Breaking news a star-studded event at the level Hotel in Los Angeles has been taken over by armed gunmen We now go to a live feed from the assailants and can confirm that one of the hostages is international pop star shaggy Yeah You know say he’s happening payable to me sing it shaggy Honey came in and she caught me red-handed creeping with a girl next door Picture this we were both butt-naked Hanging out destined for how do I? Fork instead I have given a extra key We have three waiters on the run I think we should turn ourselves in What’s with the pockets I’m showing them, I’m unarmed we can take them My name is Alex, but three exes. I’m about to go explosive on these motherfuckers 3x means poison by the way, it’s also a Vin Diesel movie Let’s fuck some shit up Swatt new seals transporters What are you doing up there? Oh, thank god? The hell are you doing they’re here to help us we’re not going to look cool is shit getting saved by the LAPD Do you even listen to Kendrick Lamar? Love me I give way if I follow the loser like you around for years Guys stop you just shot at me. I shot near you bitch Nice ready these two people are not married And they’re going to have premarital sex do you want to go to heaven or do you want to go? Now it is time to honor the breasts of the women in the room I would like you to turn to the person next to you. Hi is it possible we could do a three-way I’ve never done a three-way. Why are you in this class you seem so together? Ah, yeah, I really think you should come over wouldn’t have hot sex with someone who’s really nice to me Let’s just go have sex in my office. No I’ve been dating this guy for two years I love you as his friend and as a sexual partner won’t love why do you always call me a dirty little slut? Ah, just because maybe you’re you’re jealous that I’m more successful than you Why are we sitting around talking about? How sad our lives are? You’re right we should be talking about how great we are I want there to be a lot of blood in this scene Why does the woman who enjoy sex always have to die in horror films? Maybe she could fight back? I think that’s probably the worst idea ever mind her life, so probably can’t do that one We talked about pleasing men, but what about pleasing us they can I leave my laundry here get it on Thursday? You want me to do your laundry? While you date other women you should do your laundry yeah, you are so hot like really hot Let’s make a pact to be with good guys only guys who treat us great like we deserve well There’s this guy he asked me on a super attractive. You should go for it move over. There’s a new skank in town Having sex with me is a rule. I just experienced I Like your script. Thank you. She’s a good writer. I Want you to do my laundry now? Sex in my life Boss mere add some oil kind of turned me on Look so why I want to have sex with you okay, no Good guys only cook guys guys only jerk sex no drift sex Let’s go Medical marijuana is already a multibillion-dollar industry The future is this weed pill I’m still not sure about this look most people will tell you Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon and even a complete idiot will tell you Neil Armstrong did it first and do you know why he went first because He pushed Buzz Aldrin out of the way, I’m satisfied Look man you’re at some deep water Harold like bankruptcy dude then cash pool. No. I’m saying you’re poor poor Tomorrow you’re gonna fly to Mexico what we want you to hand deliver the weed pill formula to the lab Yes, I know I’m not supposed to touch the minibar but I’m going to do it. You know I don’t even care anymore. I’m doing it. I’m having the moon What a crybaby Harold, I’m just gonna spit this out And hit fee. We sold a little product to the cartels, but when we cut them off. They got a little angry Pretty good again, not really luckily. I know a guy. I’ve tracked down dictators back to find a guy in middle manager Is injected the microchip, I need to keep track II Can’t scare me the tails of the big bad cartels. I don’t things work not in Mexico. There’s Harold Harold bingo You really believe in God of course I believe in God, what kind of person does not believe in God I guess I kind of do but not Things you can just have to get better breathe trust me I have good instincts Tonight we’re taking game night up a notch. Oh boy Someone in this room is going to be taken and it’s gonna be up to you to find them it’s a murder mystery party whoever finds the victim wins the grand prize You’re not gonna know. What’s real and what’s fake? Wait a second can’t just come in here and break the door Okay Roger dad you drive safe I’ve always enjoyed the camaraderie of good friends competing in games of chance and skill Do I fell yeah, it seems like Ryan you go first. I’m scared well It’s not a joke people are in real danger Oh, so we take a little bath, it’s so much worse Stop wait me I have kids at home not with an ass like yet. You don’t oh, oh No he died His instructions on how to remove the bullets didn’t have rubbing alcohol, so I got you this lovely shot Good idea way to pivot, and then a squeaky toy for the pain Good afternoon massage as you know parole and a privilege. It’s a mistake But it happened, and if I were to be released I would um I would just want the simple life. I just want to hold down a job make some friends you Know pay my bills Even if this was possible it made twenty people seven people Why do you need to do this cuz that’s what I’m gonna How long would it take you to make seven pieces of jewelry in five or six hours How long if I told you didn’t have to live with your mother anymore it’s need the water flask wait. What do you need a? lass Which man named ball, which real name 8-ball What if we could make all this go away Then purse as well sorry okay, I Mean with my family I told him humming a garage finally tell you how big a job knows I’m out I take the job I’ll be back before you know can I come with him? This is mommy’s very special work trip In three and a half weeks the Met will be hosting its annual ball And we are going to Robins not The ball itself on the neck of Daphne Kluger valued at over a hundred million dollars Revenge it’s a twofer do not run a job in a job User Smith can’t we just go to this do we have to steal stop yes Is it genetic or the whole family like this literally But those mother I’m in What’s going through the laundry found these new phones Become a strip that down me tonight. I’m tearing these off with my teeth like an old school cartoon gonna go Honey Mitch Does your daughter’s okay? I’m ready you look beautiful. I used to hold that girl in the palm of my hand hey Let’s becoming a woman you’re gonna have to deal with that Thanks looking for that Why are you here you think I’m gonna miss the most important that if you’re young hey, there’s my graduation graduation is for losers Tonight is the first night of our adult lives. I want to go to prom and lose my goddamn virginity prom night It’s kind of perfect. I’m in Julie laughter that popped open you guys are stupid on our kids all emojis have a secret meaning. Oh eggplants are dicks This is some kind of a dick related agreement Our girls are not thinking things through. I may stop them. I’m in I’m fully planning on having sex tonight Wherever the night takes us the night’s gonna take us there wherever the wind sails our ships your ship is going into my harbor There diddly wwvv d what would Vin Diesel do Hey fast the Furious is completely unrealistic it’s not a documentary I get that I’ll do anything for my daughter. What about hugging contest bring it no no right we’re butt chuggin on the count of three They got a logger or an IPA does it doesn’t matter Oh Spit roasting himself Are you a team player or aren’t you I just chugged 240 with my asshole, I’m a team player Why am I even trying to be a nurse? I’m gonna be delivering pizzas and cleaning carpets for the rest of my life You’re very attractive for a carpet cleaning lady although you maybe could do something with your hair, yeah No, that’s not it. It’s your face. Yeah Give you tolling give me a little snack, you know I was just hired to do your carpets right you’re fired I bet you haven’t worked a single day in your entire Self-absorbed life just pay me and I’ll be on my way nope Here’s the devil I owed the cleaning company 3000 bucks for a new machine and they fired me rich people who get away with everything I Don’t know what day it is. I don’t even know my own meaning of ninja in our little town That’s him. I have an idea that is poetic and it’s justice I’m here to pick up my husband Yuri my wife for better worse, baby Yep we had to use the sperm donor You’re getting picked up for work bright and early I work three jobs. I want to fake husband Take them to the hospital Bobby Oh Max I’m an undercover cop working a kidnapping case a baby panda was stolen and they’re using the dog show as a front for animal Smudger why are there dogs in this beatty? That’s what partners are for what is happening in this town. Must take me Smuggler’s – They’re with the world’s most exclusive dog show And Max are you in the right place? I could have swore we were backstage at a circus so like he’s on a mission You’re a cop. I’m working undercover. Well if you actually won the whole show nope hey you do remember. I bite, right All right coach what’s our first move turn you into this shut up. Oh boy with a little bonding Reed You waited for me to get back into that video And some help from friends. I’m deputizing both of you. Yes, sir, I accept, but I get to be the bad cop they just go solve the case you are different from other show dogs Max is a paw so as a papa from the director of Beverly Hills Chihuahua The Smurfs and Scooby-doo a team of crime fighter with license to buy Felipe what are you doing who says police work and pampering can’t go Paul and Paul? Dogs what’s that bikini wax? It’s payback time wait The pain passes, but the beauty Cheramie Seriously cut the crap guys. I’m not a rookie anymore get these off me Rabbit it’s not like we want to shave your balls story. Do you want to shave his boss me hello Foster? No way, you don’t want to shave his balls. Do you Farva hell? Yeah? I do no. No don’t we gotta get out there Bullshit who ordered these I can’t feel my tits License and registration I’m Eva – that pulled me over before beg pardon Oh you Mounties now, or should I say meow jeez okay hang on? Do you really not remember this guy you’re just fuckin with him I have no idea Yes, you know. I heard everything you said bitch. We’ve been doing that for years I You see I’m so glad you’re here. I’m pregnant, but I don’t know how to do this by myself Your mother is the bravest person we ever made my baby Let me tell you how she did it all on her own Right short the world is wide I want to make some memories This dress might look very pretty on you, you don’t know me at all do you? I think we should stay here together Well, I wish I could stay here, too Turns out he’s engaged. I hate it when they do that I Was cheated by you and I think you know when Look at me now Will I ever learn? I don’t know how? But I suddenly lose control. There’s a fire within my soul I can hear about and never felt closer to my mom. She wasn’t scared because she had me We can’t tell anybody else about the baby, okay, I just told bill and I told Harry I told many many people Let’s get the party started grandma you weren’t invited that’s the best kind of party little girl Pull the trigger whose friends the nail and whack it in one hit what you’re telling me is good by conventional hammer a life Ran out of gas you’ll only ever get a little bit of gas at a time hey you notice not I like to come by and see you I like seeing you as well I was hoping to save up to taking dinner someplace nice. I love that Yeah, whatever you want by the way this one’s on me I’ve been thinking about this ever since I first got gas at your place. You must be so excited So you mean to tell me with no money down I can buy it Do you know what that’s to Lerman TV show we keep singing this guy this guy’s everywhere We need to know who this man is and we need them on this show I’m sorry about all these cheap dates this TV I’m just a little out of it, but you do the clapper yeah, but I’m gonna bounce back What is that your head is about to explode? That’s my kid you can take that off all right computer. Somebody’s making money off, and it ain’t us I subtract you like five bucks right now just for watching that We’re from the Jamie silver-colored you recognize this man right here, yeah Do you know the clapper Dirty so people came by tonight asking all kinds of questions. They’d a photograph of you. You’re in trouble no I’m not in trouble. I like you Eddie. I really do wonder, but I need my job like I need my job How’d you get this number a night every night? We want you to be honest. I’m not comfortable Do you not television anywhere it stop harassing my girl? Where’s Judy? Things got out of control, and I didn’t know how to handle it The clapper it’s great to finally meet you I mean you wanna make a big joke out of me go ahead I just lost the only person there matter through this whole thing I Can’t tell you how nice lists good things could come out of this We didn’t do it again. Don’t look at me look at the camera you looking at me. Don’t look at me I know I’m talking you, but don’t look at me. Don’t look at me look at the camera. You look at me again Nothing meant more than being in the ring with the Panthers my wrestling family In the nineteen eighties we pulled in audiences of millions Now we’re pulling pints And I wouldn’t change a thing Shame really that this is to be my final point in here. What’s he talking about? We’re going to close the aft nails It can’t be serious. Yeah, it’s awful. Oh Well I quit not so we do the greatest show of our lives not gonna Be easy trying to turn the clock back nearly 30 bleedin years little particulars. They called me the sexy c-3po twisty Ziggy barrows what Ziggy short fuck but you short for yeah territorial dancer The Panthers you shall all be warriors once more for our support, so You are viral not me may and clean as a whistle. I’ve seen pants. You’ve run better than this I fear the man Now you’ve got the chance he made this a fight that won’t never be forgotten Yeah, this is our moment Watch them learn This rollin, I don’t think they’re strong land cliff, oh, they’re still very little they’re Often often teddy. Oh got me side park anywhere else a bonus It’s time to walk I Love you son hey After years of research we discovered the male and female brain is wired very differently to him I’m basically a blow-up. Doll. Oh my god. That is what you look like Thank you. Well. You know that grooming releases endorphins in the female brain. Let’s not forget. Here’s disgusting I gave you the Brazilian straightening. I like my hair it look like those dude from the Dukes of Hazzard I’m eight was my American accent. You mean, you don’t know the Dukes of Hazzard The area responsible for defending your turf is larger in the male brain. I’m a physical marvel Oh, I’ll try me throw something. I mean anything oh Okay, so I wasn’t ready for that Women are also more likely to recognize flaws I threw that thing out like three years ago. I take out the trash so now it’s back laughing the fact You even want to be MMA fighters, but still wants to hold the door open for these gender roles They’ve been in us for 20,000 years Look you like this look, how’s it feel to be dating magician? Relationships take work want me to work two jobs. Why don’t we take the drug Marley? Is that the one to make it eat people’s faces? She returned some music on there’s no music Knowing your brain makes life so much easier even though people have been complicated Nobody can deny our ability to get back up. Yeah, yeah You just said yet nine times yeah Can I tell you something? Yeah sure I think you’re a physical marvel I? See and she thought jelly jellies not really something you catch jellies some gravy. Yeah. Yeah, you ready Those were two peppers in a bags like kitchen nunchucks Yeah, that could be a nasty sprain why don’t I get you some ice maybe a cup of coffee? What’s in the hold of it my infidelity formula? You’re in fidelity for me? It works ten million people are great and as a fail-safe. You break up after six months of data Statistically speaking, it’s not safe to date for longer than that What if I could offer a way to prove your theory wrong? I don’t see how you’d be able to do that all we would need to do is find a group of people Who’ve been in a relationship for longer than six months and give them an opportunity to cheat without getting caught? What are you proposing? I’m suggesting a little competition I Pick five of my friends who’ve been in a relationship for longer than six months And you pick the Enchantress’s who will be their downfall. Oh, that’s green chest out. Well. What is a competition? That’s three out of five wins underwear is pretty She wants you to go to her place to show her how to use gym equip You know I’m a professional didn’t get your mind out of there You’re wrong about people it’s not that simple, but it is Good thing this is almost over you turn it into a regular gangster. It’s not over yet


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