Miles: Can I do a very quick… thing about the end of Infinity War? Miles: So I went to go see that movie, on a Monday night by myself, at like 7:30 or something. Miles: Towards the end- *finger snap*
-fucking Thanos does his little *softer snap* snaps.
Kerry: Yeah. Miles: And everyone starts disappearing, I’m like “holy shit, we’re doing this, okay, cool.” Miles: Cuz I-I never read the comics or anything. Miles: So T’Challa goes, and I hear like a few like- *soft sniffle* -a few sniffles in the audience. Miles: And then I hear a big one, two seats, to the side of me- *loud sniff and soft crying* Miles: And there’s this like, middle-aged woman there, just- like bleary eyed. Like she’s in- and I’m like “aw, man.” Miles: “Wow, she’s really into this, like that’s really cool-”
Burnie: Yeah. Miles: “-that she’s having this emotional connection with this film.”
Kerry: Yeah. Miles: But then she had to ruin it for everyone else, because as soon as you get that- Miles: “Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good.” You hear- Miles: *choked up crying* N-No! *laughter*
Miles: And like- Burnie: Yep-
Miles: I’m like, what the fuck? Miles: And of course, Peter’s going, and he’s clinging- he’s like, “I don’t, I don’t want to go,” and she goes- Miles: *angry crying* NO NO NO NO!! *sniffs*
*Gus cackles* Miles: *wheezing back laughter* And I’m like- Miles: A-And I’m trying not to laugh! I feel bad for like a number of reasons, but like- Miles: Dawg, she was in this zone! Miles: Like her only child was like going- I was- Miles: I wanted to go over to her and like, give her a blanket and cocoa and be like, have that talk with her!
Kerry: Yeah. Miles: That this duty’s to have with his son, man. Miles: I can’t think of the last time I saw someone… have that one. Alright, I’m done.
Gus: Th- The woman who- Gus: So the woman who was sitting in front of me, when I watched Infinity War, Gus: Like there’s a scene where, uh, Tony Stark gets stabbed. Kerry: Yeah.
Miles: Yeah, I-
Gus: Yeah, and I was like- Gus: Oh my god, they’re gonna- they’re gonna kill him right here.
Kerry: I wish that’d have been it. Gus: The woman in front of me goes- Gus: *loud gasp* NO! *Miles laughs loudly*
Burnie: I did that- I had that same reaction. Gus: And then the lights come up in the theater, she goes- Gus: “Well, that movie FUCKING sucks!”
*Miles wheezing and the rest laughing* Miles: Oh dude, have you ever been in a theater where someone tries to start a clap, and it’s just done, it don’t- don’t go? Miles: Oh, that’s a really uncomfortable situation to be in for like the- like the remainder of the film. Burnie: I was- I was in that situation with a friend of ours.
Miles: Oh no.
Kerry: Really? Burnie: Matt Hullum.
Miles: OH NO. Burnie: We went and saw the Star Wars-
Miles: Don’t tell me he started it. Burnie: -the Star Wars, uh, I think it was special editions, when they came out in theaters?
Kerry: The Star Wars… Kerry: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Burnie: The original trilogy, but when they added all the garbage to it?
Miles: Yeah… Burnie: And, uh, you know, we went and saw New Hope, and everyone was like, yeah! Burnie: You know when you see the first- *clapping* -time Leia’s on screen, everyone’s clapping.
Kerry: Yeah. Miles: Sure, sure.
Burnie: First time, Hans Solo-
Kerry: For a second, I thought you meant like- Kerry: The 3D-
Burnie: Not gonna spoil anything about it, Episode 4. Burnie: Uh, but then- when we- in Empire, we went and saw Empire- Burnie: I wanna say they came out like, months apart, but- or maybe- I don’t know they seem like they were pretty close. Burnie: Anyway, we went and saw Empire together, and everybody did the same thing when they clapped when Leia showed up. Burnie: And when Darth Vader showed up the first time. Burnie: But then Boba Fett appeared on screen.
*Miles snorting* Burnie: And Matt was like, “YEAH, BOBA FETT!!” *resounding claps that slowly stops*
*Miles and Gus laughing* Burnie: NOTHING.
*continuous laughter* Burnie: Nobody was into Boba Fett except for Matt.
Miles: Aw, come on. Burnie: I know right? What are you gonna do?