Watching A Movie At Home Vs The Theaters – People Watching #9


mmm what’s the name of that actor William something-or-other you know he’s a that guy he’s the that guy that guy you know in France they don’t have a that guy they call it loo Monsieur oh you know what there should be a vaca version of The Expendables there should be a that guy version of The Expendables how can you eat so much of that rule of thumb if a chick eats snacks all the time but it’s somehow not 500 pounds it’s because those snacks are literally the only thing she’s eating hot girls like packing peanuts how do you think those actresses do it fuck Google old-school Hollywood sometime Judy are you eating we talked about this that is terrifying what do you do to avoid having to exercise sleep till 2:00 so I skip breakfast and lunch fuck how did I never think of that how do you think Cramer makes a living I don’t know either porn or full-time fast food there’s only so much overlap between jobs you can pay the rent with and jobs you wouldn’t tell anyone about why oh because I’m essentially grammar in real life so I would know how do you pay the rent it’s funnier if it goes unexplained are you serious yeah it was this movie Mike J the biggest stupidest kid in grade five got some one-line role because they were filming part of it at his house and all he would talk about was how he met Robert Lowe and got paid $1,000 and he was a thousandaire and then it ruined him and by high school he was just this huge disaster in a trench coat trying to sell counterfeit cigars out of his car that’s the guy you googled yeah and the only result was a police report from 2013 where he was arrested for soliciting minors on Craigslist she had never be a child star basically we’re not even a star a child extra oh man good times and you see now the movie and the popcorn are over but I was just starting to enjoy myself here I literally live next door to a Cineplex let’s just go see a random 9:30 show popcorn candy laughable plot twists floors you can spill shit on yes I’d watch that okay do you think this was actually shot in Prague no I don’t know it’s like you’re going to pay for yours I have a daughter who wants to be a stripper I was wondering if Oh God here we go with the terrible strip club scene that at no point intersects with reality hey just like a group of people who aren’t likely to tell their own stories and stereotype the shit out of them look at those moves literally from the 80s I mean am I the only person thinking that a lot of shit in movies is dependent on ignorance for it to be interesting Hollywood is so dehumanizing I bet if I’m at a stripper in real life she’d be nothing like the cliches in this stupid movie and there’s the obligatory lines of coke scene God’s sakes keep it down sex with my daughter is a risky game if you’re not careful I will do unspeakable things to you things they couldn’t even put in the Geneva Convention because they’re too filthy holy shit dude Chile’s this movie is actually the worst if I was alone I was here alone I’d walk out right now but I have to stay for his sake holy shit this movie is the worst Ted why are movies so bad Ted I know you can hear me did you say something Shh maybe movies are like elections the only way to get party status is to appeal to the largest group of people ie people who do not give a fuck about anyone ie every popular movie is an adaptation of a wretchedly bad amateur novel that every idiot bought because they could relate to the incoherence fucking 50 Twilight shades of the Martian DaVinci on the train man love that movie it were real entertaining there was some trans people in the theater though and I ain’t prejudiced through nothing but them trans people should be sent back to Transylvania damn it I feel like you just said something funny Ted if you’re an abandoned prog as it automatically prog-rock but this material is going to waste here this always happens to me specifically love the subject matter but then I end up hating the movie what I I mean listen to this guy he literally talks with the exact same cadence and intonation in every scene it’s like he’s perpetually reading a limerick I mean am I the only person thinking that this is the worst movie ever and everyone in it made more money than I’ll ever have and I can occasionally see people checking their phones and maybe there are people who think the same thing maybe there’s a constellation of similar views in here only visible from a distance but burning bright in the silent darkness of the cosmos this movie sucks did someone just say this movie sucks presumably as it sucks even begging shall I use 10% of their branch like you my friend especial you use 11% and NASA you’ve got to be kidding me you know what no you’re not gonna shush redact chicken humans has 10% of their brain the same way we use 8% of the calendar that is not anyone’s real hair and you’re watching pole dancing from 30 years ago the more you know will you shut up the dude speech where he explains the origin of the rule of thumb was bullshit – if anyone’s wondering oh I noticed that – how hard is it to Google that a Shh you watch enough stupid movies made by smart people and you have to wonder you know yeah completely like what’s the word from the application of collective intelligence results in something that’s less intelligent I can’t fucking hear yeah and then like we put our heads together and come up with this total piece of shit and it would at least be entertaining if you could talk during it but we also established a culture of art criticism where the audience’s rule doesn’t even matter so just sit down and shut up sit down and shit yeah that the intellectual focus of the entire process is actually the financing but fuck you you don’t take the plot seriously I want a piece of this actually so what are you saying that movies are just financial exercises well at least to the extent that it’s a bit precious to say that you’d better sit there and watch them in reverent silence will you please stop talking yeah but people are paying to hear the actors speak not the audience but a theater full of people is a stupid thing to seek out of what you really want is silence hey it’s a self resolving problem if the movie was good we’d all be so enraptured that we wouldn’t be having this conversation there’s a cure for syphilis and it’s called a 357 magnum yeah in but a movie can still be good and make you immediately want to discuss it though so shouldn’t you be able to yeah art is supposed to meet the needs of the audience so that merits a debate that okay if you guys don’t shut the fuck up I’m gonna go get Shh we are trying to have a conversation fuck let’s take this outside it’s too hard to have a discussion in here no kidding whatever movies are I just get so sick of the cliches on screen everything’s so cut-and-dry meanwhile in real life the strip club is the one place I don’t fucking get groped by sociopaths figured out the fuck oh oh I know I get sick of movies being so forgettable yet I can perfectly remember every good heckling I’ve participated in so many memories as much as I am proficient literally the only reason I remember seeing inception is because a fight broke out in the theater bitch I’ll kill you was this at the versity that actually might have been me fuck I was only there for the air conditioning hey I’m just here for the popcorn right I think that art is subjective you know and it brings people together by how they subjectively react to it imagine if you couldn’t talk at rock concerts or football games stop the game someone’s talking yeah it’s fucked that we don’t at least have talking and non talking theaters a fuck just put an extra screen out here popcorn candy lounge seating not having to turn your phone off yeah I’d watch that so was that movie shot in Prague or what I’ve been to Prague and that was not Prague which is weird because they do film tons of shit in Prague if you’re in a band in Prague as it automatically prog-rock ha oh Jesus so what did you think oh my god that was so bad I know I wanted to say something like the entire time I don’t think I should sleep with a 17 year old how about two 17 year olds all right good don’t worry you two won’t even know I’m here all right I found a ruler just sit over here now is the time for dick measuring oh I didn’t see you there I’m John I played Jackson on people watching thanks for checking out this episode if you want to follow us on Twitter you can find us at people watch underscore now if you’ll excuse me

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