Momy, when I grow up I want to be a Youtuber. Honey, I don’t really like the idea. But, You are a Youtuber ! Yes, but I’ve started ten years ago, in 2013 It’s an oversubscribed sector now. And you are 6 years old today. Too old to start a Youtube career. Really ? You should have think about your futur when it was the right time sweetheart. Instead of learning to walk. And when you decided to speak I was concerned about your future. Areuh. Don’t play the baby When you learned to tie your shoe laces, it was over. And stop crawling, you’ll ruin your jeans. Perfect. Listen princess, go play with your dad. I’m working. NORMAN ! COME LOOK AFTER YOUR DAUGHTER FOR GOD SAKE ! Daddy went out, at a bar. Again ! He is still mulling this video about diarrhea he made. EVERYBODY MAKES A FLOP ONE DAY OR ANOTHER ! You know what you are going to do ? You’re going to slither into bed and I’ll meet you there in a couple of minutes to read you DarkBeauty’s biography. Do you remember ? We were in the chapter where she hits 60 millions subscribers and becomes Minister of Labor of President Squeezie (famous french gaming Youtuber). I remember ! Go to your room, I’m coming. Where were we ? Chapter 26 : Exorcism at the council of ministers What are you hiding under your sheets little monkey ? Surprise ! What are You doing with Momy’s camera ? Are you filming me ? It’ll be my first video ! If I understand correctly, you want to do pranks ? GOT YOU ! Not at all ! Hide a camera is not enough to make a good prank. Really ? You need to imagine something to trick me ! Make me believe your leg was eaten by a shark for example. That’s a good one. But … Ok, in a bed, it’s unlikely. I’ll give you that. But Hollywood would have made it into a movie anyway. You’re right Momy ! Honestly baby, if you don’t have reflexes like that … your video is doomed to abyss. Even with a catchy title. Except maybe “Two hot girls in a bed” Hot ? Well, you’ve still got a 37,2°C fever (98,96 °F) It burns. Oh, my love ! You know what ? We gonna start over your video and you gonna make me believe something crazy this time. That I lost my Teddy ! Awesome honey, great idea. Andy-Marie-Natoo Thavaud, what are you doing ? I zoom on you … I’m warning you, don’t touch that lens with your hands cover on yogurt. I can’t believe it, you’ve hide cream cheese on your pillowcase again ! I’m hungry at night. This is the basic rule of a shooting. Rule n°1 : Don’t touch the camera with your hand cover on yogurt. The rule just before “Take the cap of the lens” And “Don’t let your teddy ruin the shot”. Sorry ! If you keep overlook details, you know what’s going to happened No … Pretty simple, I’ll sell you to Studio Bubble Tea’s dad (Controversial french channel introducing two kids managed by their father ) Hush, don’t worry, Momy still got enough money to keep you for a bite longer. But you cost a lot of money, You need to make efforts on your side too. What i’m supposed to do ? I don’t know, small and discreet product placements now and then. I’m not really fond of the idea. Listen, Momy need money to buy your “Panier de Yoplait” (French Yogurt brand) An irresistible dessert I LOVE DAIRY ! Hush Don’t say stuff like that ! Reckless girl Vegans have ears everywhere. Sorry honey, this is work, I have to answer. *We’ve just been informed about the death of the famous Youtuber Dark Beauty.* Not her ! *She died of a seafood allergy.* What’s happening ? Show me ! … full of advices to keep being depressed. She had just reached 80 millions subscribers and was the Head Master of Youdlard School first training Institute of Satanist Youtuber. For a reminder, her video “Opening the gates of hell with a vegetable peeler” is still the most viewed video on Youtube. She was 27 years old and she leave behind an even more sad and beaten down community than usual. Aunty …. Don’t worry pumpkin , your aunt Dark Beauty will live forever in your heart. Something is wrong. Let’s watch it together. Little mistake on our behalf regarding Dark Beauty’s death … She is still alive and she is doing as badly as usual. We received a video message from her We will broadcasting it right now. Hi, this is Dark Beauty. And I’m even angrier than usual. So, I’ve heard I’m dead. You took too much cyanide guys or what ! Unfortunately, I’m not yet in my bloody grave. However, everything is ready. You just need to put me in. And if I die one day, it will not be thanks to an allergy It will worthily. At the stake. If you don’t take down this gossip YoutubeDrama … just remember I’m famous for opening things with a vegetable peeler. Gossip channel of my … Did she lives in my heart anyway aunty Dark Beauty ? No ! Forget about this heart issue. She still leave in her huge house with an indoor pool. But this story filled your heart with something precious. Do you feel it ? No, but my PJ is filled with goat cheese if you want some. No, thanks. You really don’t see what I’m talking about ? A desire to live life to the fullest. This is a reminder that life is short and we should make the most of our time. By staying at home to make videos. Let’s forget about this “I’m too old for this shit” nonsens and this yogurt problem. Have fun my little panther. You know what ? My camera is yours now. Go to sleep and sweet dreams. Dreams where you create amazing content on Youtube. I’m going to show them my dairy collection. Have a good night my love.


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