Stephanie Soo Drama and the Signs of Narcissistic Abuse

Hello everybody and welcome back to my
channel I decided to do a little bit of filming before work because I had to
drop my son off he has school today actually and so it’s a little bit too
early for me to go into work and normally I probably would just go in
really early but I just don’t feel like it today I don’t feel like going in
extra early for the reason where I live we are under a heavy dense fog advisory
although there’s still cars out you know people still are getting where they need
to go but I will say that traffic is a lot lighter today than normal so you can
definitely tell that people are already taking off for the holidays tonight’s
Christmas Eve and it’s already Konica that started some Sunday night but
people don’t usually take off of work for that there’s no school buses this
time of day which normally there’s a lot of school buses so I actually got my
kids to school really quickly cuz again not a lot of traffic we can get stuck
behind buses or anything like that I’m gonna settle down
probably at my favorite spot to make videos and we shall see I may or may not
include the audio of me talking right now because I’m not saying anything of
import but I wanted to make a little update video of what I’ve been up to
lately and I also wanted to just kind of talk about an issue in general that is
being talked about ad nauseam at this point the drama that was going on
between Stephanie sue and Nick Akkad oh avocado I don’t want to specifically
address their drama that’s been gone over at link but I saw a video by a
channel called irate Alex and he kind of broke down what was going on in
Stephanie Sue’s video explanation of why she was scared of Nick ikata avocado by
referring to the process of Ruby and I thought it was a really she
brought up a lot of great points that really resonated with me in my own life
and so I kind of wanted to talk a little bit about that and so I’m gonna find a
place to settle down and park the car and set up my phone camera and talk to
you guys a little bit this morning about the process of grooming of narcissistic
abuse of not trusting yourself and your gut instincts when it comes to a person
or when it comes to a situation and how that can have such a negative impact on
our lives when we don’t trust ourselves and we look outside of ourselves for
validation or we look to other people to tell us how we feel or how we should
feel and we listen to an outside perspective from people that may have
their own agenda rather than listen to ourselves and
that can end very badly for us I will see you all in a minute it’s been a long time since I filmed and
I know this because I had my little tripod gp1 that I got from Amazon a long
time ago actually that I’ve been using in my car and one of the legs is broken
off so I’m using a different little attachment that sections to my
windshield which doesn’t it’s a little bit too close for my liking but we’ll
make it work we’ll make it work life update I can’t even remember where
I left off but I think I told you guys that I had switched jobs and I started
working for a local non-profit and you know in general that’s been going well
that’s been going well and my daughter got engaged so I have a daughter who is
going to be getting married sometime next year towards the end of the year
and so that’s been very exciting we had an engagement party for her update on my
son’s health he has a cold right now but in general he is doing very well and in
school living life doing his thing turning into a regular teenager
concerned with his clothes and with his hair and what kind of shoes he wears and
wanting to go out and hang out with friends and ya know sometimes have to
fight with him to do his homework and things like that but normal teenage boy
stuff and so with the perspective that I’ve been given what the alternative is
I will take it I will take it everybody else is doing well all the other kids
and spouse and all of that are doing well I wanted to address an issue and
this could springboard into so many different issues but that was brought up
by the whole and if you don’t know Stephanie sue is a mukbang ER in avocado
sorry avocado avocado both are mud fingers I’m
sorry I like a little I think I maybe I don’t know if I need more coffee I don’t
know if I need less coffee certainly in the morning but I’m a little loopy I
think I mentioned to all of you that I sometimes watch them up bang videos
I don’t watch them as much as I used to part of why I don’t watch them as much
as I used to is because I would kind of use mukbangs to vicariously eat all
kinds of calorie Laden foods that I didn’t want to actually in real life
because I was really concerned about my diet and losing weight and that is
definitely a goal that I need to get back to in the year 2020 not necessarily
watching mukbangs but starting to regulate watch what I eat
portion sizes all that so because I haven’t been it’s concerned about my
weight which I should be I haven’t been watching more things quite as much but
there was a time where I watched them quite a bit and especially I think I
mentioned to you guys that in the hospital sometimes you know just for
relaxation and just to clear my head or to eat vicariously stuff I couldn’t get
my hands on or that I was trying to be good about I would watch mukbangs and
ASMR and things like that so I was familiar with Stephanie su and I was
familiar with Nick ekkada avocado and I don’t really want to comment too much on
that situation but if any of you watch mukbang channels or if you’re familiar
with Stephanie sue or Nick econo you probably have seen Stephanie Sue’s video
talking about how she felt scared and manipulated during a recent
collaboration and interactions with Nick Nick how to avocado so I’m not gonna get
into that you can watch Stephanie’s who’s video if you want to the cacao
avocado has yet to make a video responding
to her but he’s like made video threats like I’ve got the tea I’m gonna spill it
on her everything that she was worried that he would do he’s he’s threatening
to do but as of the filming of my video right now I haven’t seen any response on
his side but people are canceling nikki cotta avocado or anybody who was
supporting him I watched yesterday a video by a channel called irate Alex who
does all sorts of commentary on different YouTube videos and I only
recently discovered his channel and he kind of broke down the situation of what
Stephanie’s who experienced as grooming and he made a really good case for it
and it resonated with me her words resonated with me regardless of what
Nick econo avocados intentions were her truth is her truth and this is how she
experienced it and I right Alex showed a lot of examples from her video from her
story and her explanation of how she experienced things to show how she was
sort of prepped and groomed for another person’s purpose who wanted to use her
either to get her involved in drama she didn’t want to be involved in or to
reveal things and personal things that she didn’t want on camera that was meant
to be a private conversation and how she kind of her words were twisted and I
have experienced that in my life many a time and I’m sure many of you have to
where you know it’s called gaslighting where this person either will put words
in your mouth that you didn’t say or will twist the words that you did say
until you’re not even sure if they’re right or you’re right or did you say
what they said you said or or did you not say something when you were sure
that you said something all you know is that you’ve been completely
misunderstood and misrepresented and you don’t know if it’s your fault or if
they’re playing games with you and you don’t know the truth anymore you don’t
know your own truth and I think it’s really important to
recognize those signs and symptoms of what I am referring to as narcissistic
abuse because somebody who gaslights you who twist your words who tries to
manipulate you displays certain narcissistic characteristics that are in
a pattern that is pretty consistent and I know looking over the course of my
life any negative relationships that I’ve had have like clockwork been a part
of this pattern one channel that I want to recommend for you guys to learn about
narcissistic abuse if you feel like you are in a crazy-making relationship right
now or you feel like you are completely being misunderstood and you do not
understand what is going on is a channel called inner integration I found inner
integration a couple years ago and her channel changed my life because she made
sense out of the chaos she put into words exactly what I had been feeling
for almost my entire life because I’ve had experience with different
narcissistic personalities throughout my life unfortunately once you are a victim
of narcissistic abuse ones especially if it’s a parent you are raised and girl
you grow up without the boundaries and without the ability to see and
acknowledge red flags and so you invite more people like that into your life in
fact you almost want somebody like that in your life because this time it’s
gonna be different this time you know you’ve experienced this
narcissistic abuse once and so you can avoid it but you can’t because you don’t
you don’t recognize that the person you’re inviting into your life is is
even the same type of personality you just don’t recognize it so I guess I just want to tell all of you
out there that there there is help there’s actually definitely I want to
recommend going to see a therapist if you find that you are in a situation
like Stephanie su repeatedly where you find yourself manipulated into
situations you didn’t want to be in in the first place and you have a hard time
extricate yourself from those types of situations or untangling yourself from
those types of situations and when you do you’re painted as the villain if that
means that you are getting involved in very negative relationships with people
that have a certain type of personality disorder and they recognize that you
don’t recognize that you were raised without those boundaries or you know the
ability to see red flags like that because you were raised to ignore them
and to accept them go see a therapist because it can change your life in your
world but also I’m telling you there’s a lot of information to be found just in
general about narcissistic abuse on the internet on YouTube I’m not saying get
your therapy from the internet or YouTube but I’m just saying to educate
yourself on the patterns and the pattern usually is love-bombing compliments
flattery you are the best person in the world this person can’t believe that
they met you oh my gosh they like everything you like you like everything
they like how did you guys not meet before you are perfect you are the
perfect person and then comes the devaluation stage where you know what
now that I get to know you you’re really not so great I don’t really think we are
as alike as I originally thought and by the time
the the devaluation stage hits you’re already all in like you’ve already
fallen for the person whether it’s in a romantic relationship whether it’s in a
friendship like you already have bought into it maybe in the very beginning if
they had treated you like they do during the devaluation stage you would have
been like okay go fly a kite like I don’t need you in my life but that love
bombing got you hooked and once you’re hooked and you’ve spent time and you
have an emotional investment it’s not so easy to suddenly say oh I don’t care if
you think that about me fine we’re done now a healthy
might recognize okay I know where you’re coming from I’m out of here but if you
don’t understand those signs and symptoms of narcissistic abuse you’re
gonna stick with it and be you’ll be hurt you’ll feel like oh my gosh he he
or she realizes I’m dumb I’m stupid I’m unsophisticated I’m not so interesting
oh great now they’re seeing the real me I better fight to get back the love
goggles that they had on before I’ll be I’ll be a better friend a better
girlfriend I’ll be I’ll do my hair the way they want me to do it I’ll do my
makeup the way they want me to oh okay I’ll get interested in opera or I’ll
start liking sports and they’ll learn everything I can about hockey because I
know he likes hockey like at that point you are ready to just do anything to get
back what you had in the beginning but you never will get that back because
that was the fake part this is I’m showing the real self the first love
bombing part and the flattery and the compliments that was the fake self that
we don’t realize that we think it’s all our fault and many of us have
inferiority complexes and low self-esteem from previous narcissistic
abuse and so we always think it’s our fault and we always believe whatever
feedback we’re getting and and then the final stage is the discard stage where
they’re already on to somebody else love bombing them they’re always in some
cycle of the narcissistic pattern you’re never the only one and they’re done with
you they have no further use for you or they do because the energy that they’re
going to get with you begging and pleading for them back or with you
you know crying over them or piling away they get energy and happiness and a
thrill that you’re even thinking about them in that way one of the things that
narcissists have been referred to as energy vampires they love people’s
energy and a normal person loves positive feelings and energy but doesn’t
like it when they’re getting negative energy but an energy vampire a
narcissist is law they are getting your attention and they
are getting an emotional response from you they don’t care if it’s positive or
negative it’s all good to them as long as you’re thinking about them and you’re
crying over them and weeping over them or yelling about them or angry or love
or passion or whatever it’s all good its energy and they feed off of it and they
feed off the attention so that’s something that most of us cannot relate
to I would hate it if somebody was crying about me or angry at me or
whatever but an energy vampire it’s all the same it’s it’s all fuel for their
fire I think a lot of that was going on in Stephanie’s description of her
interaction I think that many of us can relate to having been involved with
someone in our lives at some point like that I think that the most important
lesson to take away that I know now and I’m trying to live is that you can never
get your validation outside of yourself when you get your validation or and your
happiness completely outside of yourself you’re never ever ever going to be happy
and your happiness is going to be transient temporary and blow in the wind
with the other person’s opinion of you and it doesn’t matter again if it’s a
parent a sibling a friend a romantic partner if you don’t feel confident in
yourself and know who you are and know what your truth is and stand by it and
you’re only happy when other people are happy with you and when other people you
only feel beautiful if someone else tells you you are as soon as they change
their mind you’re gonna be down in the dumps and miserable so you always have
to be firm in yourself you have to be your own best friend and you have to
know where you’re coming from and not let other people twist your words they
can say what they want you know what you met you know what you said you know what
you didn’t say and I know that’s easier said than done
it’s a whole process which is why I say it really takes therapy to get
but I also think that educating ourselves helps too so I definitely
recommend you watching inter integration there’s just so much on her channel I’m
not gonna link Stephanie to this video because you can find it I mean it’s hard
not to find it if you watch mukbangs and and you everyone’s talking about it
everyone’s making videos about it so I’m going to link I rate Alex’s response
because I thought it was a good one and I’m going to link in her integration
and maybe a couple other channels too that helped me to really understand
narcissistic abuse and the pattern that is always a freaking same once you spot
the pattern it’s hard not to see it anytime someone that you just met is
like too much doing too much we are best friends now and we just met yesterday
that’s too much that’s too much it might feel good but again if you know your own
word you don’t need somebody outside of you to tell you you’re good to tell you
beautiful to tell you you’re smart whatever and you won’t be so quick to
lap it up don’t do too much too soon is what I’m saying
once you recognize those patterns you’ll be better able to guard yourself against
once more getting into a an emotionally abusive situation in which the other
person holds the power and the strength and you are just dangling in the wind
like whichever way that person is gonna blow is the way you’re gonna go you
don’t want to be in that type of situation so um I say this because so
many of us particularly women but it can happen to men too I’m not saying you
can’t but particularly us women you know we we are taught from day one that our
worth in our value comes from how men see us you know our it from Tamara
little girl we’re dressing up for Halloween as a bride you know or in a
prom dress or as a princess waiting for her prince you know it’s only when we
get shows an impact that we are considered
worthwhile and if we don’t get chosen a pic we are not made we’re sad we’re
pathetic were ugly we’re not worthwhile yeah get away from that and we have to
have our daughters and our granddaughters and our nieces and the
young girls and ladies in our life get away from that method of thinking we are
good in and of ourselves we don’t need to get our validation from outside of
ourselves whether getting praise for being obedient or being compliant or
being sweet and being nice that’s all very very well and good but we need to
get our self-worth from within ourselves and I think that if a young woman like
Stephanie sue who is sweet kind and a people pleaser I think most of us can
relate many of us ladies can relate to being people pleasers it’s harmful and
it can be fatal you know when we go along just to go
along when we go along to avoid a conflict and a fight with things that we
don’t want to do and that doesn’t don’t feel safe for us it’s very dangerous we
need to be strong in ourselves and if you feel uncomfortable to say no to
listen to our gut and say I’m not going to be a part of this and I’m not gonna
apologize for not being a part of it either and maybe I said yes a minute ago
that doesn’t matter this is a minute later and my reality is different and my
perception is different and now I’m saying stop and no and it’s stopping now
and it doesn’t matter if I said yes anything to go that’s a non-issue I’m
saying no now that’s it’s all a part of that narcissistic abuse and feeling like
we have to please and feeling like you can’t say no and letting other people
determine who we are and what we want so I know this video is rambling and all
over the place like I said please go over and watch inner integration because
she’ll make more sense out of it in a more
away I’m wishing you all the best I’m wishing you a wonderful day I’m wishing
all of you in the hospital for the holidays strength hope love and a giant
hug I’m thinking of all of you I know what it’s like spent holidays in the
hospital and it blows before I head up along I’m gonna stop talking and I’m
going to sign off now until the next video have a wonderful holiday wonderful
day and I’ll talk to you next time bye

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