview of the new
Regurgitor movie, okay? Alright. Regurgitor is awesome. Really? Why is he so awesome? Oh my gosh, it’s that lizard dude from the
mall! And what’s awesome about Regurgitor? He’s
just a “lizard dude” too. He’s awesome because he kicks ass. “He’s awesome because he kicks ass.”
That’s not even a real thought. You’re saying the same thing twice. Kick his butt, Randy! Don’t make trouble, Krog. Regurgitor pukes on guys like you. And the puke is in 3-D! Yeah? Let me show you something else in 3-D. Let’s go, honey. That’s all that giant idiot stands for — puking
up the same stuff over and over again. Just like every movie with a roman numeral after
it based on a breakfast cereal. The same stuff, but louder and louder and stupider and stupider,
which makes all of you louder and stupider. The more you missing links go to
see this crap, the more of it they make and the more I have to hear about it. So do me
a favor, will you? Go out into the sunshine and play on your skateboards or beat up the
Karate Kid or whatever you used to do before your brains turned to dog turds. And if I see you talking to Marcus ever again,
I’ll show you a little move I used on Mega-Bee over Manhattan when I pulled her wings off.
Oh, wait a minute, you don’t HAVE wings. It’s cool. We were gonna steal it off the
internet anyway. Sorry, that’s probably gonna get you in
trouble. It was worth it. I’ve waited ten years
to see that guy piss himself. He pissed himself? There was a lot of pee-pee going on down there,
oh yeah. I just let that stupid movie get to me and
took it out on those guys. I’m glad you did. You’re like the bouncer
here now. I guess I better bounce over there and sweep
up that pile of ashes. Yeah. I’ll go try to get that little girl
to stop crying.

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