The Time Zack Morris Used Subliminal Messages To Brainwash Girls Into Sex

♪ Zack Morris Is Trash ♪ (Bell Ringing) – It’s the annual
Bayside sweetheart dance! Slater’s giving his heart to Kelly, when Zack rudely interrupts
to help this woman make up her mind. Slater says Zack probably can’t even go because he’s in trouble
for vandalizing the pool and using a teacher’s toupee as an eraser. And Belding’s meeting
tomorrow with his mom to talk about how disappointed she must be in her failure of a son. Lisa and Kelly are loving
the new tape from Bo Revere. Mr. Belding says he prefers the sounds of The Beach Boys. Zack says he loves the
Beach Boys in a pathetic and unsuccessful attempt to suck up to avoid tomorrow’s meeting. Ms. Wentworth is receiving various gifts from kind students and also Zack. She says they’ll be learning
about subliminal ads with hidden messages. Movie theaters used them to trick patrons into buying snacks. Zack says that would never
work on his feeble mind. Except it would. Because it did. Yesterday Ms. Wentworth
played a tape for the class with a concealed vocal
track instructing them to bring her all these goodies. She warned subliminal
advertising is unpredictable and should be used with extreme caution, words Zack ignores with no delay. He wants to give Belding a Beach Boys tape with hidden messages to get out of that meeting with his mom. Screech rightfully
questions Zack’s proposal, so Zack calls him an
idiot and punches him. He records a tape saying… – Zack Morris is a good kid. – Lies. – Zack Morris is a great student. – More lies. – Zack Morris is a fine human being. – The most lies. – Zack Morris is the son I never had. – The truth, thank god. Zack gifts Belding his
surf rock propaganda and says it’s a new enhanced recording. Belding says thanks but
he’s still in trouble. Kelly accepts the invite of a suitor who isn’t a juvenile delinquent. Belding is bumping Zack’s brainwash tape when he walks in for his mom meeting, minus his mom, because
he told her not to come. Belding doesn’t care because
Zack Morris is a good kid! And, despite his vandalism,
a fine human being! And, despite his failing
grades, a great student! Then Belding says he’s
the son he never had and gives him some of
his hard-earned salary to have fun at the dance. Zack gets a great idea to use this wildly immoral
machination on girls. Zack begins playing brain surgeon by having Screech
distribute tapes to nerds so they can get their dream girls. It works like a charm
and three young ladies are helplessly duped into
romantic relationships, and probably their first
sexual experiences, against their will. Then Zack sends Screech
to the female locker room in disguise under the alias Barbara Bush. Screech swaps their Bo Revere
tapes and is once again forced to hide in a locker
for one of Zack’s schemes. Kelly tells Zack she does not want to go to the dance with Slater. Then begs Zack to take her. Then callously rips off Slater’s
heart in front of everyone. Lisa finds Screech, in yet
another locker for some reason, and pleads with the guy
she’s been endlessly avoiding to be her date. Jessie’s listening to
Kelly’s Bo Revere tape and tells Max she has
a date for the dance, but suddenly wants to go with Zack. Because Zack’s the kind of
guy every girl dreams of, plus a bunch of other dumb crap. Lisa tells Jessie the thrilling
news that Screech says he’ll go to the dance with her! But when Jessie raises concern, Lisa says she’s just jealous. Kelly says she dumped
Slater to go with Zack, because Zack’s the kind of
guy every girl dreams of! Then repeats all that dumb
crap in unison with Jessie. They realize something is very wrong. Because they both had nice dates and now they’re fighting
over a blonde scumbag. They look around at Zack’s
museum of manipulation and say it’s like the
school has been brainwashed. They figure out Zack
must’ve abused their lesson on movie candy to
psychologically influence girls using their tapes. Then recognize that locker room
stranger was his accomplice, Screech, after being forced
to picture him naked. The girls listen to the
isolated vocal track and hear, – Zack Morris is a blonde Tom Cruise. – Among other disturbing falsehoods. They devise a plan to stop
Zack before he escalates his tapes to ploys that will likely soon include robbery and murder. Principal Belding announces
they’re going to start playing a song a day! For funsies. And today is this tape from Kelly Kapowski’s personal collection! It starts with Jessie, and
soon every woman in earshot, including Ms. Wentworth, is
aggressively coming on to Zack. He does nothing to try
and snap them out of it. They swarm him in the hall like zombies. Even Slater gets in on the fun. Zack runs like a punk. Zack bursts into Belding’s office and demands he turn the music off, then finally tells him the truth out of fear of being mobbed to death. Mr. Belding says Zack looks like a blonde Tom Cruise. Zack whines at everyone, stop loving me. They explain the tape that’s playing has no secret message and this was all an elaborate setup, a setup that prevented everyone in school from
getting an education that day to end his reign of mental tyranny. Let’s review. Zack Morris learned that hidden messages are effective and
dangerous and immediately used that information to
brainwash his way out of trouble while for some reason also making a grown man love him as if he was his son. Then set out to manipulate young women, using nerds and mentally paralyzed
girls as his guinea pigs. Then made a guy invade
a female changing room to trick two of his best friends into unwanted physical intimacy while sabotaging a
blossoming relationship. And pushed an entire high school to stop everything in an urgent attempt to
curtail his sociopathic evil villain zeal for mind control that should’ve had him imprisoned
for life then and there. – Zack Morris is a blond Tom Cruise. – Nope, Zack Morris is trash. ♪ Zack Morris Is Trash ♪ (Bell Ringing)


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