TSP’s Rabish Ki Report | रबिश पहुंचे शादी में


Can you see the marriage hall in the
right, It’s only for Thakur’s. And here Brahmans. Now discrimination even in marriage. I hope the route is proper. Yeah. As per Google
map, this way it’s left. Google is waste, you idiot.
The place where you can hear some noise… See, this place is full of lights, right? Let’s go there. Such a small vehicle you’ve got.
Didn’t you find a big. Bullet or something. – There was no budget.
– Oh! Every time you say that there’s no budget. Did you apply any perfume or no? I was going to apply it but
you’ve finished the bottle. You’re putting a blame
on me that I’ve used it. Oh, God! This hurts so much. And listen, park the vehicle far away. Otherwise the procession will consider it
as their dowry and carry it in their truck. You don’t worry about it.
I’ve put a sticker of the press. That’s awesome. What is this? So by picking up these
notes from the ground, with a small effort to lift the
downfall economic of the country, I’ve arrived with Chintu in
a long-lived rinki’s wedding. So after fu***ng up the traffic, with mother’s and sister’s, the procession has arrived
to the marriage hall. Where Shah Rukh has done
1, Amir 2 and Salman none, this is the wedding season.
This time in Delhi there will be working government. With regards, I’m Raja Rabish Kumar. Listen, pick it up if you find it. We’ll get the budget for the next report. What happened? Bro, what happened? Listen. Why are you fighting? What happened? It’s a wedding not an university. That you guys are fighting.
What’s the issue? Raja Ji, the day he has won Naach Naagin
Naach-Seaon 3, he started showing attitude. He’s not allowing me to dance.
Is it your father’s wedding? Why bro? It’s his talent.
Why are you stopping him? It’s not about talent, Raja Ji. This guy wants to stop the snake dance. He wants to make us do a modern dance.
But I won’t let this happen. Before the procession leaving from
hotel, these people started a campaign, saying that‘Naagin dance tere tukde
honge, Naagin dance tere tukde honge’.
We’ll not tolerate this. Never. He’s lying Raja Ji. He’s a liar. At least be afraid of Prabhu Deva. Raja Ji, let me tell you one thing.
He’s afraid of us. He’s becoming insecure. That if I do modern dance, all
the girls in the wedding will fall for me. They’ll attracted towards me, Raja Ji. It’s not like that.
May be after watching this cobra, any serpent in this wedding
might get attracted towards him. And might suck the poison inside him. Raja Ji, look at him. How much more is he going to be sucked. He has
become like this after getting sucked so much. And you Raja Ji,
you please stop watching daily soap. I’ll tell you about the modern dance. There’s no such dance that
can compare this modern dance. You come here. Can you see staircase. You can’t, right? See the way I’m going down.
This is called modern dance… Look! Look at these ‘Urban dancers’.
Look at these ‘Urban dancers’. They want to end this tradition
of Naagin dance in India. – Hey, you listen.
– I won’t let you do this. Whom are you calling the ‘Urban dancers’. I know how to dance. You’ll say anything. – I’ll remove all the poison from inside.
– Listen, you guys. You’re an ‘Urban dancer’. Keep quite. It’s done. Why are you fighting? It’s done.
You continue with your Naagin dance. And you do your modern dance. Got it? Do whatever you want to. There’s something called fusion, right? Do you know? Behave like brothers.
It’s a procession. Everybody’s dancing. Dance together. Come on. Do a fusion dance.Begaani Shaadi mein
Abdullah
can go mad, An any kind of violence is bad. So I’ll take a leave. Let me go and
check the preparations at the door. The U.S. President would not
welcome his Indian friend… …like the way the groom
was so grandly welcomed. Just as the groom’s
sisters did not allow… …the groom to get out of the
car without taking money, Similarly, if the people put the condition
of the development before voting, there’ll be so much development in
the country at the time of election, that the remaining 5 years,
the leader will remain unemployed. Here Rinkiya’s father welcomed
groom’s parents with a smile. Father-in-law hugged the son-in-law so hard as if he is some EVM button, which if pressed
hard will reach the shaheenbagh protestors. Hey, you idiot! – Do it form this side.
– Why from this side? Hey, you idiot! Start from that side. Do it fast. The procession has arrived. Despite being more busy
than the Prime Minister, this boy is staring at
the girl in such a way, means he wants to stake
his claim on this seat. But when this candidate was
sidelined like an elderly leader, So I went there to help him. Hello! Arranging the pillows. Rabish Ji, come in. How come you’re here?
I hope you had snacks. I’ve got everything.
But you’re not getting. The importance. The procession takes all the importance. How will I get it. True. See the thing is you do farming
anywhere, whether on your face or land, you’ll never get the price,
middleman comes in you see. Rabish Ji, even I’m interested. But I’m the prime servant. Bride’s brother. It’s my utmost duty to
serve the procession. Hmm. Make them sit, eat, sleep and also taking
them to the washroom in the middle. After that if I get time,
then save the sisters… …of the house from the
guys in the marriage. Hmm. It’s very difficult to handle it. MBA should be sent to the procession so that
they get a real training in management. Now since I’m not able to
focus on myself then… how can girls focus on me, Rabish Ji. Now I can’t apply powder
and lipstick and look smart. Yeah. I can see that the
people are ignoring you… …the way government does
with CAA protestors. Right? The thing is you should learn from me.
You should learn from my look. From clean shaved.
If you can’t then you shave it. – Really?
– Yes. Before your heart breaks,
shave your beard. Right? Yes. I’ll shave it. Guys who do not take bath for a
month in the name of saving water, they apply kilos of
soap, scent and perfume. Some were tangled in their
hair and some in their dhotis. I thought I should ask for
a perfume and smell too. So is it a guy in dhoti or dhoti on a guy? Oh, Rabish Ji! If you want any perfume or
something, let me know. Hmm. Wow. You’ve changed your look. Your looking nice. I had to respect your words, Rabish Ji. If our Prime Minister
had agreed with us, then our country would also
shone like your face. But it didn’t happened. I’m looking like Chitvan brother, isn’t it? Who’s Chitvan? – That ‘Mada Mada’…
– …that ‘Faka Faka Faka’ song? I had kept this as a
ringtone for two months. Brother, you’re beautiful. Thank you. Okay. I think today your dad will
give you away along with his daughter. No, Rabish Ji. Nothing like that. I want to apply it. It’s not going to get over.
It’s a wedding. It gets over Rabish Ji. The most auspicious ceremony
of any marriage that takes place, it is called uncle ceremony. Yes. Before uncle opens his third eye, We instructed the cameraman
to take precautions, I asked him the reason of getting angry. Why should I not get angry? Why not? Don’t I have any self respect? Am I right? I understand that his son is a big IITian. But my son is nothing less. He’s an influencer on Insta. Do you understand. He’ll have lakhs of followers. Just ninety eight thousand
is remaining in a lakh.. His son himself follows. He’s just taking a revenge that
my son didn’t follow him back. – I understood.
– Yeah. Absolutely right. Rabish Ji, what these people do… You first… Just a minute. I’m not able to breathe. Now the thing is they’ll call at his place, they’ll insult and then they’ll persuade. then they’ll persuade. You please understand the chronology. Understand the chronology. My cab did not come otherwise
I would’ve left today itself. I’ll leave today only. If the cab comes, everybody will leave. Yeah. But the thing is If I
was insulted this way, I would’ve hung
in the bumper of the car and had left. Hey, Raja Ji! You’re provoking him more. Now if he really wants go
then we can’t stop him. It’s my father who has arranged
gold chains for sons-in-law. – Yes. Even I want.
– Alright. Listen, it’s nothing like that. But uncle is hungry for love,
for respect but not for chain. Oh, Rabish Ji! He’s provoking. He’s smiling. He’s provoking.
I’m not going to leave like this. I’ve some relation. Crying and all is fine.
After all it’s a wedding. There won’t be any adventure
unless uncle is not here. You should do something for the excitement. Come. How much carat they’re giving? 28 carat. You please come. So in this country, the rulers
should also have uncles. I would say that the ministers
and Prime Ministers uncles… …should make them sit in opposition. So that they continue to
condemn the government. And the government gets a reality check. There were so many varieties
of cottage cheese and chicken, there are not even castes in the country. Although my stomach was not that liberal, that I can eat everything. So I took a parcel. There was still a plate of garlic kebabs, but something happened. Why is he standing here? You’re from whose side? You don’t look like
from science department. Why should I tell you? Show me. Show me the invitation on
WhatsApp or else show me the card. Why should I? Why? Because I want to see. – Show him if he’s asking.
– Yeah. You’ve got an invitation, right? – Show me.
– Rabish Ji. – I’ll not show the card.
– Hmm. That’s the spirit. The wedding season will come and
go, but I’ll not show the card. Hmm. I’ll make myself a groom’s friend and
when caught, I’ll become bride’s friend. But I’ll not show the card. Is he going to charge me per plate? I’ll eat more 6 to 7 plate but
I’m not going to show the card. Is he going to make such face? I’ll squeeze the rasgulla
syrup and eat 6 to 7 of it. Hmm. But I won’t show the card. – You won’t.
– No. – You won’t?
– No. – Do you know who I’m?
– No, I don’t know. Who the hell are you? Why should we tell you about
the relationship with our groom? Who the hell are you? Tell me? I’m not even going to bring envelope
and you want me to show you the card? Who the hell are you? Even if it is a WhatsApp or Facebook, why should I show you the card? Who the hell are you? – He’s bride’s uncle.
– Uncle, my foot. He has got the responsibility
of the wedding so he has gone mad. Bride’s father is seen
walking around with a bag. Thought of asking him that
how much is the amount? But then later I thought
if he asks 100 200 from me. That’s why I turned the camera around
where two guys were clashing for one girl. Why are you making the
stage as a parliament? What do you think? Who is she staring at? Raja Ji, if the focus is here then
obviously she is staring at me. Don’t get involved in exit poll. Just wait for the results.
The tables will turn. I hope any third party
alliance doesn’t happen. Look! Look! Chitvan took her. I think it’s time to give away the
son, isn’t it? Wow. In the entire wedding, there’s only
the video guy who’s more important than the groom, before which
the girls of the house revolves. I told him by giving him
little bit of importance. Hey, you! Listen. Your camera
doesn’t believe in gender equality? Are you going to take pictures of girls?
Click some pictures of mine. You say whatever you want
to but stop blaming me. Why? Brother, I’ve clicked all the pictures. Now what’s next? Do one thing, take another
camera, people who are eating,
just run with a camera capturing the food. – With the food?
– Yes. Okay. Rabish brother, since morning I have
had this body rig on me and top pf that, I’m getting hiccups since morning. Whenever I click any picture,
the photo becomes blur. How? The moment I click it,
It happens like this. And on top of that this
family is irritating me a lot. If any photo becomes blur. And when I go to eat,
they’ll call me to click a picture. Please send me my picture on WhatsApp.
I’ve your number. I’ll ping you. Because of all this,
I’m not able to drink water. Everybody’s coming and giving me
work, I’m not able to drink water. Whenever I go to drink water, uncle is there
standing asks me to take picture of him. And then all the relatives
comes and asks me to take picture. They want in patiala, in lehenga, in saree.
How’s that possible? I don’t know why did I chose
this profession after college. I think you had follow the passion
but passion didn’t follow you back. It’s okay. Now go and have
water and click pictures. And please click some
pictures of guys as well. Even we guys want it. – Let me click one picture of yours.
– No. It’s okay. I’m fine. Wait. Hmm. You clicked a blur picture. Have you also followed your passion that
you got stuck with me in journalism. You could’ve become like Dabboo Ratlani. In such weddings,
a guy and a girl… …takes the real advantage
of one plus one free offer. And find a disco partner. Now since there was no issue of stag entry. so I thought I should dance in a disco. But I had to cover my face with the
blazer, the moment I saw the DJ guy. Rabish Ji. Rabish Ji. What a surprise. Come Rabish Ji. Come. Who are you? – Rabish Ji, you don’t know me?
– No, I don’t. – You seriously don’t know?
– No. – Are you sure?
– Yes. Rabish Ji, music system. Music system. I’ll set the wedding on fire. I’m going. Hey, no. I won’t say it. Rabish Ji, just look at the
set up of the music system. That’s fine. But tell me one thing why
are you playing sad songs. It’s a wedding. – The groom will feel bad.
– Let him feel bad. It was me who felt really bad. When she kept on saying that
I’m her life but she left. Rabish Ji, government should bring ‘RAB’. Relationship Amendment Bill. In which the couples will be
linked on the basis of aadhaar. And then the right to break
the heart will be taken away. And Rabish Ji, if anyone protest
against it, then I’m telling you, Myself I’ll take a stick and hit… You’re going to hit with a stick. So you tell me one thing that are you
going to hit wearing a mask or without mask? Even today, the rose that I gave
you, you’ll keep it inside your book. Look at this lover’s face carefully. You’ll also love the
photo on his aadhaar card. – You’ll start loving it.
– Hmm. Nice. I’m a poet but not a coward. Hmm. Very nice. But the poem of
yours, it is against Aadhaar card. How? The way it’s of Faiz. Anyways, leave it. You just chill. This is what she used to say, Rabish Ji. That I should chill. And she used to handover the joint. And then when it detected cancer, then she left. She left, rabish Ji. She used to say that the
cancerians are frauds. That’s why I’m playing such
songs, Rabish Ji. DJ Badri. Rabish Ji, I want to put
these songs in such a way… …so that they
won’t be able to forget so easily. Listen. Listen to me. Tell me one thing.
If you’ve so much problem, why are you here to ruin the wedding?
Why are you playing sad songs? Rabish Ji, I can’t leave my work for love. Then it will be like Priyanka, Reema,
Sonam, Drishti, Shrishti and… …Kaushalya. I’ve to cancel
these bookings of marriage. – What will I eat Rabish Ji? One day you’ll get a hit with
a shoe from everyone. Got it? If this is your attitude, you’ll get
a hit with a shoe. Are you getting it? So now you saw that how these DJ’s are
making the country dance in different tunes. The day the country will
understand the tune, they’ll get hit by the shoes
that they’ll have to open… …a second hand shop for
shoes instead of being a DJ. Okay. Keep on playing it. Not a single person from
procession is going to get food. Being an engineer guy is not funny. Is it a guy or onion? When everything was decided earlier, then
why are you doing this drama and bargain? I’ve kept him away from love
marriage for so many years. Now I’m not going to let this go waste. I can recognise you. I’ve seen the viral video of girl’s
marriage. You only made it, right? The video against dowry. I’ve seen it. What happened with son’s wedding? A daughter’s father is
bound to do all this. I’ve made my son study so much, His donation money, fees money, I’ve brought these
hundreds of people in procession that money, For the bride whatever I have purchased,
I haven’t got in 100% cash back. And the bride’s father
is asking for discounts. Have I opened a rehab here? If this was the case you should have
arranged for such a lavish wedding. You could have done it in
some temple or court. And could have thrown a house party for
the guys, they would have been happy. Dad, after a lot of efforts we have got this relation, don’t break it. Once you break it, will never sew again. Rabish Ji it’s better that his
relationship breaks rather than my wallet. Look, I have asked you some
question, please answer me. Why are you asking for a dowry when you yourself
didn’t ask for in your daughter’s wedding. I have already given you the answer. When did you answer? I have already given you the answer. – But you listen…
– I have already given you the answer. Rajaji please explain my dad, and dad
why are you harassing my father-in-law? Even you are related to him in a way.
Arrange an EMI system for him. Even he’ll feel better. Listen to me you sell your son on
olx, any which ways if he doesn’t get married today he
will be called second hand. – What are you talking Rabish Ji?
– Hey click his photo, put it on Olx. Rabish Ji he is my son not a furniture
that I should sell it on Olx. That is what I’m saying are you here
for marriage or to purchase furniture? Good that you asked for dowry
it’s all recorded in camera now. Now come on the procession from here
will directly go to court and not home. – Come on let’s take them.
– Hey Rabish Ji you got fooled. – I’m actually doing a prank on you.
– He is lying. I’m doing a prank see
there is the camera. – That is my camera.
– I have a camera come I’ll show you. Come on you. So now you know that camera is so important
it can save as well as catch someone. So you keep your dowry with yourself,
I’ll go and check what uncle is drinking. Keep that safe. Go run and bring ice,
listen first bring it cold. If it melts I’ll beat you up. Come bring the camera here.
Is there any special arrangement there? Hey Rajaji this is not the
place for reporting come inside. – You wait here, it’s a sensitive area.
– behind the curtains. – Very good, there is so much variety.
– It’s awesome right? Even I’ll sit there. – Thank you.
– Will you have some little? No no. Take something at least we have
good stock, my nephew is in army. – So he is in army?
– Yeah my nephew. – Did you get the gold chain or not?
– Yes of course, look don’t I look like a king? So this is like your Kashmir what
happens inside is not known to anyone. Rajaji will yo take neat or nit? Listen you, come inside why are
you recording form the hole? – Why are calling him?
– Let him come inside. – Should I make him drink also?
– Yeah go ahead. Hope he will be stable or else
the camera will be unstable. – See I’m not going to drink. I’m going through…
– What? If you don’t drink how will you dance? If I want to dance I can do it
even on a generator’s sound. Even generator needs petrol. – No No you drink.
– Drink it while eyes closed. Are you ashamed?
Everyone please close your eyes. Now play a song let’s dance. I’ll play a song. You’ll dance you
waist should move. – I’m sure mine will.
– We are old sinners. Now play the song. My turban has fallen.

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