Total Drama Revenge of the Island – Episode 1 – Bigger! Badder! Brutal-er!

We’ve been to the movies, we’ve been around the world. And this season we’re going right back where it all began at Camp Wawanakwa. I’m Chris Mclean and as you can see things have changed since we’ve been away. And by changed I meant gotten really, really Dangerous. Good stuff. But the rules of the game remain the same. A handful of unsuspecting teens will bunk with complete strangers, Air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional. And compete in life-threatening challenges all over the island and risk being voted off. Last one standing wins 1 million dollars. Speaking of our cast here they come now. Owen: No! No not them. This season we’ve got all new players fighting for the million and here they come now, for real. Meet Jo. Stay out of my way if you value your kiwis. Scott. Right back at you. Zoey and Mike. Can you believe we’re here? Yeah. It’s beautiful. Lightning. Hello Gorgeous. Brick. Brick McArthur reporting for duty. B. And Dawn. Your aura is exceptionally purplish green. Oh it suits you though. Dakota. Hey there, Dakota here and I’m here to win this- Anne Maria. Oh yeah, three more coats outta do it. Woah! Who said you could pan away? Don’t push me blondie! Staci. My great aunt Millie created sun tans, ya, before her people smeared themselves with clay. Cameron. Fresh air! A real lake! Birds! And Sam. Oh yeah. Grenade launcher upgrade! Now we’re cooking. Yep. It’s our roughest, toughest, most explosive season ever. Right here on Total Drama: revenge of the island. [Screaming] Is this what pain tastes like? Chris is so getting the beat down for this! Outta the way! Athlete coming through. Hey! Help! Spaz. I’ll save ya little girl! I’m a boy. Hi fellas! How ever did you find me? Uh, we got your text. For crying out loud. Uninvited guests, over. [Screaming] Hey! No touchin the hair four-eyes. I wish my third uncle twice removed was here! He invented life preservers. Mike: Hang on! Both: I’m coming. No, you first please. No, please go ahead I insist. Well, I mean if you insist. Hold on! Thanks, I owe you one. Okay. My first confessional so um Zoey. Nice girl. Okay, super nice. I wonder if she’ll go out with a guy like me see I have this, um quirk. I just hope my condition doesn’t ruin everything for me again. Oh. Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually in the Total Drama confessional it’s so exciting everyone seems so nice. I hope they all like me. I could use a few new friends or friends period. What if they hate me? Maybe this flower was too big. Am I trying too hard? You like me, right? Woohoo! That’s what I’m talking about. First one on the- How did you? You’re not even wet! Hm? Oh I used a shortcut. Ma’am. I may be the strongest player here, but I’m all about the teamwork. Back in cadets I took the teamwork medal three years running also the bed making medal, the flag folding medal and the letters home to mom medal. I always win that one. I am what’s known as a Bubble Boy. Growing up my mom was really overprotective. So I’ve never gone swimming before up until six hours ago. I’ve never done anything before. Except Read and sigh a lot [sighs] But that doesn’t mean I’m not a force to be reckoned with- No way! Danaus plexippus! The monarch butterfly. [Screaming] So heavy! Yeah, and my great great great uncle Boris invented swimming. Before him people just swung their arms around like this and sank to the bottom. And my great great great great great great- Yeah, that’s great. I knew I should have played that sweet fitness workout game. I just hope I don’t get cut first that would be lame. But if I stick it out long enough to get cut sixth or even seventh, how cool would that be? So stoked to be here I’ve been watching Total Drama forever, who knows maybe I’ll even make some new friends. Yes, that would be good considering you are an only child and all. Wha? Who told you that? Your soul reads like an open book you had such a lonely childhood. It must have been difficult. Attention fresh meat. See the trail leading into the forest? Race to the end of the trail and do not disturb the wildlife. That would be bad. Yeah, we wouldn’t want to upset the bunnies The tiniest sound can set them off. Like this. [Foghorn plays] Yes! Sorry you had to lose to a girl. What girl? Lighting didn’t lose bro. Lightning never loses. Captain modesty two steps left. You’re on Team A. Yo, Jo move right you’re team B. Pit sniffer, you’re team A. Corporal Brickhouse, team B. Sir yes sir! Silent treatment, team A. Bubble Boy, team B. Okey dokey. Zoey the lonely, team B. Only has a child. Seriously! The aura whisperer, team A. Saved by a girl, team B. Princess wannabe, team A. Tan in a can, team B Yo game junkie, team A. My Uncle Bill won the New York marathon four times because marathons were first proposed by my great great- And chatty Staci team A. What the heck was that thing in the forest? I’m pretty sure that cry does not belong to any known animal species. Relax, it’ll all make sense eventually. Now this season of total drama will be a little bit different for example in every episode. Someone will be eliminated. It’s never been that hard before. I know, I’m good. But since you’re all first-timers, I’m gonna cut you a break and hide this bad boy somewhere in the campgrounds. A genuine McLean brand Chris head. Your free ticket back into the game. Even if your teammates vote you off. Whoever finds it will become the most powerful player in total drama history! Is the cleft on my chin really that big? Yep, and it looks like a butt. Moving on. Time for the team names. Team lightning no wait Lightning squad. Great suggestions lightning but names have already been chosen by moi. Team A you shall henceforth be known as the toxic rats. Killer. And team B. You are hereby dubbed the mutant maggots. Um. What’s with all the references to chemical waste? [Roaring] It’s the monster! Hey, it’s just a stupid squirrel. Aw. Oh my gosh. What’s wrong with it? While we were gone I rented the island out to a nice family-oriented biohazardous waste disposal company. Sweet people. But the waste is having a teensy bit of an impact on the flora and fauna. Cool. Weird. I want one. Most danger ever! Chris is the meanest ever! Hang on, not too blotchy. Okay, take two. Now before we start our very first challenge of the season. let’s give out some rewards. Jo because you made it up here before anyone else your team gets a trampoline! And the rats get a hack saw. What do these items have to do with this bomb? Um, he won’t really blow us up again will he? Won’t I? Find out when we come back. Those are your team totems. You need to cut them down and get them in the river and ride them back to the campground. First team there get their pick of the cabins. But hurry. The totems are rigged with bombs that will explode if you don’t plant them in front of your cabin in seven minutes or less. Starting now. Alright let’s do this! Yeah- Ah! Stand back! Lightning is on it! Dang slippery tree. Don’t worry Lightning never quits. It’s too bad that my third cousin jack isn’t here to give us tips on barehanded tree climbing. Okay if Joe hits the center of the trampoline with 50 pounds of pressure per square inch. Back off, I want a crack at this. But I calculated for Jos weight. Sure, I want to win a million dollars but not at the expense of my looks. I mean check me out! Perfect hair, perfect tan, all this is worth a billion easy. And my great great great aunt Dora actually taught native Canadians to carve totems. Oh okay, you want me on this thing? Whoa, hey you want me to stand here? Woah, dude! First of all tree climbing is not a recognized sport. Plus that tree was covered in butter or something. But if Chris is trying to make lightning look bad. He can think again. Lightning never gives up and never surrenders. Sha-lightning. Time to win this! Help! Good grief. Sheesh. What a baby. Aw, man. This isn’t working. Gah darnit cut that danged rope already. That’s what we’re trying to do Mike. Mike? Names Chester, Missy. Uh, excuse me? Mike is so sweet. You know, I really don’t get his old man comedy routine. But I bet it’s really funny if you’re from like France or something. Lightning strikes! Go away. Hey, shoo, shoo! Back in my day. We didn’t need fancy saws and axes to cut ropes. We did just fine with stones. One more person will do it. Dakota? Timber! No time for photo ops Dakota. Take it easy! Not the crew cut! Mission accomplished. Ah! Put me down! Take it easy! Only three minutes left! Saw the ropes! How are you supposed to? It won’t work! Teeth down on the rope! Down! No girl. You cannot be that dumb. Pretend it’s daddy’s steak knife! Oh! [Giggles] There! B! Change your name to A+ B thinks he’s so smart. But once my plan goes into action, he won’t know what hit him! They’re gaining on us! It’s my duty to inform you ma’am that we have bigger problems. My first waterfall! And maybe our last! [Screaming] Ah kids today and their crazy log rides. Zoey: Mike! Zoey!? Zoey! Hang on tight. Okay! Thanks Mike. No problem. Lightning: Alright! Yeah! B wants us to lean forward. Yeah! My great great great great second aunt Mary invented log riding and she- All Rats: We don’t care! Hey! how did they get in front of us? Ah. Feels good to be back. Hey Chris! Get this. The boat wouldn’t stop. Oh look, its former player Owen who’s not competing this year. Yeah, so I swam back to tell you that- WHAT? Not competing? I’m afraid you and the other classic players have outlived your usefulness. Chef. First place! Go team lightning! tick-tock. Quick! Grab the good cabin! Too bad, it had an eight-person hot tub and air conditioning. Yeah, my great great great uncle James invented log cabins. Before him people had to sleep in the trees and they kept following over all the time. And my great great great great great aunt Phyllis invented Roofs. And before her houses were just walls and furniture and every time it rained you had to get a new sofa. Regardless as the only team with a cabin still standing the mutant maggots win the first challenge. So where am I gonna sleep? No worries. We’ve got a backup cabin for you every bit as nice as the one you lost. Crap! Team rat I’ll see you at the campfire for our first elimination ceremony of the season. The votes are cast. Those who receive a regular marshmallow can stay but this season one player will receive a very special marshmallow. A marshmallow you do not want to eat. Whoever gets the marshmallow of toxic loserdom is out of the contest, which means you can’t come back ever. The following players are safe. Scott B Lightning Dawn and Sam. and the marshmallow of toxic loserdom goes to… Staci. But I was doing so good. I guess it’s the dock of shame for me then. Actually, we came up with something new this season! You’ll love it. Say hello to the hurl of shame. Patent pending. Yeah catapults were invented by my great great great great great great greeaaa- One down twelve to go who’s next in line? Find out next time right here on: Total Drama: Revenge of the island


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