Superhero Drama | Rudy Mancuso, Anwar Jibawi, Jeff Wittek & Jimmy Tatro

>>SUPERMAN: Guys! Breakfast! Let’s go!>>WONDER WOMAN: Oh, since when do you make breakfast?>>SUPERMAN: Good morning! Good morning! Good morning!>>BATMAN: Good morning.>>SUPERMAN: Who the [BLEEP] is that?>>BATMAN: This is Cat Woman.>>WONDER WOMAN: What the [BLEEP] is she doing here? I mean…hey.>>BATMAN: So, uh, today, everyone met Cat Woman for the first time.>>WONDER WOMAN: I don’t like when these [BLEEP] come into my house, like get the [BLEEP] out.>>FLASH: I’d definitely smash.>>SUPERMAN: I got eggs, home fries and bacon.>>FLASH: This is vegan right?>>SUPERMAN: What?>>FLASH: I’m vegan now, you know this.>>CAT WOMAN: You’re vegan?
>>BATMAN: What do you mean you’re vegan now?>>FLASH: I’m vegan now. I don’t eat-
>>BATMAN: When did this…did you know about this?>>SUPERMAN: What the [BLEEP] does that mean?>>BATMAN: It means that he’s a [BLEEP], that’s what that means.>>WONDER WOMAN: Flash is a vegan now? Since when?>>SUPERMAN: You gotta stop with this [BLEEP] bro.>>BATMAN: We’re superheroes. We eat meat and [BLEEP].>>FLASH: You guys have to respect that I’m vegan.>>BATMAN: I don’t respect you.
>>CAT WOMAN: What kind of superhero are you anyway?>>FLASH: Who the [BLEEP] is this [BLEEP]?>>SUPERMAN: [BLEEP] the breakfast. Forget about, you know, we tried. Let’s just go for a walk. Okay? It’s a beautiful day.>>BATMAN: We’re figuring, you know, it’s a beautiful day outside…>>FLASH: I’m always down for a walk with the guys.>>BATMAN: Maybe we go for a walk. [SUPERHEROES CHATTING]>>SUPERMAN: Oh [BLEEP], it’s the Marvel guys.>>BATMAN: Oh [BLEEP].
>>WONDER WOMAN: Oh man.>>CAPTAIN AMERICA: Check it out, it’s [BLEEP] Superman and his loser friends.>>SUPERMAN: Ugh, this could not get any worse.>>BATMAN: [BLEEP] Marvel man.>>SUPERMAN: What’s up Captain [BLEEP]?>>CAPTAIN AMERICA: Oh, I’m the [BLEEP]?>>SUPERMAN: Yeah, you are.>>CAPTAIN AMERICA: Look at your tights bro. You can see your balls.>>WONDER WOMAN: Well at least he has balls idiot.>>SUPERMAN: Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that.>>HULK: Who’s this [BLEEP]?
>>WONDER WOMAN: Who the [BLEEP] are you with your stupid mask?>>HULK: I’m the Hulk.>>BATMAN: Hold up. You’re the Hulk?>>HULK: Yeah?>>BATMAN: Wow. I mean you look way cooler in movies.>>SUPERMAN: Way cooler.>>BATMAN: I thought you were gonna be like big!>>HULK: At least our movie did numbers!>>CAPTAIN AMERICA: Yeah, we’ve seen Batman vs Superman bro. We want our money back.>>FLASH: Spiderman’s black?>>SUPERMAN: Yeah, I had no idea.>>SPIDERMAN: Yeah I’m black, you got a problem with that?>>FLASH: No. I just…no. It’s surprising.>>SPIDERMAN: Why is that surprising? Spiderman can’t be black?>>FLASH: I didn’t say that.>>SPIDERMAN: I feel like that’s what y’all saying, so I don’t know.>>WOLVERINE: Are you racist bro?>>FLASH: I’m not racist. I have a lot of black friends… In jail.>>SPIDERMAN: Hey man, what the [BLEEP].>>SUPERMAN: That’s it?>>BATMAN: What was that?
>>WONDER WOMAN: What the hell was that? You just ran out of web?>>SPIDERMAN: That’s my pre-web.>>FLASH: How the [BLEEP] was I supposed to know that Spiderman was black?>>SUPERMAN: Yo, Wolverine, Wolverine, let me ask you something, how much time do you put into your hair every morning?>>WOLVERINE: 3 hours.>>BATMAN: Oh wow. That was honest.
>>SUPERMAN: Really?
>>WOLVERINE: Yeah.>>SUPERMAN: It looks pretty good.
>>WOLVERINE: Thank you.
>>WONDER WOMAN: No. It looks like [BLEEP] [BLEEP].>>WOLVERINE: Hey, don’t worry about it Wonder Ho.>>WONDER WOMAN: Who the hell are you calling Wonder Ho? Oh [BLEEP] he’s got knives out of his hands. I have knives in the kitchen.>>IRON MAN: Maybe you should stay in the kitchen.>>WONDER WOMAN: Oh, good one bro.>>BATMAN: Yo, Iron Man, you look like a [BLEEP] transformer bro.>>FLASH: I’m a robot.
>>WONDER WOMAN: Ha-ha, loser.>>SPIDERMAN: Where did you get your costume from Flash? Huh, Party City?>>BATMAN: What are you doing?
>>WONDER WOMAN: Oh my God.>>SUPERMAN: Flash, Flash, Flash, it’s not a dance a dance battle Flash. It’s not a dance battle Flash. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Flash stop!>>SPIDERMAN: What’s this [BLEEP] doing?>>BATMAN: The Flash, it’s like I don’t even know why he comes to these things.>>CAPTIAN AMERICA: I’ve saved 20 people this week. What the [BLEEP] did you guys do?>>BATMAN: It’s not about numbers bro.
>>SUPERMAN: It’s not about the numbers bro. It’s not about the numbers. Relax.>>CAPTIAN AMERICA: Alright, well check this out.>>SUPERMAN: Okay, okay, check this out, check this out, check this out, check this out.>>WONDER WOMAN: Do that! Do that! Do that!>>FLASH: Can you do this?>>WONDER WOMAN: Boom.>>SPIDERMAN: Yo, that was like 2 seconds! Is that about the same time it takes you in bed, my [BLEEP].>>FLASH: Actually, I last 10 seconds, [BLEEP].>>WONDER WOMAN: What?
>>SUPERMAN: Flash, just don’t talk anymore.
>>FLASH: It’s a big difference.>>FLASH: I [BLEEP] hate Spiderman.>>WONDER WOMAN: Well, I bet none of you guys can do this.>>FLASH: Yup! Yup! [BLEEP] yeah!>>IRON MAN: Yo, yo guys, check this out. “I am Iron Man.”>>BATMAN: What the [BLEEP] was that?>>CAPTIAN AMERICA: I want to know what Batman can do.>>BATMAN: Why don’t you just shut up man?>>CAPTIAN AMERICA: No, no, no, you see we all have super powers, that’s what makes us superheroes.>>BATMAN: I said shut up man.>>CAPTIAN AMERICA: You’re nothing but a little human.>>BATMAN: Take that back right now! Take it back! He’s a [BLEEP] dick! You’re a dick!>>SUPERMAN: I love Batman, but feel bad for him, you know. I mean [BLEEP].>>WONDER WOMAN: It’s really hard for him. Don’t worry, we’ll get them next time.>>FLASH: I swear, you’re like the coolest superhero.>>WONDER WOMAN: Yeah, you have a mask, you’re Batman.>>BATMAN: No, you know what, I am upset. I am pissed off, okay. I am freaking PO’d right now?>>SUPERMAN: Batman relax.>>BATMAN: You don’t get it Superman, you’re a [BLEEP] alien, okay.>>FLASH: You’re over reacting.
>>BATMAN: You guys aren’t from this planet.>>SUPERMAN: Batman.
>>BATMAN: I’m going to go for a drive.>>WONDER WOMAN: Oh come on, don’t be so dramatic.
>>FLASH: Batman come back. Let’s go with him.
>>SUPERMAN: Where are you going bro?>>FLASH: Batman!
>>WONDER WOMAN: Come back, come on. We’ll get them for you, don’t worry.>>CAT WOMAN: Hey.>>SUPERMAN: Look bro. It’s not my fault. She was sitting there and she was looking super hot. Like… What…what are you doing here?>>CAT WOMAN: That was really dramatic, wasn’t it?>>SUPERMAN: Uh, kind of, yeah.>>CAT WOMAN: I figured I’d just stick around and maybe just, I don’t know, lick myself.>>SUPERMAN: Jesus Christ. Uh, well, Batman is, um…he went somewhere, but he should be back soon, so.>>CAT WOMAN: You know, it’s a big job for me to lick myself.>>SUPERMAN: Jesus, uh, okay…>>CAT WOMAN: Why don’t you come take a seat by me?>>SUPERMAN: Just until…just until he gets back. Alright, why not. Alright. So what’s the deal? Are you like a cat or a woman, like what’s up? [CAT WOMAN PURRING] Okay, cool, cool. It was [BLEEP] up, I know. I know it was [BLEEP] up. Cool, cool. Oh wow, that’s pretty cool.>>BATMAN: Sometimes when I need to blow off some steam, I go for a ride in the Batmobile, you know. I feel so much better you guys.>>SUPERMAN: Oh, oh, oh, woah bro, relax, relax, it’s not what it looks like.>>BATMAN: I just couldn’t believe it.>>SUPERMAN: Bro, look, I can explain.>>BATMAN: Oh!
>>SUPERMAN: Please relax bro. She’s crazy, she’s absolutely crazy. You didn’t tell me.>>BATMAN: Are you [BLEEP] kidding me right now? I leave for 5 minutes.>>SUPERMAN: I know. I know it looks bad.>>BATMAN: [BLEEP] fight me man.>>SUPERMAN: Batman, no. I’m not going to fight you.>>BATMAN: If you’re a man, you’ll [BLEEP] fight me.>>SUPERMAN: Batman, you’re my best friend. I’m not going to fight you right now.
>>BATMAN: Quit being a [BLEEP]. If you’re a superhero get up and fight me.>>SUPERMAN: Listen bro. Listen, listen. I don’t want to fight you back.
>>BATMAN: Get up and fight me!>>SUPERMAN: I don’t feel that. I don’t feel anything. I’m a superhero, that doesn’t hurt bro.>>BATMAN: Hit me!>>SUPERMAN: I didn’t want to do that bro. I didn’t. Batman. Batman. Come here. Wake up, wake up. I’m sorry bro. I didn’t mean it. Look at me, look at me, look at me. Are you good?>>BATMAN: Yeah.>>SUPERMAN: We can’t let this cat [BLEEP] [BLEEP] this up.>>BATMAN: Yeah.
>>SUPERMAN: We’re too good of friends.>>BATMAN: We are, dude we are.
>>SUPERMAN: I love you bro.>>BATMAN: I love you. Please don’t ever hit me again.>>SUPERMAN: I won’t, I won’t. I promise.>>BATMAN: Okay.
>>SUPERMAN: I love you.>>BATMAN: At the end of the day man, super bros before super ho’s.>>SUPERMAN: We good?
>>BATMAN: We’re good.
>>SUPERMAN: Good good. I love you bro.
>>BATMAN: We’re good, we’re good.>>SUPERMAN: Where the [BLEEP] is Flash, by the way?>>FLASH: Do you want to make out?>>CAT WOMAN: No.
>>FLASH: Okay, cool.


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