The Mikado – Little List Song – Lyric Theatre June 2010


As someday it may happen that a
victim must be found I’ve got a little list…. Of society offenders who might
well be under ground And who never would be missed… There’s the pestinential nuisances who
e-mail you with spam, Like “bankers” from Nigeria
who’s goal it is to scam. The loud-mouthed TV dieticians
yelling that you’re fat, They’ll sell you some concoction
that’ll slim you *just like that*! The telephone solicitors who simply won’t desist
They’d none of them be missed. There’s the operetta singer
and the others of his race, The off-key soloist
I’ve got him on the list The people who smoke cigarettes
and puff them in your face, They never would be missed. The CEO who runs his enterprise
into the ground But walks away with millions when
the whole affair is found. All fat-cats working Wall Street
and the bonuses they flout, And the idiotic Senators
who help to bail them out. And that singular anomaly:
The sub-prime mortgage-ist! I don’t think he’ll be missed,
I’m know he’ll not be missed. And the people who pollute TV with
shows that they contrive, The exhibitionist,
I’ve got him on the list! The people who cause accidents
when texting while they drive, They’d none of them be missed,
I wish they’d all desist. The talk show host who claims
to be so balanced and so fair, But never is objective
when HIS show is on the air Montgomery Theater renovators
cancelling our shows, Just how this place will look next year
well, only heaven knows And all the social Twitter, Facebook,
MySpace Friendster-ists, I don’t think they’d be missed,
They’d none of them be missed. You may put them on the list,
And they’ll none of them be missed. [music][applause]

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